Perfect Timing

elissaann26

So tomorrow is the big court date where we will probably hear that our foster kids will be heading home at the end of the week.  Our relationship with the birth parents have been strained to say the least.  And the last time we saw each other was the previous court hearing.  Afterward the hearing was completed, things escalated very quickly to the point where we walked out of a meeting.  Not good.  Since then, we have both tried to start to build a relationship through the help of a new SW.  Despite not actually meeting face-to-face (due to illness and scheduling conflicts), I feel like both parties have come a very long way.  But there are still a lot of nerves about seeing them again, especially in the same setting as our not so great interaction.

However, yesterday in the mail we recieved Artichoke's school pictures and soccer pictures!  And I already have Zucchini's daycare pictures that we were planning on giving them as well.  We ordered large packages so that we can keep a few and then give the rest to the birth parents.  I framed a 8x10 of each boy and found a cute Halloween frame that I put a picture of the boys in their costumes.  I'm so excited to have something to give them prior to court that will hopefully break the tension.  I also am planning on telling them that we are really proud of all of the progress that they have made and we are hopeful that the boys will be able to return home.  We just want them to know that despite the past and some current concerns, we will think it is awesome that they have done so much work to get these boys back!  I'm hoping this will make court a little easier for both of us!

ctbride08

awww, the pictures are going to be perfect, great idea.

Warning: unsolicited advice to follow...

because of work I do on multiculturalism and communication, I feel the need to put out some caution around "i'm proud of you" statements...of course it depends on so many things, but sometimes "I respect the work you've done" is better received.

elissaann26

ctbride08:

awww, the pictures are going to be perfect, great idea.

Warning: unsolicited advice to follow...

because of work I do on multiculturalism and communication, I feel the need to put out some caution around "i'm proud of you" statements...of course it depends on so many things, but sometimes "I respect the work you've done" is better received.

Thanks so much for your advice!  I really appreciate it!  I'll definitely use your suggestion instead. 

In this whole process, I have been frustrated that some of the actions I have done out of a very genuine place of caring and kindness have been interpretted as something completely different.  It has been difficult to know how to show our support without offending, so I really appreciate your input.  Thanks!

DaisyZH

That's so nice that you have the photos to give them.  I hope everything goes well, hopefully the new SW will help and the interaction will be better.  Good luck tomorrow!!

ctbride08

elissaann26:

ctbride08:

awww, the pictures are going to be perfect, great idea.

Warning: unsolicited advice to follow...

because of work I do on multiculturalism and communication, I feel the need to put out some caution around "i'm proud of you" statements...of course it depends on so many things, but sometimes "I respect the work you've done" is better received.

Thanks so much for your advice!  I really appreciate it!  I'll definitely use your suggestion instead. 

In this whole process, I have been frustrated that some of the actions I have done out of a very genuine place of caring and kindness have been interpretted as something completely different.  It has been difficult to know how to show our support without offending, so I really appreciate your input.  Thanks!

good, i'm glad i wasnt overstepping

I understand the bold 100%. It can be such a tough place to be.

Foster1Mom

We sent pics to one of our moms and it helped a ton breaking the ice at court the following week. I think it helps them see we are not monsters and real people who do care for these kids in care.

IRR

GL tomorrow.  Will be thinking about you and the boys.