Bedtime Rant! Assistance please!!!!

carmenlarue

Ladies, Ive had it! My Dd has been a complete PITA since we announced the new baby. Over the last 3 months, she has not slept a complete nights sleep but maybe 3 times. She says she can't sleep in her room alone anymore, her butt hurts, she has a tummy ache or her butt hurts. We resolved the butt aching but I think she uses it to get attention. She only gets a butt ache at Bed time. Her bed time is 8pm. She has been having a complete melt down about bedtime! Seriously she's going to bed like at 10 or 10;30 if I don't let her come to our bed. Im so exhausted I can't argue and battle with her. I have tried to rock her back to sleep when she wakes at 2am, but now she wants to only go back to sleep in our bed! And that is an automatic conk out.

I talked with her Pedi, he says stick with it... %$%#($ She can't be getting enough sleep going to bed at 10 or so and waking at 6am to leave for the day. Hell Im nodding at my desk, (thank god I sit in the back corner). DS2 is due late January, I need to get a grip on something before I lose my mind with 2 kids. Oh and I have been looking for a twin bed instead of a toddler one to see if that helps if maybe we can lay down with her if needed. I need help ladies,She got up this morning at 2:30 and argued about sleeping in our bed for 25 minutes until I gave in. I cried from 3 until 4 because Im EXHAUSTED of DOING THIS! Please help me!  thanks for letting me vent to you. 

Angela814

How old is she? It sounds like she's just trying to figure out where she's going to fit in with the new baby coming. She may need some extra reassurance for a while.

The only thing I can recommend is making sure you have a consistent bedtime routine and make sure she gets enough exercise throughout the day so she's tired at bedtime.

My 2 yo doesn't STTN, but that's normal for her. She comes into our bed after she first wakes up and sleeps the rest of the night there. We all get enough sleep that way. This has been our routine since she was born though.

Leap08

We had a different bedtime issue, but maybe what worked for us would work for you. Basically, we just wanted our daughter to stay in bed at bedtime - she was getting up 5-6 times over an hour. What finally worked was sticker sheets. I printed a sticker sheet with Disney Princesses on it (she's really into princesses) and  told her if she stayed in bed at bedtime, she'd get a princess sticker for the sheet in the morning. When she had 5 stickers on her sheet, she'd get a princess toy. She really wanted that princess and managed to get 5 stickers in 6 days. For the second sheet she had to get 10 stickers in a row to get her princess toy. After that, I told her she had to get a sticker for every square on the chart (a whole month) to get a princess. We went away for a weekend, and when we came home she just seemed to forget about it. She's still staying in her room at bedtime, and she no longer asks for a sticker in the morning.  Good luck! 

carmenlarue

hocus:

What does your DH think? Why isn't he involved?

At any rate I'd stop arguing.

Over the weekend I'd consider doing the super nanny thing of taking them back over and over again.

Gate your door or gate her door and stop letting her make the choice to come into your room and sleep in your bed. If she doesn't want to go to bed at 8:00 then she can do what she wants in her room all she wants.

love this one, but she won't stay in her room alone! My DH is participating as well, but she wan'ts no part of having to stay in her room alone. I would LOVE to just let her do whatever but she continues to ask that we stay in the room with her. She is 3 and I have offered books, videos, dolls etc. i stopped videos because it's just stimulating, but she wants someone in there with her!  She cannot leave her room that why she yells. for an hour or more if I can take it. We have the safety knobs on.   

74dragonfly

I'm so sorry for your struggles. I'd work to solve the problems one at a time. First the stay in room. I'd try the tot clock. It worked wonders for us. I'd try stickers too. Also maybe try taking stuff away from her if she doesn't stay in her room. Right now she knows if she protests you give in. I would tell her no more sleeping with us. And take her back to bed every time.

KatFCo

Is there some reason you don't want her in your bed? We had this problem with DD when she was 3 and this spring before the baby came, so I'd guess it's both the age and the baby.

