Baby Showers

baby shower on same date (Im i being selfish?)

I have a close friend who is pregnant and we both have showers set on the same date. However, I'm 10 weeks further along than her and I asked her if we can have a joint shower (she said no) or if she can consider moving her date because she's having 2 of them anyway ( I didn't get an answer ). I'm just concerned because we have the same group of friends and they will have to decide who's shower to go to since they are in the same time frame.

 **I asked to move my party date but the hosts said it wouldn't work for them and our friends probably wouldn't make it if I set it later. I couldn't set it earlier because my hosts cannot afford it sooner, our friends wouldn't be home from college yet, and it would of been around the midst of holiday season**

 

Am I being too selfish though? I love her to bits but I really want her to come to mine and for me to go to hers plus all of our friends are in college and I haven't seen them since I graduated. I also think its kind of unfair for our friends to have to choose. Sad

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Re: baby shower on same date (Im i being selfish?)

  • When did you graduate?

     

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • imageEastCoastBride:

    When did you graduate?

     

    This past May. Im a young one :/

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  • I think you are being selfish expecting her to move her shower or have a joint one with you.  You obviously have different people hosting and somewhat different guest lists which makes it impractical to have a joint shower.  The only way a joint shower would make sense is if 1 person offers to host a joint shower for 2 or more people up front and every single person invited is close with each MTB.  

    It is just a baby shower, some of your friends won't be able to make it, it is not the end of the world.  

    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • imageAllycat11:

    I think you are being selfish expecting her to move her shower or have a joint one with you.  You obviously have different people hosting and somewhat different guest lists which makes it impractical to have a joint shower.  The only way a joint shower would make sense is if 1 person offers to host a joint shower for 2 or more people up front and every single person invited is close with each MTB.  

    It is just a baby shower, some of your friends won't be able to make it, it is not the end of the world.  

    Your right. I just thought it would be nice to see them.

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  • imageImaniJ55:
    imageAllycat11:

    I think you are being selfish expecting her to move her shower or have a joint one with you.  You obviously have different people hosting and somewhat different guest lists which makes it impractical to have a joint shower.  The only way a joint shower would make sense is if 1 person offers to host a joint shower for 2 or more people up front and every single person invited is close with each MTB.  

    It is just a baby shower, some of your friends won't be able to make it, it is not the end of the world.  

    Your right. I just thought it would be nice to see them.

    If you want to see them, call them up and arrange a time to get together.  

    11/2010 Diagnosed with PCOS 
    10/31/11 M/C at 9 weeks
    1/12/13 DD was born
    4/9/16 DS was born 
    9/17 CP 
    6/23/18 BFP EDD 3/4/19 

  • Sounds like she had the date first, so there isn't much you can do...just be okay with the fact that you'll have smaller attendance.  It isn't really unfair to your friends, but if it is, you can always cancel yours.  Or not invite your friends so that they don't have a conflict (just make it family).

    And a joint shower is usually a bad idea anyway.  She's right on that one. 

  • imageAllycat11:

    I think you are being selfish expecting her to move her shower or have a joint one with you.  You obviously have different people hosting and somewhat different guest lists which makes it impractical to have a joint shower.  The only way a joint shower would make sense is if 1 person offers to host a joint shower for 2 or more people up front and every single person invited is close with each MTB.  

    It is just a baby shower, some of your friends won't be able to make it, it is not the end of the world.  

    I agree with this...except I don't think your selfish for wanting your friends to attend both showers and for you to go to her shower and her to come to your shower.  Is there a way you could have your shower early in the day (brunch) or later (evening)...basically have it at a different time then her shower?  That way people might be able to make it to both (including the two of you).  I would go to both showers if they were at different times...especially if I had an hour or so between the two.

  • imagerhubarb123:
    imageAllycat11:

    I think you are being selfish expecting her to move her shower or have a joint one with you.  You obviously have different people hosting and somewhat different guest lists which makes it impractical to have a joint shower.  The only way a joint shower would make sense is if 1 person offers to host a joint shower for 2 or more people up front and every single person invited is close with each MTB.  

    It is just a baby shower, some of your friends won't be able to make it, it is not the end of the world.  

    I agree with this...except I don't think your selfish for wanting your friends to attend both showers and for you to go to her shower and her to come to your shower.  Is there a way you could have your shower early in the day (brunch) or later (evening)...basically have it at a different time then her shower?  That way people might be able to make it to both (including the two of you).  I would go to both showers if they were at different times...especially if I had an hour or so between the two.

    Thats a good idea. Im sure me and her would agree to this.

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  • I dont think youre being selfish at all. And even if someone else thought you were, youre entitled. After all, it is your baby shower. You did what you could to take your friend into consideration and thats all you can do since someone else is hosting for you. Let your friends decide who's shower theyre attending, stop worrying about it, and enjoy being pregnant. Its small stuff that wont matter after your little bundle of joy arrives anyway.
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  • I would just talk to her and try to have the showers at different times.  One from 11-1 or so and the other from 2-4 or so.  That would work, wouldn't it? 
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  • I agree largely w/ rhubarb.  I can't call you selfish that you want your friends there.  It might venture into selfish land to expect and be upset that your friend won't move her shower.  You have your reasons for not moving yours - she may have equally as valid a reason too. 

    I realize you just graduated so it hasn't been THAT long since you've seen your friends, but for the fact that you need a shower to see them makes me kind of question how close you are to these women anyhow.  If no one is making efforts to get together outside of this, why? 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I agree with a lot PP have already said. If neither of you are able to move your showers why not both get together with all of your friends the night of or next day just to catch up? 
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  • imagediscobelle:
    imageEastCoastBride:

    I realize you just graduated so it hasn't been THAT long since you've seen your friends, but for the fact that you need a shower to see them makes me kind of question how close you are to these women anyhow.  If no one is making efforts to get together outside of this, why? 

    This is a good point.

    I've had high school friends who I only hear from when they are having a shower.  It's annoying to me that they don't make the effort to hang out otherwise.   

     

    Majority of my friends are college athletes. I've seen some since I graduated but majority I haven't because they moved out of state for school. I talked to them and tt's kinda hard to call and set up something when they live in NY, KY, NJ, CT, MS etc. And they ALL play basketball so their season starts soon and wont end till March. Im in Illinois. I placed my shower on that date because they will be home on break and the holiday season will be over. I'm not questioning our friendship, I've known them for years.

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  • I don't think you are being selfish at all, and I agree with the others who recommended setting the showers at separate times....a brunch one and an evening/late afternoon one might be nice.

    One thing that struck me is that if you are 10 weeks ahead of her, that makes her 15 weeks and already has a shower date set?  I think THAT is weird.  She has not even had her anatomy scan yet.  Cart before horse if you ask me.

    Anyway, I hope it all works out! 

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


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