How common..

YellowLily2013

How common are misscarriages or complications? I feel like there is a lot of ladies on here that experience it? Maybe thebump is not an accurate demographic?

Is there a percentage? Or something.


I want to give my sympathy to those suffering / who have suffered. I understand this is a very sentivite issue and want to be supportive.

JellyTwoPointO

1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.  Yes, it's tragic but so much more common than you might think.

KikiCohen

ncchnat:

When I lost my son, my doctor told me that 20 percent of pregnancies end in a loss of some kind, the majority of them in the first trimester. Your chances go down as you progress and go down drastically after you've seen a heartbeat. (Though it still does happen. My loss came at 15 weeks. Not trying to scare you; just share what I know.)

I don't know how common complications are.

I actually don't know how close TB percentage-wise. I spent eight months first the miscarriage board and the TTC After a Loss board so that almost everyone I know on here has had at least one loss. However, like I said, I've spent the majority of my time on the loss boards.

The easiest (and best) way to be supportive of someone who has gone through a loss is to say 'I'm sorry." and offer hugs. If you're the praying type, you can add in that you're praying for them.

Don't tell them that you understand. (You can't unless you've been through it.)

Don't try to justify it. (Ex. "The baby was probably sick. You wouldn't want to deal with those complications.")

DO NOT (I don't care how religious either you are) DO NOT, DO NOT tell her that her loss was part of God's plan. That ones pisses me off more than anything. 1) I'm not religious. 2) Even if I was, what you're telling me is that God knew he was going to make me happy and then killed my baby and crushed me. 

Don't tell them "Better luck next time." (It hurts.)

If you know someone in real life who has gone through a loss, try not to talk or complain about your pregnancy unless she asks. Also try to understand that it can be incredibly difficult to see a belly bump or a baby, especially if it's close to where she should have been. If she needs to take a step back for a little while or feels she can't handle coming to your baby shower, please try to understand that it is not about you. She is happy for you, but she is hurting for herself. 

YellowLily2013

ncchnat:

When I lost my son, my doctor told me that 20 percent of pregnancies end in a loss of some kind, the majority of them in the first trimester. Your chances go down as you progress and go down drastically after you've seen a heartbeat. Though it still does happen. My loss came at 15 weeks. Not trying to scare you; just share what I know.I don't know how common complications are.I actually don't know how close TB percentagewise. I spent eight months first the miscarriage board and the TTC After a Loss board so that almost everyone I know on here has had at least one loss. However, like I said, I've spent the majority of my time on the loss boards.The easiest and best way to be supportive of someone who has gone through a loss is to say 'I'm sorry." and offer hugs. If you're the praying type, you can add in that you're praying for them. Don't tell them that you understand. You can't unless you've been through it.Don't try to justify it. Ex. "The baby was probably sick. You wouldn't want to deal with those complications."DO NOT I don't care how religious either you are DO NOT, DO NOT tell her that her loss was part of God's plan. That ones pisses me off more than anything. 1 I'm not religious. 2 Even if I was, what you're telling me is that God knew he was going to make me happy and then killed my baby and crushed me.nbsp;Don't tell them "Better luck next time." It hurts.If you know someone in real life who has gone through a loss, try not to talk or complain about your pregnancy unless she asks. Also try to understand that it can be incredibly difficult to see a belly bump or a baby, especially if it's close to where she should have been. If she needs to take a step back for a little while or feels she can't handle coming to your baby shower, please try to understand that it is not about you. She is happy for you, but she is hurting for herself.nbsp;

Thanks for all that advice! It's great and it's especially hard to know what to say / what not to say in these situations.

I am very sorry for your loss.

BritsyB8

KikiCohen:

ncchnat:

When I lost my son, my doctor told me that 20 percent of pregnancies end in a loss of some kind, the majority of them in the first trimester. Your chances go down as you progress and go down drastically after you've seen a heartbeat. (Though it still does happen. My loss came at 15 weeks. Not trying to scare you; just share what I know.)

I don't know how common complications are.

I actually don't know how close TB percentage-wise. I spent eight months first the miscarriage board and the TTC After a Loss board so that almost everyone I know on here has had at least one loss. However, like I said, I've spent the majority of my time on the loss boards.

The easiest (and best) way to be supportive of someone who has gone through a loss is to say 'I'm sorry." and offer hugs. If you're the praying type, you can add in that you're praying for them.

Don't tell them that you understand. (You can't unless you've been through it.)

Don't try to justify it. (Ex. "The baby was probably sick. You wouldn't want to deal with those complications.")

DO NOT (I don't care how religious either you are) DO NOT, DO NOT tell her that her loss was part of God's plan. That ones pisses me off more than anything. 1) I'm not religious. 2) Even if I was, what you're telling me is that God knew he was going to make me happy and then killed my baby and crushed me. 