This spring I started making a deal with DD. She could sleep in our bed for a certain amount of time--like until we went to  bed of when DH (who works late) got home. Then we moved her to her room. I realized with all the upheval in her life, she needed the closeness.

When she was 3,  we developed a routine where I would sit with her in the dark for a set amount of time (she had a digital clock). If she stayed awake after a certain amount of time, she lost privileges for the next day or had to stay in bed later.

This took some time. At first I would sit until she was asleep and she knew she had to be asleep by a set time. During this time, the lights were out and we did not talk. If she talked or got up, she got a warning then I left. After a while of that, I would leave when she was almost asleep. Then I would set a time when I would leave.

Good luck and hang in there! You can do it.

rsd12

We went through this phase with our kids between 2 to 3. Is she still napping? For my youngest it was because he was wide awake. For my oldest it was just to torture us! We would just bring him back to his room every time. It was somewhat short lived... just a coule of weeks. My middle son had always joined us in the middle of the night, and we just did not have the energy to fight it. If she is feeling nervous about the baby coming just reassure her what a great big sister she is going to be and remind her what a big girl she is. Hopefully it is just a phase!

mrsseguin

We've had many sleep issues with DS.  It got to a point where he was going to sleep in our bed and staying there all night.  I was also pregnant at the time with DD and it was horrible.  I feel your pain!  We ditched the toddler bed and got a twin bed with a rail.  We worked it up and got him really excited about his 'big boy bed'.  We set it up and from that night on we said 100% no going to sleep in our bed.  When it was bedtime, we'd go to his room.  If he woke up at night, we did allow him to come in our bed, I wasn't up for the 2am battles.  Within a few nights he was STTN.  I think the bed made a difference for us.  We also lay with him until he falls asleep...we just do what we gotta do and pick our battles ya know?  It is 1000 times better.

 Some advice for when #2 comes along.  We were much different with DD than DS.  DD was in her crib from day 1, we always let DS sleep with us.  We never DD unless she was screaming, with DS we got him anytime he fussed.  We put DD to sleep awake in her room and walked out, with DS we would rock him to sleep then try to lay him down.  DD is an AMAZING sleeper.  When it's bedtime, we put her in her room and she goes to sleep.  I couldn't ask for a better sleeper.  Hope you find a solution soon, it's tough being pregnant and dealing with these issues.

 

rsd12

mrsseguin:

We've had many sleep issues with DS.nbsp; It got to a point where he was going to sleep in our bed and staying there all night.nbsp; I was also pregnant at the time with DD and it was horrible.nbsp; I feel your pain!nbsp; We ditched the toddler bed and got a twin bed with a rail.nbsp; We worked it up and got him really excited about his 'big boy bed'.nbsp; We set it up and from that night on we said 100 no going to sleep in our bed.nbsp; When it was bedtime, we'd go to his room.nbsp; If he woke up at night, we did allow him to come in our bed, I wasn't up for the 2am battles.nbsp; Within a few nights he was STTN.nbsp; I think the bed made a difference for us.nbsp; We also lay with him until he falls asleep...we just do what we gotta do and pick our battles ya know?nbsp; It is 1000 times better.nbsp;Some advice for when 2 comes along.nbsp; We were much different with DD than DS.nbsp; DD was in her crib from day 1, we always let DS sleep with us.nbsp; We never DD unless she was screaming, with DS we got him anytime he fussed.nbsp; We put DD to sleep awake in her room and walked out, with DS we would rock him to sleep then try to lay him down.nbsp; DD is an AMAZING sleeper.nbsp; When it's bedtime, we put her in her room and she goes to sleep.nbsp; I couldn't ask for a better sleeper.nbsp; Hope you find a solution soon, it's tough being pregnant and dealing with these issues.nbsp;

We coslept with all three of our boys. Actually the youngest for the longest period too, my middle son is the only one that joins us. My oldest and youngest have never slept in our bed since they were infats. Sometimes it is just personality!