What Would Happen

kenziegirl17

I watched "The Business of Being Born" and it REALLY freaked me out! The idea of hospitals forcing you to have pitocin if you take too long makes me so pissed off! What would happen if I said no? What would happen if I said, "Screw you, I'm doing this naturally and I'll lay here as long as it takes"?

oliversmommy32912

You always have the right to say no, but they will sure try and pressure you...they will pull the dead mom card, the dead baby card, tell you it's the only way... Ultimately they do have the upper hand because you pretty much sign your life away when you enter the hospital (they have you sign a form that basically says they can do whatever they want to you). That's why it is SO important to find a provider that you can trust. Sometimes interventions are necessary and it's crucial that you have a provider who you know will do what is best for you and your baby. Or better yet, skip the hospital all together and go with a birth center or have a home birth. At the very least wait at home as long as you can before going in.

FWIW, I had an unmedicated hospital birth and it was great. The only thing they pushed on me that I didn't want was fetal monitoring...not that I was opposed to monitoring, I was opposed to having to stay in that uncomfortable bed during transition! So not all hospitals are evil and not all hospital births are bad. 

sschwege

If you really and truly said 'I do not consent'?  Nothing would happen, you must consent to all medical procedures and if they do not have your consent their only other option would be to try to get a court order, which of course they wouldn't do over something like that.

However as pp said depending on the hospital, they may ask you to sign a waiver, they may badger you and not just one person, many people, and worst of all they might start to tell you scary stories of what might happen.  This is where you really need to do your own research, stay home as long as possible and as pp said find a health care provider you trust.  What makes situations like this hard is that there are times when interventions are 100% necessary and life saving to both mother and child. So like any good mother, you will always error on the side of caution.  If someone came at me with, "your baby might die" I would consent to anything.  This is why trust is so important, ideally you need to find someone who you have faith in to make the best decisions for both of you.

For what it's worth not all hospitals are like this.  I had a wonderful med-free birth in a hospital and hope to have the same experience this time around. 

wren444

What could happen is a bad outcome for baby...but more likely the staff will label you as uncooperative and make everything more difficult for you. Not to be all negative, because I was totally determined to go all natural with my first, but you asked...Try to remember that while some providers will pressure you for the wrong reasons, many will pressure you for the right ones.

What happened to me when I was in this scenario (except at home with midwife with ruptured membranes at 24-40+ hours) was the stress of having my provider pressure me to induce started holding me up. Ironically as soon as we made the decision to transport I started progressing...fast...we never ended up transporting! Had a successful natural homebirth at 46 hours.

Lesson learned: have caution about getting into a power struggle with your provider while in labor. When they start talking worst case scenarios it can do a real number on your hormones.

Also, for another perspective, I was so scared of pitocin back then it played into my slow progress...I actually had to have a shot of it post-delivery to prevent hemorrhage - it wasn't anything after what I'd been through. Already going into this next birth feeling like a little pitocin early on would be way better than the full on exhaustion of laboring through 2 nights without sleep. The risk of complications from an exhausted baby and mom are not to be ignored - and I think if I had to have it, I would handle pitocin better earlier when I wasn't so depleted. 

Ideally we get on the same page with our provider early on so we can trust them if they tell us an induction is in the baby's best interests. I really understand wanting to tell them to go f*** themselves, this is my birth...but you need them on your team - so the better strategy is to find out what the parameters are ahead of time and where you can get them to stretch and where you can not. Most of the time doctors are more willing to be flexible if they feel like you are working with them/respecting them.

danak4

I agree with everything that's been said, and just wanted to recommend a book I read and really liked : "Natural Hospital Birth" by Cynthia Gabriel. She has all kinds of great techniques for working with hospital staff in a positive way to get the best outcome for you and baby. 

mystrana

As others have said, it is important to get a careprovider that you trust to tell you when you honestly do need an intervention.

Also, I wanted to say that I had my birth in a hospital and when I told the nurses I was going med-free, they did not push for any. Even when I was screaming in pain and even when it took me a few hours to progress, so that was nice. I think more hospitals are starting to be more open to different births, so definitely check with the hospital you want to give birth with, if you're going to have a hospital birth.

resilient61

Come prepared with a "best case scenario" birth plan. I made 4 copies of mine. I gave one to the nurse to leave at the nurses station, posted one in the room, and gave one to my mom & hubby to memorize.  I baked cookies when I was in early labor to help pass the time & to soften the blow of the detailed birth plan- All advice I had received by veteran moms If you do your research and use proper medical terms, and put your wishes in writing the nurses definitely seem to respect your decisions more. My nurses were great- but they also saw that I was firm! On the other hand, a friend I coached did not have a written birth plan, and did some research, but not extensive.  i was sent to get her DH a sandwich & in the 10 min I was gone the nurses lied to her about a drug they gave her saying it was non-narcotic.  Know your stuff! But that also means you'll know that there are times when intervention just might be best...

sschwege

I also wanted to add some good advice I got from my Hypnobirthing teacher last time.  She said if they come at you with anything.  First ask if it's an emergency.  The vast majority of the time it will not be.  So then you start asking questions:

What are the benefits to what you are suggesting?

