Anyone else having to deal with everyones annoying opinions on c-section (rant)

catshoes

I'm having an elective c-section based on the size estimate of my baby and the complication that could arise should a natural birth go wrong  (things like brain damage, permanent nerve damage and broken bones) I also know his size is an estimate and could be off by several pounds but I'm not willing to take the risks.

I know I've made a decision in my sons best interest but  some people (mainly my husbands friends some even men) Keep saying rude things like doctors say those things to scare you, fat squishes so he'd be o.k. Did you see the business of being born elective c-sections are unnecessary. And you'll regret it afterwards.

It's really getting under my husbands skin and I just keep telling him it's none of their business. And how would we feel it our child suffered brain damage because we decided to go with our natural birth plan  Its not worth it. If he comes out 8 pounds instead of 10+ I'm not going to regret it because I know i put his safety ahead of my own wants

cmytutu

I elected for mine.  I got a lot of flack for it too.  My answer to the question, "Why are you having a C/S"?  was always, "It's just better for me".  With the head tilt and the eyebrows lifted.  Most people assumed there was a medical reason and left it at that.  My family pryed and pryed so I started saying, "I'd rather be sliced open like a fish than to be spread eagle in anquish."  This shut them up pretty fast.

Screw everyone else!  Do what's best for YOU and YOUR family.

I have NO regrets.

mamabisme

If you're happy with your decision there is no reason you or your husband should feel like you have to justify it to anyone. If anyone asks why just say "my doctor and I agree that this is what's best." If they continue to pry I'd say "thank you for your concern but we've already made the decision and I prefer not to discuss it anymore." Or "stfu, it's none of your business," works too

annabelle.27

It's not just a c-section thing- I took a lot of crap for my planned vbac, and that was when no one knew I was planning a homebirth. People like to weigh in on other people's decisions, and it doesnt seem that there are many decisions out there that are free from judgement.

If you are happy with your decision, then tell people to stfu. Quit discussing it with anyone- every time to engage them in conversation and try to share your reasons with them, that just reaffirms for them that they have a right to know your reasons and critique them. Just say "This is the decision we have made in consultation with my doctor" and leave it at that. Your body = your choice.

JSabs09

I hear you - my husband felt the same - so annoyed - ours was "elective" but due to a breech baby so I really didn't have a choice.  We got the same reactions everything from "are you disappointed?" to "I'm sorry" when we said we knew our scheduled date for the c and that we were having a c.  But, yes, you get this with everything from epidurals to breast feeding, etc - so everyone has an opinion - I would just ignore them.  All that matters is healthy mom/healthy baby!

CaniacMom

I had c-sections with both my children.  My oldest was an emergency C-Section and almost 14 years later I opted for an elective C-Section.  I was given the option for a VBAC but I had just read the doctors notes from when I had my older son (had to get them for a OB practice I was trying to get in with) I don't think there is anyway anyone could have convinced me to try VBAC.  Oldest DS was stuck in the birth canal and reading how they got him out just did not set well with me.

I have NEVER regretted not giving birth vaginally.  I have two healthy sons and I do not think that they have missed that trip through the birth canal.

bridein08

I also got everyone and their mother's opinion on how my son was born. I had an elective cesarean at 39 weeks and he was right on for size- 9 pounds 5 ounces. If I waited to give birth (and go into labor) naturally, he would have likely been 10 1/2 to 11 pounds. 

The cesarean was SO easy, and recovery was simple. I wouldn't change it for anything- and now I am a bit more forward that it is inappropriate for anyone else to assert their opinion about my son's birth outloud

Don't worry! You and your doc decide what it best, and tell everyone else to shove it. 

Ninja77

I am so glad this was brought up.  My doctor made the decision with me having a c-section and I am more than OK with this.  It just makes sense- healthy baby is the most important thing.

 I find it so amazing the horrible comments & judgement that are cast on c-sections (elective or not).
Not to mention those looks you get like you are a bad Mom or something.

You rock it out with your decision and know you are supported here! 

MAprincess

annabelle.27:

It's not just a c-section thing- I took a lot of crap for my planned vbac, and that was when no one knew I was planning a homebirth. People like to weigh in on other people's decisions, and it doesnt seem that there are many decisions out there that are free from judgement.

If you are happy with your decision, then tell people to stfu. Quit discussing it with anyone- every time to engage them in conversation and try to share your reasons with them, that just reaffirms for them that they have a right to know your reasons and critique them. Just say "This is the decision we have made in consultation with my doctor" and leave it at that. Your body = your choice.

This. Though I had a hospital VBAC.  Tons of flack.  People just seem to think that you didn't do your research on how to birth your own child and they feel it is their responsibility to weigh it.  Annoying.  I'd suggest you just don't discuss it with them or say, "Thank you Dr. (insert name) for your medical opinion."

