Separation Anxiety?
Brittlefey
member
My 6 month old hates being held by anyone other than me. Until about a week ago he loved seeing his grandparents, but now when they come up to him he cries. He still warms up to them a few minutes later, but they blame me for it. They feel I spoil him by holding him so much, etc.
The other issue is his reaction to his dad. LO panics when his dad comes near him, or even just touches his hand. He'll look up at me for reassurance, and I usually have to hold him or at least his hand for him to be okay with his dad at all. He turns beat red and shakes he gets so upset. I thought he'd grow out of it, but it started when he was only a couple weeks old. He was always fine when held by anyone, friends, family, etc., but never with his dad. He does better with strangers. I am worried about it.
Re: Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is a normal developmental phase that all babies go through to some degree, regardless of how they are raised - personality has as much to do with it as anything. Callum for example had much greater SA than Eleanor has even though they've been raised the same.
On the dad issue...I really think it's important for dads to figure out their own ways to soothe baby. Baby's negative reaction could be due in large part to you and/or dad's anxiety over the fact that you are expecting baby to get upset - baby picks up on that anxiety and does in fact get upset. Have you left the two of them alone together for any period of time? Has dad been regularly involved in baby's care?
I would make time to leave baby and daddy alone together and let them sort things out - leave the house. Time alone is good for you and dad may be more at ease if he doesn't feel like you are there to hand baby off to when crying starts. Dad has to figure out his own way to comfort baby - you can't find it for him
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My LO has gone through periods of stranger anxiety too, and it is completely normal for a baby to experience these fears, even of grandparents and close friends. Very normal.
You are not going to hold LO too much. Enjoy snuggling your baby - he won't be spoiled, and when he is older and running around, not wanting snuggles, you'll be so glad that you spent so much time holding him as an infant!
I agree with PP about LO's dad. DS can sense how I'm feeling in an instant and will react strongly to my emotions. Perhaps if you are affectionate with DH and LO sees how much you love his Daddy, that would help him to know that this guy is ok!