WTF self

RondackHiker

DS got something in his eye this morning and I had to flush it. He was so panicked at first it really hurts, I know and wouldn't stop clawing at his eye and trashing.

I yelled at him to let me look and actually felt annoyed that he wasn't letting me look and was going to scratch his eye and really hurt himself.

And then I had to make the poor kid think I was drowning him by shoving his head under the water to flush.

WTF. I suck. I actually felt annoyed with him in the midst of his panic. I was comforting as soon as I started flushing, but why the eff do I react to fear with annoyance? My poor baby boy. He was hurt and thought I was mad.

We talked after and I told him I was sorry and that I would always help and that I was scared and not mad. But my poor, poor boy. Between this and letting him choke yesterday I am pretty sure I suck as a mom.

LadyXaverian

You don't suck. You panicked, and emotions took over. It happens, I promise.

Libby1978

You don't need to be flammed for this.  We all have those moments and no one can make you feel any worse than you are already making yourself feel.  And no one should try either.  Being a parent is some stressful stuff.

Ms5586

Libby1978:

You don't need to be flammed for this.  We all have those moments and no one can make you feel any worse than you are already making yourself feel.  And no one should try either.  Being a parent is some stressful stuff.

Absolutely this.  You don't suck.

NotSharknado

I'm the same way. When I get scared I come off as angry. I feel terrible about it too. I always have to explain that I'm not mad, just scared.

TobleroneBar

I really don't know why in a knee jerk reaction to panic; we think raising our voice is the key to calming the situation.  You're not alone in this reaction. 

Eyes are serious business and any kind of injury would be bad and you want to fix it asap.  When they're flailing around, it's hard to help them...sure, you're going to get annoyed.  BUT you did the right thing, you talked to him about it afterward.  So no, you don't suck.

 

RondackHiker

Thanks guys. I still feel fairly crappy. I hate that i made it harder for him. It wasn't a fun morning. DH is at an interview and so I ended up calling another med school friend who reassured me that since the redness vanished as soon as it came out, the eye was unlikely to be scratched.

Eyes really freak me out. Like, a lot. I have treated some really nasty eye wounds in horses and anytime anyone gets something in their eye, I see those wounds.

TobleroneBar

They freak me out too.  When DD was in 4th grade she was over at a friends house playing and knicked herself in the eye with a stick.  She kept rubbing it and I started yelling at her to stop. (dumb)  The friends mother assured me there was nothing in her eye and that she had checked.  Well, I went to check myself and DD had a piece of bark stuck in her eye.  ER trip and the doc removed it, thankfully no damage...but I was mad at the friend's mother and myself for even taking her word for it.  Thankfully it was a lesson learned without permenant damage.