EnchantedRose819

I cannot stand that!  It's your body, your uterus, your baby!  how YOU decide to bring him into this world is you decision.  As long as you have a beautiful healthy baby, who cares whether he came out your hoohaa or a c-section.  I cannot stand those women & men that feel so self righteous to actually debate and question & insult your decision.

 I had a c-section with my first, and I currently have the option of doing a Vbac or a RCS....and right now i'm leaning more towards RCS, just because my first was a big boy, and this one is already measuring big - they actually changed my due date!

If you & your husband did your research, spoke about options with your doctor and feel 100% confident with your choice, then don't worry about others opinions.  Next time someone asks & they don't like your choice, politely tell them their opinion isn't going to change your mind & you would rather not hear it if it's negative.

kellyjojo

I did/do.  When I get the strange face when I say that I elected and am electing to have another c-section, I just give a strange face back.  As if this is a blind decision.  People are so obnoxious and just cant help being opinionated.  Who the heck cares.  The concern needs to lie with the kind of parent we all plan on becoming.  We need to focus on our commitment to our children.  Bottom line.  Dont even think twice about it.

Heather2884

My doctor and I choose to have an elective c-section due to health complications for me.  It was the best and safest route for us.  I will never regret it and feel proud to have made the decision best for my safety and my baby's.  Do what is best for you and your family.  That is what is important.

pitterpatter129

annabelle.27:

It's not just a c-section thing- I took a lot of crap for my planned vbac, and that was when no one knew I was planning a homebirth. People like to weigh in on other people's decisions, and it doesnt seem that there are many decisions out there that are free from judgement.

If you are happy with your decision, then tell people to stfu. Quit discussing it with anyone- every time to engage them in conversation and try to share your reasons with them, that just reaffirms for them that they have a right to know your reasons and critique them. Just say "This is the decision we have made in consultation with my doctor" and leave it at that. Your body = your choice.

This.  I'm trying for a vbac this time around (but also re-reading up on csections just in case!) and everyone has an opinion on that too!  Because "you are going to die and your baby is going to die if you plan a vaginal birth over a repeat csection"!  I think people just want to hear their own voice chatter, no matter what you decide.  Ignore them as best as possible.

 

Kissimi21

Here's the universal rule when it comes to pregnancy and birth:  You are always going to be wrong according to "the experts". 

If you chose a RCS, you are missing out on the birth, you are taking the easy route, it's not necessary... 

If you chose to VBAC, you are risking your baby, your life and not thinking clearly. 

If you go unmedicated, you couldn't possibly understand how painful it will be, you are going to regret it, you will cave and beg for drugs...

If you go medicated, you are missing out on a "natural birth". 

 No matter what you chose, someone will always have to add their two cents. (And BTW, they are ususally over charging.)  I orginally wanted a VBAC for my twins.  People gave me side-eye and said I was crazy.  I would regret it.  It's too risky.  After talking to my doctor and discussing my health, we decided that a RSC is the way to go.  Now some people are saying that I didn't give a VBAC a chance, that recovering from a CS is going to be hell with twins and a toddler, that I would regret it.  See, no matter what you chose, you are going to be wrong.  Just tell the "experts" to bugger off and mind their own business.

dklavano

Kissimi21 said it perfectly!  Everyone has an opinion to contradict whatever a mom does.

 I had really strong opinions about what moms should do until I became a mom and realized I didn't know jack about any of it.  Thankfully I kept my mouth closed about my opinions before, because I would be calling all those moms to apologize now!  

Know you are doing what is best for you and your baby and screw everyone who thinks they know you and your body better! 

AnnaRedhead

Just ignore those people...you are doing the right thing putting the safety of your baby first! Screw everyone else!! My son was 11 pounds when he was born...he was measuring 10 pounds on the growth ultrasound. So those estimates can be off either way...I am SO thankful I had a c-section! There's no way in hell that was happening!

Just try to ignore anyone who is being judgemental.

"Follow your heart for you will be judged anyways." Eleanor Roosevelt

hols0326

I don?t think I?ve ever come across a more controversial subject than pregnancy/child birth. Seriously, I didn?t realize how crazy people were about it all until I got pregnant. I?m having an elective c-section on Friday. LO measured 10 lbs 8 oz at my appointment on Monday. I?m well aware that that number is an estimate. However, I haven?t made one tiny bit of progress on my own, and I fear that waiting forever to go into labor might result in an emergency c-section anyway since baby will just get bigger, and why would I want to risk that? I?ve already gotten some weird looks and flack for it, but I really don?t care. How I birth my baby, or how anyone births their babies, is no one else?s business. There?s no right or wrong way to birth a baby, in my opinion. So, I?m not going to experience natural child birth. I wasn?t really that interested in it to begin with. I just don?t understand why anyone at all cares how my baby comes into the world, as long as she is safe and healthy. We did our research and are comfortable with our decision, and truly excited to meet our girl on Friday! If people push, I stick with the response that this is the best option for us, and our doctor is completely supportive. You're making the best decision for YOUR family, & no one can make you feel bad about that. GL!