Extended BF? — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Extended BF?

Two part question...

DS just hit 12 months and I'm still nursing. My plan was to let him wean on his own, but lately, he seems to want to nurse more frequently. Several times a morning, several times during the night... He's a good solids eater. Normal for 12 months?

Part 2: are there any good resources directed towards fathers? DH is really over BF, and wasn't all that supportive to begin with. I would like to continue until DS is ready. 

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Re: Extended BF?

  • Yes, it is normal. DD's interest has increased and decreased several times over this last year.

    I don't know of any specific sources for Dads, but it always blows my mind when a father is anti breastfeeding. I don't get what there is to be against or how it even really affects the father.  That said, it does help decrease illness-both frequency and duration. When DD is on a picky eating stint I know she's getting all the calories and nutrients she needs. Same goes when she is sick and won't eat. She just nurses more and I know she's getting plenty of fluids and calories. Those are all things any parent should have an interest in.

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  • Yes, it is normal. DD's interest has increased and decreased several times over this last year.

    I don't know of any specific sources for Dads, but it always blows my mind when a father is anti breastfeeding. I don't get what there is to be against or how it even really affects the father.  That said, it does help decrease illness-both frequency and duration. When DD is on a picky eating stint I know she's getting all the calories and nutrients she needs. Same goes when she is sick and won't eat. She just nurses more and I know she's getting plenty of fluids and calories. Those are all things any parent should have an interest in.

    ITA. LO is only 15m but he's had times where he wants to nurse more/less. Sick or molars = lots of nursing. Busy day doing stuff = less nursing. The one (and only) time he's had a fever was at about 13m and he refused to eat all day, just wanted to nurse. It was a great comfort to me that even though I couldn't make him get well immediately he was getting the nutrients/fluids he needed plus any immunity I had for his virus. It also made me feel good that I could do something for him. Even though he normal loves his sippy w/ water he refused it while sick. I would've been very concerned about dehydration if we weren't nursing.

    There are no downsides IMO to BFing past age 1 - he can go all day when I'm at work w/out nursing and still nurses great when I'm home. He rarely even asks to nurse when we're out/about since he's busy looking at stuff and fills up on food/water so I don't even have to deal with potential problems NIP anymore. 

    What is your H concerned about specifically?



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  • Here's the link to the Kellymom page regarding the benefits of nursing past age 1. https://kellymom.com/ages/after12mo/ebf-refs/

    Perhaps you can reference that material depending on what your H's concerns are when discussing why it's best to continue.



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  • We're in the same boat.  My guy is almost 13 months and is more boob crazy now than ever before.  Totally normal.

    But my DH is very pro-breastfeeding, so I can't help you with that one.

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  • Totally normal - 12mo growth spurt and all.  It lasted for quite a while for us.

    Kellymom.com has a lot of stuff on extended breastfeeding.  I'd think he'd rather have you continue - LO will not get as sick or for as long, and that makes everyone happier.

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  • imageBooger+Bear:

    What is your H concerned about specifically?

    He never grew up around it, so it's not natural for him. He thinks the reason DS wakes at night is to nurse and if I quit nursing he would sleep all night. He thinks I "baby" him too much and he won't be tough. He wants access to my breasts instead of only belonging to DS.

    To me, these don't compare to the benefits. 

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  • Hi ya
    I am the same as the other mum's here. My boy is 14mth and still nurses often and a few times at night. Like the others said if he is ill he nurses more and eats less solids but i know he isn't going hungry so happy he still nurses. Inow have to work 2 days a wke which i hate and on those days i express and he is fine but when i am there all ay the other 5 days he nurses frequently.
    Sorry no advice on hubby though x
  • There's a LLL book that I think is called Mothering your nursing toddler that may address the DH issue for you. I can't help there bc mine is very proBFing.

    Kids go through all sorts of phases wrt frequency. Dd didn't really slow down until maybe 2.5? It was only when her brother was born that she stopped asking regularly before naps and bedtime she will be 4 in January
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  • Interest comes and goes. Both of mine tapered off after about 15 months though they would have spurts of wanting to nurse more or less.

    Maybe remind your DH he's not the one nursing, so he doesn't have to be "into it".
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • imagepepomntpat:

    Yes, it is normal. DD's interest has increased and decreased several times over this last year.

    I don't know of any specific sources for Dads, but it always blows my mind when a father is anti breastfeeding. I don't get what there is to be against or how it even really affects the father.  That said, it does help decrease illness-both frequency and duration. When DD is on a picky eating stint I know she's getting all the calories and nutrients she needs. Same goes when she is sick and won't eat. She just nurses more and I know she's getting plenty of fluids and calories. Those are all things any parent should have an interest in.

    #1 - Definitely normal. I think a lot of toddlers want to nurse more during certain developmental peaks.

    #2 - I agree with pepomntpat. DH used to ask if it was almost time to wean DD2. I'm not sure why he cared since it wasn't effecting him at all. She nursed when she was with me and was find with cow's milk or water if I was gone. DD2 is pretty much weaned now (since my milk is gone), and DH didn't even realize it until I told him.

    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • Your hubby sounds a lot like mine :) he has the same reasoning at least. I nursed until DS was 26m and only quit b/c I'm pregnant again and it became too uncomfortable.  At 2y I started cutting out nursings, and was down to 1x a day, just before nap, before finally weaning. He would nurse any time I allowed it, though, and gave up daytime naps as soon as he was weaned.  I knew it was best for DS and did all the research I could to have a ready defense for my husband (and many other meddlers.) DS did finally start sleeping through the night only days after he was night weaned (around 24m) but he's all boy- tough little guy all around. Oh, and fancy underthings helped remind hubby that they were still his, too ;)
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  • imageldcoffel:
    imageBooger+Bear:
    . 

    What is your H concerned about specifically?



    He never grew up around it, so it's not natural for him. He thinks the reason DS wakes at night is to nurse and if I quit nursing he would sleep all night. He thinks I "baby" him too much and he won't be tough. He wants access to my breasts instead of only belonging to DS.

    To me, these don't compare to the benefits. 


    I night weaned at 26 and 25 months. DD1 started STTN at 5 years. DD2 still wakes a few times a night at 27 months. Night weaning didn't make a bit of difference for us.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
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