***Loss Check-In***

Mrs Nice

Hello Ladies,Welcome to our Thursday Check-In! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays?Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

lolee465

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not really, we had a consultation with a MFM doctor. It was really hard to be there with all the pregnant women in the waiting room. When we got home DH told me how proud he was of me for not breaking down while talking to the doctor. It's the first time I've talked about everything without completely losing it. I thought it was really sweet of DH to point out that he's proud of me. I hate when people call me stong, but for some reason I'm really happy he thinks I'm getting stronger.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? We're going to start TTCAL this month. We're both really scared, but excited to have something to look forward to.

QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays? We haven't really decided. We've been talking about maybe skipping the holidays this year completely. It will be a really hard time of the year for us.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I've been thinking a lot about TTCAL. I'm sad that I can never be the naive and happy pregnant girl again. I'm just really scared..but I'm very hopeful.

OSUWifey09

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I made it through our first major holiday without any major breakdowns. And I made it through my dermatologist appointment on Tuesday without tears - last time I saw him, I was barely out of my first trimester, so he had no clue what happened. Didn't help that his assistant was pregnant, too...I made it to my car and out the parking lot before I started crying. I'm proud that I can make it out of emotional situations and hold it together.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? We have to wait 90 days to try again [i had an MMR shot before I was released from the hospital] - and those 90 days are up this month, so when H goes on leave in December, we're going to start TTCAL. To say I'm nervous and scared about it is an understatement. I'm using this month to start getting prepared mentally [therapist appointments] and physically [back on prenatals, getting back in shape].

QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays? We got an ornament with Devon's name on it from some Nestie friends that we'll put on the tree, and I hope our Molly Bear is here by the holidays so we can include that in our pictures. I also plan on adopting a Salvation Army angel and using the money I would've spent on Devon's first Christmas towards making someone else's Christmas brighter.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm another who's got TTCAL on my mind a lot. I'm even having dreams about it. I need to step back and really be sure I'm ready for this journey before we really start.

EDIT: I'm also nervous about what people will think when they find out we're either TTCAL or pregnant. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I do. I wonder if they'll whisper about how I'm trying again too soon, or if they'll wonder why it's taking so long if it takes us awhile to get pregnant again...

achbaby3

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

My EDD for the boys was in Feb. I have decided today to fly back home to Cali from WI in Feb with my children. I need to look forward to something good happening in Feb.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays?

I have started to look for a memorial Christmas ornament for the babies. I love Christmas and I want them to be apart of it.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

This week was the two month mark for me and I had a hard time still feeling like it had just happened. I realized that it did just happen just everyone else in my life has all ready moved on. It is going to take me a long time before I feel in the same place as everyone else. 

Sweet&Salty11

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I really opened up in my loss support group. Our topic this week was anger and, apparently, I have A LOT of things I am angry about. I shared everything without worrying about how it would make me look. It was liberating.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I'm just continuing to work through the anger and sadness. Just using the same old techniques - husband, friends, support group and this board. 

QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays? We'll buy a special ornament for Kai. That will become a yearly tradition. We'll also put a small tree at his grave so he can enjoy the holidays too.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm going back to work next week and am stressed out about it. I went in today for a visit and only teared up a couple times. I hope it goes well.

Sweet&Salty11

OSUWifey - I'm with you on being nervous about what people will think when they find out we want to have another child. I lost track of how many people have told us to "not rush into having another baby" or to "take your time". Always unsolicited advice, of course. I guess some people think this has somehow become a group decision?! Anyhow, I hope you don't have to deal with any whispers AND I certainly hope you don't have to be in TTCAL status for long.

karebear57

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?I've been ok so far. Halloween was a little sad at times b/c I should have had a 9 month old to push around and seeing lots of strollers with babies didn't help things. 
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?Gotta get thru the holidays, they're creeping up fast.
QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays?I'm gonna get her an ornament every yr (hopefully) and I would like to donate a gift for a lil girl that would be her age each Christmas.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Beat this sinus problem! I'm finally making headway, and it only took a couple months!

Bayberry12

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Not really.  Or at least not that I can really notice.  Although, with every week the crying and desperate sadness is getting less and less.  

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Nothing set in stone, just still taking things as they come.

QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays? 

I am struggling with this.  I don't even have the desire to decorate or put up a tree this year.  I am sure our families will not do anything because they don't want to "remind" me.  And I really dread going to any holiday events this year.  I wish we could just go on a month long vacation and not deal with anyone else.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? 

The holidays, and possible looking for a part time job or something to keep me busy.

kikibelle

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?Hmm...I made it through a dental cleaning without tears. I was 27 weeks pregnant at my last cleaning, and the hygienist I always have asked about the baby. I ended up telling her a lot about Julian, and I told her that I appreciated her asking.  What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?Get through the holiday season and even enjoy some of it. I plan to do this by focusing on the positives-spending time with loved ones, who all love and remember Julian. QOTW: Are you planning on doing anything to include/honor your angel during the holidays?Not really. I'm sure he will come up at Thanksgiving, because we told our immediate family about my pregnancy over Thanksgiving dinner. A family friend gave us a beautiful white crocheted cross ornament that we will hang on our tree for Julian. Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?TTCAL, like many others here, although I haven't been able to bring myself to actually post on that check-in yet. OSUwifey-I have definitely struggled with the same fears about TTCAL. DH and I have decided to just focus on what feels right for us.