Don't tell them "Better luck next time." (It hurts.)

If you know someone in real life who has gone through a loss, try not to talk or complain about your pregnancy unless she asks. Also try to understand that it can be incredibly difficult to see a belly bump or a baby, especially if it's close to where she should have been. If she needs to take a step back for a little while or feels she can't handle coming to your baby shower, please try to understand that it is not about you. She is happy for you, but she is hurting for herself. 

Yes!! All of this!!

luckylindy

ncchnat:

When I lost my son, my doctor told me that 20 percent of pregnancies end in a loss of some kind, the majority of them in the first trimester. Your chances go down as you progress and go down drastically after you've seen a heartbeat. (Though it still does happen. My loss came at 15 weeks. Not trying to scare you; just sharing what I know.)

I don't know how common complications are.

I actually don't know how close TB is percentage-wise. I spent eight months first on the miscarriage board and then on the TTC After a Loss board so that almost everyone I know on here has had at least one loss. However, like I said, I've spent the majority of my time on the loss boards.

The easiest (and best) way to be supportive of someone who has gone through a loss is to say 'I'm sorry." and offer hugs. If you're the praying type, you can add in that you're praying for them.

Don't tell them that you understand. (You can't unless you've been through it.)

Don't try to justify it. (Ex. "The baby was probably sick. You wouldn't want to deal with those complications.")

DO NOT (I don't care how religious either you are) DO NOT, DO NOT tell her that her loss was part of God's plan. That ones pisses me off more than anything. 1) I'm not religious. 2) Even if I was, what you're telling me is that God knew he was going to make me happy and then killed my baby and crushed me. 

Don't tell them "Better luck next time." (It hurts.)

Don't tell them that they need to get over it in x amount of time. Everyone grieves differently and we've all lost something we very much wanted and loved. 

If you know someone in real life who has gone through a loss, try not to talk or complain about your pregnancy unless she asks. Also try to understand that it can be incredibly difficult to see a belly bump or a baby, especially if it's close to where she should have been. If she needs to take a step back for a little while or feels she can't handle coming to your baby shower, please try to understand that it is not about you. She is happy for you, but she is hurting for herself. 

 

Edit: Added a couple of sentences. 

 

This

Guillerma

ncchnat:

When I lost my son, my doctor told me that 20 percent of pregnancies end in a loss of some kind, the majority of them in the first trimester. Your chances go down as you progress and go down drastically after you've seen a heartbeat. (Though it still does happen. My loss came at 15 weeks. Not trying to scare you; just sharing what I know.)

I don't know how common complications are.

I actually don't know how close TB is percentage-wise. I spent eight months first on the miscarriage board and then on the TTC After a Loss board so that almost everyone I know on here has had at least one loss. However, like I said, I've spent the majority of my time on the loss boards.

The easiest (and best) way to be supportive of someone who has gone through a loss is to say 'I'm sorry." and offer hugs. If you're the praying type, you can add in that you're praying for them.

Don't tell them that you understand. (You can't unless you've been through it.)

Don't try to justify it. (Ex. "The baby was probably sick. You wouldn't want to deal with those complications.")

DO NOT (I don't care how religious either you are) DO NOT, DO NOT tell her that her loss was part of God's plan. That ones pisses me off more than anything. 1) I'm not religious. 2) Even if I was, what you're telling me is that God knew he was going to make me happy and then killed my baby and crushed me. 

Don't tell them "Better luck next time." (It hurts.)

Don't tell them that they need to get over it in x amount of time. Everyone grieves differently and we've all lost something we very much wanted and loved. 

If you know someone in real life who has gone through a loss, try not to talk or complain about your pregnancy unless she asks. Also try to understand that it can be incredibly difficult to see a belly bump or a baby, especially if it's close to where she should have been. If she needs to take a step back for a little while or feels she can't handle coming to your baby shower, please try to understand that it is not about you. She is happy for you, but she is hurting for herself. 

 

Edit: Added a couple of sentences. 

 

This was a phenomenal post.  OP, I'll add it sounds like you're looking for some numbers. I'm a very science-based, numbers oriented person, so I want the real numbers whether they are reassuring or not, over anecdotes. Or maybe better said, to have a context to understand the anecdotes in, because each story is important.

 

Here's one good site that I've found that has good summary statistics, with very credible references. Hope it helps with what you're looking for : 

https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/miscarriage-general

 

YellowLily2013

Guillerma:

 

Here's one good site that I've found that has good summary statistics, with very credible references. Hope it helps with what you're looking for : 

https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/miscarriage-general

 

This is awesome! Thanks for sharing it!