What are the risks?

Any alternatives?

Then you ask for a few minutes alone with your partner to discuss.  The only intervention they asked me about was, did I want them to break my bag of water before I started pushing.  I asked what the benefits to it were and my MW's exact response was, "So we don't get sprayed in the face!" She then went on to say that there really was no benefit and not to worry because they could hold up towels.  I declined and my MW never got sprayed in the face

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sschwege:

I also wanted to add some good advice I got from my Hypnobirthing teacher last time. nbsp;She said if they come at you with anything. nbsp;First ask if it's an emergency. nbsp;The vast majority of the time it will not be. nbsp;So then you start asking questions:What are the benefits to what you are suggesting?What are the risks?Any alternatives?:

this is part of the BRAIN acronym. Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition Nothing. Very good to remember when facing interventions.

What are the benefits? What are the risks? What are your alternatives? What is your intuition telling you? And what would happen if you choose to do nothing?

Amanda&EricB

My husband's aunt, mother, and sister are all L&D nurses. I've heard some stories. I had my son with no meds but you can be damn sure I was willing to listen to the nurses and doctors, if they wanted to impart some knowledge (seeing as how, you know, they went to school for this for YEARS).

I ended up getting the birth that I wanted but if things had been different, if I'd had to have pit or a c section, you know what? It wouldn't have been the end of the world. At the end of the day, I would have had my son, alive and healthy. That was my goal all along anyway (and my health providers goal, too, btw).

sschwege

Amanda&EricB:

My husband's aunt, mother, and sister are all L&D nurses. I've heard some stories. I had my son with no meds but you can be damn sure I was willing to listen to the nurses and doctors, if they wanted to impart some knowledge (seeing as how, you know, they went to school for this for YEARS).

I ended up getting the birth that I wanted but if things had been different, if I'd had to have pit or a c section, you know what? It wouldn't have been the end of the world. At the end of the day, I would have had my son, alive and healthy. That was my goal all along anyway (and my health providers goal, too, btw).

A big part of a health care provider's goal is healthy baby, healthy mommy, you know what the other part of their 'goal' is, avoid a lawsuit.  Sad but true that is part of what drives their decisions and honestly I don't blame them one bit, better believe if this was my career, I would make sure my back-side was covered too.  But that's why it's a good idea to find a health care provider you trust and do your own research.

 

aliska

sschwege:

If you really and truly said 'I do not consent'?  Nothing would happen, you must consent to all medical procedures and if they do not have your consent their only other option would be to try to get a court order, which of course they wouldn't do over something like that.

However as pp said depending on the hospital, they may ask you to sign a waiver, they may badger you and not just one person, many people, and worst of all they might start to tell you scary stories of what might happen.  This is where you really need to do your own research, stay home as long as possible and as pp said find a health care provider you trust.  What makes situations like this hard is that there are times when interventions are 100% necessary and life saving to both mother and child. So like any good mother, you will always error on the side of caution.  If someone came at me with, "your baby might die" I would consent to anything.  This is why trust is so important, ideally you need to find someone who you have faith in to make the best decisions for both of you.

For what it's worth not all hospitals are like this.  I had a wonderful med-free birth in a hospital and hope to have the same experience this time around. 

This is not true.  The hospital has the upper hand once you sign the form.  Even if you say, "I do not consent", they can say it was an emergency and do anything they want to to your body or your baby.  There are stories in the book Pushed about hospitals getting court orders to force women to have c-sections...even though they were already pushing their babies out.  MyOBsaidWhat.com has countless stories of women screaming that they do not consent and having their wishes violated.

It is critical to find a care provider and a facility that you trust.  Make sure that the care provider and facility have experience with the type of birth that you want.  You want to be in the care of someone who knows what you want and has seen it countless times.  Good luck!

Amanda&EricB

aliska:

sschwege:

If you really and truly said 'I do not consent'?  Nothing would happen, you must consent to all medical procedures and if they do not have your consent their only other option would be to try to get a court order, which of course they wouldn't do over something like that.

