Biting at Preschool

alicatt79

DS is in a 3 year old class 5 days a week.  Most of the kids in the class are older though, already turned 4 or turning 4 soon.  DS is older too, so I'm ok with that.  The class consists of 12 kids, 3 girls, 9 boys. There are 2 teachers that are great.

Anyway, DS has been bitten 3 times in the past 3 weeks.  Twice by the same kid.  Both of the boys that bit him are 4.  None of the bites broke the skin or even left a mark for too long, and DS soesn't seem upset about it at all.  The teachers say they take this seriously and that the boys are disciplined, but I don't want this to keep happening.

The same two boys are always picking on DS, it seems.  Last week one boy threw water in DS's face at lunch and the teacher had to change his clothes.  Another day in the gym DS was goofing off on the floor and the other boy jumped on his stomach. 

I've tried telling DS not to play with the boys that bite and play rough but that doesn't work.  The teachers don't let DS and one of the other boys sit next to each other at circle time or lunch/snack time.  I don't know if the kids are biting/hurting other kids as well or just DS. I don't know if DS is instigating this somehow.

Isn't 4 waaaay too old for biting? Am I crazy for making a big deal out of this?  The class has parent/teacher conferences next week and I'm wondering what I should ask/expect/say about this.

Sorry this got so long. TIA!

ldcoffel

Way to old for biting. I would make a big deal. I would ask if my child was instigating in some way. What is the plan to manage the behavior of the other child? What are they doing to protect my child. What is the policy of bullying in the preschool classroom. At what point would the other child be dismissed from the class.

mammamia24

ldcoffel:

Way to old for biting. I would make a big deal. I would ask if my child was instigating in some way. What is the plan to manage the behavior of the other child? What are they doing to protect my child. What is the policy of bullying in the preschool classroom. At what point would the other child be dismissed from the class.

I agree! I if this continues I would, also, consider placing ur LO in another preschool or at least another classroom.

Max'smom

Find out what their policy is on biting. At 4 if a child is biting most preschools should be sending that child home.  

I had an issue with DS1 being bitten by the same boy at daycare when he was 3. One day this little boy had 6 biting incidents before he was finally sent home. I did end up pulling DS1 from that school but looking back I do feel like I over reacted to some degree.

Fast forward almost a year when DS2 was 17 months he was having issues biting at school. Althought biting is apporiate at this age, having been on the other side went above and beyond to come to the root cause of his biting. I had him evaluated at the Health Dept. What it boiled down was that DS2 was not being stimualated enough and also had a hard time during times of transtion.

DS1 and DS2 are in the same preschool now. DS2 did have a few incidents of biting when he first transitioned which we anticipated. Then last month he had 4 incidents where he bit the same girl, she is 1.5 years older than him. After talking with the teachers and watching what was going on it turns out the girl is acutually picking on him and he was defending himself. I have actually witnessed several issues of her seeking DS2 out and kicking him. DS2 is not the only kid she is having issues with.

While it is always troubling to have your child bit at school or being a biter it is best to try to remove the emotion of what is happening and really try to work through it. Start by speaking calmly with the school and engage outside resourse, there are many available. Try also to remember that it is just as stressful to be on the other side.

weddedwife

ldcoffel:

Way to old for biting. I would make a big deal. I would ask if my child was instigating in some way. What is the plan to manage the behavior of the other child? What are they doing to protect my child. What is the policy of bullying in the preschool classroom. At what point would the other child be dismissed from the class.

I agree with this. A girl just got kicked out of DD's 3 yo classroom for biting. She had 3 incidents and the last time drew blood; that was the last straw. I'm glad she's gone.