Sooooo...remember when...

Mush-Tastic · November 2012

I told you guys like a month ago that one of my personal references had not completed the questionaire and they'd had it for over 2 months? STILL hasn't done it. We wrapped up our final home study meeting this morning (holy smokes! 6 months later and we're DONE) and literally everything is waiting upon this last reference.

We were told at home study meeting #5 this past Friday that it hadn't been turned in, so we immediately called up one of my hubby's co-workers who had stepped forward months ago offering help with references or whatever we needed. This person doesn't know me as well, so we chose not to take him up on that offer at the time. So we called him Friday afternoon and he agreed to do it and we stressed over and over and over that we needed it done this weekend. He said it was no problem, he had no plans and would work on it and get it done.

My SW just left our house 2 hours ago from our walk through and just emailed me now and said she never received it.

I AM GOING TO FLIP OUT!

I can honestly say that I am so hurt by the fact that my original person didn't take 30 minutes out their time in the past 3+ months to fill out a few questions regarding us and our friendship of almost 15 years. And then to constantly make excuses and tell us they were gonna get it done that day the 3 times I had to approach them about it. I realize that our decision to adopt is not the main focus of everyone's life. I get it, but don't agree to be a part of something SO HUGE that will change the course of someone's life if you're not willing to do the work. It's not like it was a letter, or that the questions were even that detailed.

I'm feeling SO hurt and frustrated and now our home study approval is hanging i the balance because we can't even get the 2nd one in. For the love...

Foster1Mom · November 2012

WTF is wrong with these people? Those references are so easy to do and take no time at all. I am sorry they are such toolbags!!

srmmm09 · November 2012

Wow, how inconsiderate! I don't blame you for being hurt - who wouldn't be?

Dr.Loretta · November 2012

I totally get your frustration. Most of our friends were thrilled to be references, and were very timely. Especially one who was going through the foster/adopt process. And it is such a horrible feeling to have to nag about it.

kgs0505 · November 2012

I asked about 2 or 3 extra people to be references so that I woulnd't be hanging on one person. It's really hard when it only takes someone a few minutes. Although, I have done one that was surprisingly detailed and they wanted it notarized! I am ashamed to say that that was what prevented me from completion is the notary requirement. I had a new baby and it was difficult to get time set aside to go get a piece of paper notarized. (hangs head in shame)

Blsd4given · November 2012

Sorry. I know how frustrating it is. We had to swap out a reference too. He offered up being a reference before we even asked him... So, we added him to the list (with his agreement). A month or two later and he hadn't completed the form. We had tried to contact him a few times to gently remind. He never responded. We tossed him out - got a new couple. A month later, he asks if we still need the form. We never responded. We simply didn't know what to say to him at that point.

I hope your new reference completes the form quickly. Maybe he just got unexpectedly busy and will complete it this week. ::fingers crossed::