PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday

Two*True

Since no one started it, I will.  What's going on ladies?  Anyone have a QOTD?

JGY

Just chugging along here ... 21 weeks tomorrow.  We are finally inching forward again with the home remodel project, this week the floors are being refinished and we got the French Doors hung last night that go between our bedroom and the baby's room.

Hmmm ... here's a proposal for QOTD: For those of you with kids, what do they call you?  And your partner?  Why?  How was it determined?  And for those that are TTC, have you thought about this and what are your thoughts on it?

 

madisonpeas

We are good. E had a really good 15 month visit yesterday.  I am sure he did not like the shots, yet it was great to check in about some of our questions and hear that he is doing fine on milestones.

 We are Mama (DW) and Baba (me).  We wanted something for me that was not so mama, different from DW, sort of androgynous, etc.  It has female and male associations in other languages. 

2brides

I am hoping that this going back to normal in our house. On Sunday and Monday they boys were a PITA. I am going to assume it was from anxiety/stress from the storm, but oh man, were they annoying.

QOTD: We started off, by interchanging mom/mommy and figuring they would decide what to call us. Around 2y, they started calling L "other mom" which she did not like at all. LOL. So, we started going by mom (her) and mommy (me) - L wanted to be Mom and I didn't care. Most of the time, they yell out Mom if they don't care who answers and if they do, they specify. If L isn't around, they call me mom. I will answer to most anything.

It is funny that this is the thing that a lot of prospective parents and straight friends get worked up/worried about (not saying you are, but we got the question a lot when we were TTC!) and it really has been a non-issue. The funniest thing is when I am talking to the kids about mom (ie. "We will have to ask Mom when we get home" or "Mom is going to pick you up.") then people assume I am the nanny/aunt/friend.

madisonpeas

2brides, your post made me think about how I feel when I say - "go to mama" or "do you want to tell mama about it?"  in front of other people who don't know us. I wonder if people think I am just the helper friend person, too. It's not bothersome; I just wonder.

Two*True

madisonpeas:

2brides, your post made me think about how I feel when I say - "go to mama" or "do you want to tell mama about it?"  in front of other people who don't know us. I wonder if people think I am just the helper friend person, too. It's not bothersome; I just wonder.

Yup, same here.  I just assume that some people make the assumption that I'm the babysitter.

 

2mommiesinoh

Ky is being two. She talks ALL OF THE TIME. Seriously talks herslef to sleep and talks first thing in the am when she wakes up. For those of you who met her I am sure you are wondering if I am talking about the same child... I promise I am. Had she been around you a bit longer you would have heard all about everything.

Things between A and I are...odd. I am really not sure how else to put it. She thinks that because I can carry on a  conversation we are friends and I am over everything that happened...um no. One moment she is owning up to the issue, the next she is back to blaming it all on me. Just when we are making progress it all seems to back step. *sigh* So for now we continue with the supervised visits and wait it out.

QOTD: Ky started out calling every adult except me dada. Then it became A was dada and I was still nothing. Eventually she started calling me mama and that is what we became. She still calls A dada and I am slowly becoming mommy more often than mama. We never really made a decision (we had planned on mom for A and mommy for me) before she started using the term dada so we just went with it.

 

ball.and.chain

Egg retrieval is tomorrow! I had 19 follies at my monitoring appointment yesterday and triggered last night. O. M. G. !!!

QOTD: We've talked about this a bit but haven't settled on anything yet.

JGY

2brides:

It is funny that this is the thing that a lot of prospective parents and straight friends get worked up/worried about (not saying you are, but we got the question a lot when we were TTC!) and it really has been a non-issue. The funniest thing is when I am talking to the kids about mom (ie. "We will have to ask Mom when we get home" or "Mom is going to pick you up.") then people assume I am the nanny/aunt/friend.

Really I threw this out there today because I have a lot of people that ask ME this question, or ask my friends how they "Decided."  I guess I've always kind of figured that the kid would likely lead the way on this.  I have no particular visions of what it should look like.  I'm assuming it will be a non-issue and if we need to step in and encourage something specific we will figure it out at that point. 

