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Natural Birth
PeonyPumps
member
What was the final push that convinced you to birth at home?
PeonyPumps
member
As I've mentioned, I have kind of an interesting set up, where I am being seen by an Ob and a midwife concurrently. I wholeheartedly trust our midwife, and trust my body. But I also remember the 7 or 8 hours of contractions with pitocin from DS's birth and wonder if I will be able to tough out the contractions naturally, as I'm not even really sure what hard contractions feel like without medication.
What helped you to decide for a home birth?
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Re: What was the final push that convinced you to birth at home?
I had an extremely easy med-free birth with #2. Like, so ridiculously easy that I was wondering why I was even at the hospital. And then, I felt so great afterwards that I wanted to leave the hospital six or so hours after the birth. I was mad that they "made" me stay for 24 hours. I was missing my oldest and my DH who was at home with him and just wanted to be in my own bed, eating my food, and getting rest. I told myself at that point that if I ever did it again I was just going to stay home.
Then my CNM retired and there were no midwives left in my area working in the hospitals anyways. If I wanted a MW I HAD to have a HB. Easy decision.
Pitocin contractions are way different than regular contractions. Believe me. I had pitocin with #1 and wimped out after a few hours and got an epi. It was easy to do it naturally without the pitocin for me! You'll be fine.
We first decided on birth center because I wanted midwife quality care and did not want pitocin again. Then reading birth stories made me realize that getting in a car and going anywhere while in labor is really not that appealing.
This birth was way different, I will post full version later, but let's say the whole thing was under 4 hours, with DS #1 I was on piticin for hours too. Completely different births and I am so incredibly happy that we decided on homebirth. I do not think we would have made it to either birth center or hospital if we tried. LOL
Hey there
First response! Am I a good LB or what, haha.
It sounds like you're saying that you're afraid of the unknown level of pain you might experience. Are you asking this question because you are thinking of distancing yourself from the possibility of having pain medications administered to you, so that you by default won't cave in? Or are you asking this because you really WANT a home birth, but are afraid that without access to pain meds, you'll be miserable?
I think it might be helpful to try to evaluate exactly what it is you're afraid of. You should try to figure this out and find a way to deal with it so that the fear doesn't work against you when you're in labor.
As you probably know, I had a midwife/hospital birth with DD and am using a birth center this time. I did have pitocin and nubain with DD. Had we not moved out of state, we would probably be going to the same hospital. At the time, I felt that my birth experience mirrored my plan as closely as possible given the circumstances of water breaking + slow early labor. But now I know that the timeline after water break in the hospital before pitocin was given, 24 hrs, is half the time they give at my birth center. The homey environment in the birth center, located on a hospital campus with Ob's who are all the way across the street, is what really decided it for us.
You might want to do some soul-searching about the environment that you feel would offer you the best sense of control. Depending on what you're thinking, maybe it would be scary to be at home, without access to pain meds or the staff and amenities that a hospital has? Maybe it's scarier to be in the hospital-- but why? Is it that you doubt yourself, or you think the Ob might be tapping his wrist watch and pushing the drugs? (I noticed you trust the midwife and your body, but you didn't mention the Ob.) If you can identify what exactly it is that's turning your thoughts away from the hospital, maybe you can talk about it?
Hi friend!
I barely know the Ob, and I don't really trust the hospital for birthing, even though I work there, lol (obviously not in L&D). I also was given a timeline the second my water broke and my labor did not progress as quickly as they wanted, so I was given pitocin and then later on had the epidural.
There are many things that I didn't like about my birth with DS (although it overall was an amazing experience, there were things that could have made it better). For example: the nurse helping deliver me was talking about episiotomy after I had strictly said no, she also started counting during pushing for me after I had just explicitly asked for them to be quiet and let me push (I'd had an epidural by that point but I could still feel contractions in my right hip so I knew when to push). Also, when I began to push, the Ob (not my current) came in, took one look at me, and then turned to leave and told the nurse to let him know when I was ready to have the baby. I actually said to him, "Are you seriously leaving right now???" Lol.
I know I didn't love some of the aspects of the hospital experience. I felt pressure there from the get-go, and I know that can seriously affect your birth experience. I trust my midwife and myself, but am mainly afraid of the unknowns. I know we can always leave and go to the hospital if needed, I'm just not decided yet, and trying to figure out what will put me over that ledge.
Gotcha.
Actually, it sounds like you do have your mind made up, but you are afraid of that unknown. So, your current midwife would deliver you at your home, no switching necessary? Just ditching the hospital and Ob? (I read the blog entry about how she comes to you there for check-ups...) And your H would be supportive?