However as pp said depending on the hospital, they may ask you to sign a waiver, they may badger you and not just one person, many people, and worst of all they might start to tell you scary stories of what might happen.  This is where you really need to do your own research, stay home as long as possible and as pp said find a health care provider you trust.  What makes situations like this hard is that there are times when interventions are 100% necessary and life saving to both mother and child. So like any good mother, you will always error on the side of caution.  If someone came at me with, "your baby might die" I would consent to anything.  This is why trust is so important, ideally you need to find someone who you have faith in to make the best decisions for both of you.

For what it's worth not all hospitals are like this.  I had a wonderful med-free birth in a hospital and hope to have the same experience this time around. 

This is not true.  The hospital has the upper hand once you sign the form.  Even if you say, "I do not consent", they can say it was an emergency and do anything they want to to your body or your baby.  There are stories in the book Pushed about hospitals getting court orders to force women to have c-sections...even though they were already pushing their babies out.  MyOBsaidWhat.com has countless stories of women screaming that they do not consent and having their wishes violated.

It is critical to find a care provider and a facility that you trust.  Make sure that the care provider and facility have experience with the type of birth that you want.  You want to be in the care of someone who knows what you want and has seen it countless times.  Good luck!

Earlier, I dropped my son off with my MIL so I could go to an appointment. When I got there, she was on the phone with her sister and they were talking about their shifts last night (they are both L&D nurses, at different hospitals). My MIL was talking about a woman who refused to consent for a c section, no matter how many times the nurses and doctors checked her and tried to impress upon her the urgency of the situation. She insisted on pushing. Five hours later, when she finally gave in, they did a section and when they cut into her uterus, all they saw was brain matter. The baby's head had literally been squeezed too hard. I'm a big believer/proponent of natural birth. I fought for mine, and I never regretted it. But sometimes, I think our own convictions can stop us from seeing what's really best. I'm not saying this is the case everytime, just something to remember when you are so staunchly opposed to ANY intervention.

sschwege

Amanda&EricB:

aliska:

sschwege:

If you really and truly said 'I do not consent'?  Nothing would happen, you must consent to all medical procedures and if they do not have your consent their only other option would be to try to get a court order, which of course they wouldn't do over something like that.

However as pp said depending on the hospital, they may ask you to sign a waiver, they may badger you and not just one person, many people, and worst of all they might start to tell you scary stories of what might happen.  This is where you really need to do your own research, stay home as long as possible and as pp said find a health care provider you trust.  What makes situations like this hard is that there are times when interventions are 100% necessary and life saving to both mother and child. So like any good mother, you will always error on the side of caution.  If someone came at me with, "your baby might die" I would consent to anything.  This is why trust is so important, ideally you need to find someone who you have faith in to make the best decisions for both of you.

For what it's worth not all hospitals are like this.  I had a wonderful med-free birth in a hospital and hope to have the same experience this time around. 

This is not true.  The hospital has the upper hand once you sign the form.  Even if you say, "I do not consent", they can say it was an emergency and do anything they want to to your body or your baby.  There are stories in the book Pushed about hospitals getting court orders to force women to have c-sections...even though they were already pushing their babies out.  MyOBsaidWhat.com has countless stories of women screaming that they do not consent and having their wishes violated.

It is critical to find a care provider and a facility that you trust.  Make sure that the care provider and facility have experience with the type of birth that you want.  You want to be in the care of someone who knows what you want and has seen it countless times.  Good luck!

Earlier, I dropped my son off with my MIL so I could go to an appointment. When I got there, she was on the phone with her sister and they were talking about their shifts last night (they are both L&D nurses, at different hospitals). My MIL was talking about a woman who refused to consent for a c section, no matter how many times the nurses and doctors checked her and tried to impress upon her the urgency of the situation. She insisted on pushing. Five hours later, when she finally gave in, they did a section and when they cut into her uterus, all they saw was brain matter. The baby's head had literally been squeezed too hard. I'm a big believer/proponent of natural birth. I fought for mine, and I never regretted it. But sometimes, I think our own convictions can stop us from seeing what's really best. I'm not saying this is the case everytime, just something to remember when you are so staunchly opposed to ANY intervention.

Who is saying they are 'staunchly opposed' to interventions?  They are life-saving and thank God we have them.  Why would I be receiving prenatal care and delivering with a health care provider if I didn't? My point is, find someone you trust!  If my MWs told me we need to head to the ER now, I wouldn't think twice about it, but that's because I TRUST them.