Open adoption and extended family

Dr.Loretta

Interesting, no-holds-barred blog post about it

https://theyalllived.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/the-part-about-oa-that-isnt-all-sunshine-and-rainbows/

 

DaisyZH

That's sad, I feel so bad for her.  It sounds like she's tried to educate them over and over with no success.  Ugh, I hate family drama that is not a fun situation.

elissaann26

I wonder how common this is.  I know we have had similar experiences with close friends and understanding reunification.  They just don't seem to "get it", which is so frustrating since we feel like we have explained it so many times.  And I feel like we are in her same dilemma of deciding to try to continue to educate or distance ourselves (which is easier with friends than family).  Although with our foster boys going back home in a few days, DH and I have discussed how this could be a good way for us to try to approach the topic with some of them again to see if it clicks.

MagickalNarwhal

Wow, no holds barred indeed. We have experienced a milder version of that, despite trying to educate the SH** out of our families before we adopted. They still have doozies every once in a while but mostly they have learned to hold their tongues. One thing I try to say OFTEN is how much I see of my son in his birthparents, and that since I love him so much, it makes me love them. I'm hoping that my passive aggressive comments get through on some level - that if they love my son, they had better figure out a way to love his BPs too!!

I do think it's pretty common, unfortunately, and it will pretty much always fall on our shoulders to be the educators and ambassadors about adoption. Hopefully things are changing though!

CaptainSerious

I don't think this is limited to comments about open adoption.  My parents are/were thrilled and are absolutely supportive of our adoptive family, but the post above just how much they still miss.