It's always really interesting (and reassuring) to see the different paths that all of the totally normal parents on this board have taken when it comes to these types of things.  Soooo many ways to do things, all of which are just fine. 

2moms2b

We start every two week appointments this week with growth scans every 4 weeks.  Then after our next growth scan we will be at growth scans every appointment.  I don't know why but hearing this made it very real that in about 2.5 months we could be meeting our boys.  We have an appointment tomorrow as my doctor wants to see me before we travel out of town for our baby shower and he wants to provide me with a medical form with my information just in case to take with us. 

QOTD - This was a huge discussion for us when we first started ttc. I have always felt as M should get first "dibs" at a name for our kids to call her as she is not the bio mom.  This comes from me understanding that it is very hard for her as she worries constantly they will not be seen as her kids.  I now refer to the boys as her boys.  She decided she wants to me momma as that is what she still calls her mom today so I will probably be mom.  We have decided to let the boys take the lead here but when referring to each other these are the names we will use around them.  I am pretty sure it will all work itself out and I know I make a bigger deal of it in my head than it will actually be. 

nmartin1108

ball.and.chain:

Egg retrieval is tomorrow! I had 19 follies at my monitoring appointment yesterday and triggered last night. O. M. G. !!!

QOTD: We've talked about this a bit but haven't settled on anything yet.

Holy Hannah!!! That super exciting! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, please update us and let us know how it goes!

ball.and.chain

nmartin1108:

ball.and.chain:

Egg retrieval is tomorrow! I had 19 follies at my monitoring appointment yesterday and triggered last night. O. M. G. !!! QOTD: We've talked about this a bit but haven't settled on anything yet.

Holy Hannah!!! That super exciting! I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, please update us and let us know how it goes!

Thank you!  I will.

nmartin1108

Our surro is now 17 weeks pregnant, time is flying! We are going out there for the next midwife appointment and the gender scan. I think we'll all be floored if the baby isn't a girl!
Our fd's who have been with us for 4 months are going to be going home in the next couple of months as long as their mom continues on the path she's on. They've moved to full day visits on the weekends and starting next weekend might even have overnight visits. We're happy for them. We aren't happy with their behavior since they found out they will be going home soon. They have decided they don't really care what our rules are, they don't care because they're going home soon anyway. It's been challenging.
Baby R is such a sweet baby. His mom had a court appearance on Monday that DH went to. She expected to get him back, but instead they just scheduled the court date for her neglect case. We will likely have him until at least the end of January....but I wouldn't complain if he stayed a lot longer than that :

QOTD: we didn't have a huge dilemma about what we wanted to be called. DH wants to be called Poppy and I am Momma.

JoySeattle

PCP: Last week of the last cycle.

QOTD: I'll be Momma and C will be Mommy. She picked and I call my mom Momma/Mom, so it feels right. 

Momof2Boys21

QOTD- we took FOREVER to decide what to have the twins call us. I'm not the bio mom, and I have this hang up about not being called "mom" or "mommy". I can't explain it- just a defense mechanism and paranoia about not being seen as the true 2nd parent even though I am, legally too. I don't know if we ever REALLY decided now that I think about it. We were going to let them decide when they were old enough to talk. However, I would over hear my partner saying, "Your other mommy will get your socks for you" and so on. That made me CRINGE! So, yes, we need to make the final decision because "other mommy" is worse than anything I could think of. And we realize now, that it is part of their development to start calling parents by their "name". I'm not help and this isn't interesting at all, is it?

As for what happens in public- this is such a tricky subject. I agree with being confident, strong and proud. HOWEVER, in mixed company or among people who seem EXTREMELY confused- I never quite know what to say. It's esp difficult when people tell my partner, "Oh they look JUST like you!" or "This one looks so different from that one, does he look like dad?" or the worst, "It's so nice to have someone with you to lend a helping hand!" How do others deal with this? I usually just nod and smile and sheepishly walk away.