Friend Issue

LoveCoffee

I'm a May 2011 mom under another name just in case I haven't posted in a while..

 I'm putting this out to the internet/bump universe just to get it off my chest.

I have a friend who's LO is around 19 months (My LO is 17 months). In my gut and in my heart it is obvious there is something not right with this child.

I see my friend often and her child but she has said NOTHING to me. She tells me things that her LO does and I know they can't be true ( I witness it).

I have mutual friends on Facebook asking ME what is wrong with her LO and I can't answer because I don't even know. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist but from a guess I would say her LO is either slightly downs or something else. Whatever it is, it is slight, but it's obvious to me and others that he's not your average 19 month old.

It's becoming uncomfortable because I'm not sure if she's in denial, if she knows but is not saying anything to me or what. If I was the only one thinking this I would think I'm crazy but I have several (at least 5) mutual friends discuss it with me.

Of course I would NEVER say anything to her. I guess I just don't know how you can miss something like this. I know it's hard to swallow, but wouldn't you want the best for your child?  

Anyway thanks for listening. I feel real bad and not that I can help but I would be there for her if she needed me.  

 

 

 

 

kelly321

Honestly, only you can judge what sort of relationship you have with your friend and whether it would be appropriate to say anything. I can think of 2 friends/relatives with whom I think I have a close and open enough relationship to bring up something that sensitive.

Does your friend take her LO to all their well-baby appointments? If so, then I think I would not say anything. How exactly do you envision the conversation going? "Excuse me, friend, but I think there's something wrong with your LO." I really just can't imagine it going well, and I don't think it's necessarily your place to tell her you think there's something wrong with her child. Maybe the things she says he can do are things he does at home where he feels comfortable, but not around strangers. 

If you really feel you have to say something, maybe you could do it in a casual conversation if something comes up that's not normal, like "Oh, have you mentioned to your pedi that he's not speaking yet? I know lots of kids start speaking later, but mine said that if LO hadn't started speaking by 18 months that we would run a few tests to rule out hearing problems or other issues." Then you're not being confrontational about it. I don't know, though. I honestly think it would be best to just let it be.