There's no way to know exactly what it'll feel like. I'm fairly certain that you can count on the fact that at some point you will hit rock bottom whether or not you have had pitocin. Can you accept that? You have to believe that you can find it within yourself to keep going through that, because you KNOW now that the totally exhausted and wanting to quit feeling comes at precisely the moment that it's all about to get better: transition. You've been through some pretty amazing stuff in the last several months, and through all of it you've managed to stay positive. I've never met you and I know you're very strong, and I also know you have good support. I think if you believe you can, you can.
This is the kind of stuff that helped me choose homebirth. I didn't have a horrible hospital birth experience with my first, but there were things I didn't like and wish had been different, and I felt like I didn't want any regrets the second time around. Now, in hindsight, I'm so happy I got an "awesome" homebirth experience (even though it was a more intense birth, as far as sensations go), than a "not terrible" hospital birth experience. I don't have any regrets.
We moved recently and I don't know anything about the hospital here. I just don't want to have to fight. I don't want to fight my OB on internals or unnecessary tests. I don't want to have to have to fight the hospital about IVs or pit.
I just want to be at home where I am comfortable.
After having Ds in hospital, I was so happy with my experience. I got the med free birth I was hoping for and we were both healthy, so it was a great experience! Only, after reading Guide to Childbirth (after Ds and before this pregnancy) did I start to see things in a different light. I got an episiotomy after I explicitly said no bc my OB said I was going to tear. (Which led to a horrible horrible recovery.) Ds was whisked away to the warming table right away before I really got to hold him. He was given his hep shot, eye drops, and was swaddled before he was given back to me. I really mourn not having skin to skin, I feel cheated. And he couldn't even see me bc his eye drops were already in. It just makes me sad to think about what we missed out on in those first precious minutes.
We chose a HB with this one bc everything that was important to me during and after delivery was already standard protocol for my MW. I live 3 mins from a hospital in case of an emergency. I will feel immensely more comfortable in my own home, in my own clothes, eating my own food, and doing what comes natural to me w/o being told I'm wrong for doing it. And I seriously can't wait to climb into bed with my nekkid lil baby to snuggle, nurse, and be pampered! Plus, I won't be bombarded with visitors and guests right away! Surprisingly Dh is completely on board and is my greatest supporter, which is a 180 from my 1st pregnancy. He was more of the mind frame "it's your body, your choice" when it came to the epi.
I do have some reservations and worries, but I tell myself that's normal for most moms to be?? I mostly question if I'm making the right choice- every.single.one of my friends and family members have had or are planning hospital births. Only one friend had a birth center birth and she's the only real support I have (outside my MWs and H.) It's just hard to wrap my head around- if every other mom I know chose a different path, does that mean my path choice is wrong? Like, how can everyone else be wrong and me be right, Kwim? But I came to the realization last weekend when I was talking to friends that just bc I'm choosing a different place to birth my child, it doesn't make me wrong or crazy. Now I'm kind of excited to be the first in my group to do something like this
Sorry, I can't offer much advice except my own experiences and thoughts... If you're looking for a little support, PM me! GL mama!
My interest in home birth was piqued by my anxiety about hospitals.
I'd worked in a large hospital briefly and seen some not nice things. And for about a year prior both my in-laws had been very ill and in the hospital. I associated going to the hospital with bad news and illness - not a happy healthy thing like birth.
The other thing that stressed me out about labour was the idea of getting in a car while having contractions. Sounded terrible every time I read a birth story and someone was screaming and on all fours in the back of a minivan. Yuck.
So I talked it out with DH, our doula and midwives and decided to plan for a home birth. I thought I would be more comfortable at home and that it would be a pleasant experience.
I started reading up on home birth and the idea of it got more exciting to me. We didn't really tell any of our friends or family that we were planning on having the baby at home. We just did it.
I wouldn't think too much about your first labour when deciding if home birth is for you. Your second could be completely different.
The bigger question I would think about is if you think you'll feel comfortable laboring and birthing at home. Does it sound peaceful to you or risky? Some people are better off laboring and birthing at a hospital because they are just more comfortable there than they would be at home.
Good luck with your decision!
Labor and birth is such a personal experience. Home or hospital, OB or MW, neither is right or wrong in general. But specifically, one of the options might be right or wrong for each woman.
I had a home birth with my first and I know it was the right option for me. Is home birth the right option for everyone? NO.
Pitocin contractions give you consistent, hard contractions that make your uterus work hard with little to show for it. Normal unmedicated contractions fluctuate in intensity and frequency (giving you breaks between - heck I snoozed between my contractions!) and are not as intense as Pitocin ones.
YOU CAN DO THIS! If I can do it you can too! I do not have a high tolerance for pain. It was about breathing, breathing, breathing - deep and slow through them. And it was about having awesome support. Good luck!