So, my friend is crazy

lisa5201

I guess this is sort of a vent/share, and it's super long, but if you have advice, great! I kind of wanted to see what other people's take on this was

I have a friend that I met at a lactation class when our LO's were babies. She and I get along well mostly, and so do our kids.

I knew she was a little batty on our first playdate which was at a beautifully manicured local park. I took DD's shoes off (she was just getting the hang of walking) so she could walk barefoot in the grass. My friend, horrified, said "don't you know squirrels and other animals pee and poop in the grass!" It was, literally, one of the most ridiculous things I had ever heard, so I just laughed and said something like "I'll take my chances"

We met at a restaurant with our DH's one night, and her husband threw what amounted to a tantrum (asking to speak to management) when the highchairs didn't have functioning safety straps, The kids were too young at that age to be climbing, and we were sitting right next to them. It didn't affect the functionality of the highchair , but he kept saying, dead seriously, "they put the straps in there for a reason, you just never know" DH and I just kept sharing glances and tried not to laugh.

I wasn't around for this one, but my friend relayed to me how they had a scare over one weekend when her LO picked up another kids juicebox by mistake and drank out of it. Apparently her DH immediately called the pediatrician to see if their son should be brought in to be tested for anything that might have been lurking in the other kids saliva. 

She won't take books out of the library for her or her DS because "they might have boogers on them or someone might have taken them into the bathroom"

Her DS isn't allowed to play at our local (super nice) splash park, nor is he allowed in public pools because kids may have pee'd in the water. 

She wants to delay potting training for as long as possible so that she doesn't have to bring her son into public restrooms

I tell her that I think she is crazy and I laugh when she tells me these things. She doesn't try to push her crazy on me, and seems fine with the fact that I am pretty much completely the opposite. DH will ask me what kind of crazy she is up to and I'll tell him and we'll have a little laugh. I'm sure she and her DH might shake their heads privately at our expense because we let DD splash in puddles and drink from water fountains. No biggie, but....

I think her crazy is getting to a whole new level. We met the other day and I ran into another friend who has two school age kids. Since I know my friend had been thinking about school for her DS I mentioned she might want to look into that school

She promptly started peppering my other friend with crazycake questions like:

"Aren't you scared to death someone is going to kidnap your kids from school?" "How do you know other kids aren't stealing things from your kid's lunchboxes?"

"How can you be sure they are not getting molested by a teacher or older student?"

"Do you ever just drop by the school unannounced to  make sure everything is on the up and up?"

My friend fielded the questions, but was clearly thinking what I was (cuckoo-cuckoo!) I tried to change the subject onto what the kids did over the weekend

My friend with the school age kids told us her (9 year old) DD just had her first sleep-over. Oh boy. My crazy friend went on a tangent about how her DS would never sleep over anyone's house ever because even if you know the parents they could have some uncle that was just released from jail staying at the house, or a creepy neighbor might stop by and molest the kids and how you just never really know what people are capable of.

Um, what?

So.... I guess I just wanted to share this and see if anybody else had experiences with friends like this. As her DS gets older it seems to be getting worse. I don't think she is mentally ill, she just has a strong crazy-support group. Her DH is more paranoid than she is, and her mom (from what I hear) is just as bananas (her mom helpfully suggested via my friend that I ALWAYS make DD wear shoes because a drug addict could drop a syringe anywhere!)

Or maybe I'm the crazy one and you don't let your kids walk barefoot or touch leaves (because you don't know where they've been!).  I was raised a little hippie and I have the same "dirt don't hurt" philosophy

 

Ago

That woman is fostering some sort of anxiety/paranoia disorder in her kids, probably because she has one herself.  Or those kids are really going to revolt someday.  The focus on thinking everyone is a child molester makes me wonder if she was molested herself by someone she trusted...

lisa5201

I agree completely that her child molester comments might be a clue that she was abused, not my business unless she wants to share, but I guess that might explain it. I think she's crazy paranoid, but the problem is that her DH and her mother are not only validating her, but encouraging the crazy and adding new layers to it. Ugh

Shayna0182

Talk about making your child afraid of the world.  Your friend and her dh are nuts.

groovygrl

Pretty sure she has a diagnosable mental health disorder and probably realizes it... I know it is hard but you might want to ask her if she has ever seen a therapist for some of her anxieties. Sounds like she married someone like her Andy probably enable each other.

Ipad not letting me edit ugh. Andy= and they.  Ithe abuse thing could be on target but who knows, I think you would be a good friend to encourage her to seek help, she might know she needs it and needs a little push. GL. 

Alex17

Yeah, she needs help. I wouldn't be able to hang out wither. 

AmericanInOz

I have friends like that - who are uber paranoid

I think you just have to take it as it is - and know they probably have some reason for being like that

but gosh I agree with you - you have to let your kids get a little dirty and 'walk in the grass' - if we worry about possible negative outcome we'd never do anything!!