So now what? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

So now what?

I had my 2nd u/s at the RE's today at 8w4d.  He couldn't find a heartbeat and based on the measurements said it probably stopped beating at 8w 0d. I've been on progesterone supplements so they said that's probably why I haven't passed anything yet.  I'm to go off the supplements and if nothing happens within a week I should call and there's a pill they'll give me in the office and if that doesn't help then a d&c.

I think I was in too much shock to ask any questions.  I know I can call, but if you guys have a FAQ section you can point me to or can just answer some questions, well, I'd appreciate it.

Is there anything I need to watch out for as far as what's "normal" and what I need to go to the dr. for? Do I need to go back in when it's done to get checked out?

What do I do with the baby? I realize at this point it is only the size of a raspberry - will I even know if I've passed it? 

Do I go to work or stay home?  No one knows we were expecting.  I'm not close with my boss but know he'd be understanding if I told him - but if I'm out people are going to wonder what's up.  I have no idea how this works - if it happens fast, if it's days...ugh.

I'll be scrolling through to read other responses but wanted to put this out there if anyone has time for feedback. TIA

*Siggy Warning*

About me  2007: Started TTC. 2008: OB prescribed clomid, went to RE and was Dx with PCOS. 2009: IUI #1 w/follitsim and trigger = BFP. B/G Twins born at 33 weeks. 2012: TTC #3, Round 2 of Letrozole w/TI = BFP, missed m/c at 8 1/2 wks. Currently on the bench as we make plans for a new home. Anxious to start TTC #3 within the next year!

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Re: So now what?

  • I found this link helpful:

     http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy-loss-miscarriage/DS01105

    I would definitely take some time off work, just for the emotional part of it if nothing else. I had a d&c, so I took the whole day off to recover physically as well, but I found that I need more time to process the emotions than anything. 

    Heck, I am still very much processing, and I have backed out of some commitments and meetings because of it.

    Play it by ear and be gentle with yourself. Give yourself the time you need. 

    So sorry for your loss. {{HUGS}}

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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    January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
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  • I am so sorry for your loss and for all you are going through right now.

    For my first loss we decided to wait and try to miscarry naturally.  We waited almost two weeks and when I look back on it I can't believe we waited.  I spent the whole time worried that I wold have a miscarriage in the toilet at work or while I was traveling or in court.  It really sucks to just wait around for it to happen on its own because you don't know when it will occur.  If you want to opt to do it the natural way I think that is great.  If you think it will drive you crazy I think its safe to ask your doctor to either give you the drug that induces the m/c or to get a d/c.

    Ultimately we used the cytotec.  I had a lot of side effects and it was painful but everyone's reaction is different.  I was about 6w at the time and I wasn't able to tell what was what when things started coming out.  I just sat on the toilet until the worst was over and then wore pads for several weeks. Fortunately with the medicine we could time it to when it was most convenient for us and I took it on a Friday night so we had the whole weekend to deal with it. If you opt for this route I would ask your doctor about pain medication options.  If you end up needing pain meds you will be glad you have them!

    If you choose to wait I would wear some old granny panties, carry some thick pads and OTC pain meds with you where ever you go.  Good luck.

     

    IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.
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  • Oh and I think they say if you soak more than one pad per hour call the doctor and if you pass clots the size of a quarter or larger you should call as well.  

     

    IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.
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  • So sorry for your loss. ((HUGS))

    me:40; DH:41; 4/30/12 1st visit with RE; 6/30/12 IUI #1 BFN; 7/19/12 IUI cancelled (overmedicated); 8/2/12 IUI cancelled (cyst); 9/1/12 IUI #2 BFP! EDD 5/28/13; 10/9/12 1st U/S at 7w3d--missed m/c (trisomy 16) D&C 10/19/12; karyotyping results normal!; 1/31/13 IUI #3 BFP! EDD 10/25/13 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I'm so sorry for your loss and everything your going through.  I had a missed miscarriage with no bleeding or cramps, so no idea.  I opted for a D&C over waiting for a natural miscarriage.  I couldn't handle waiting and the pill was not the right personal option for me.  Talk to your doctor about your options if you feel like you need more answers and clarity.  

     

    Sorry again

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  • With my D&C I'm taking off 2 days from work and just telling people I'm really sick. My boss knows and a few coworkers and they are respecting my privacy and covering for me, and they've been very supportive. 
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. *hugs*

    DD#1 is 3! And LO#2 is on his/her way! Due Feb 26th, 2014.

     

    BFP#1: EDD 5/7/2010 born on 5/20/2010. A little girl named Emily.  

    BFP#2: m/c 10/29/2012 EDD was 6/21/2012 Baby Hope was 6 weeks 3 days. 

    BFP#3: Twin B stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days. Found on 8/10/2014. EDD was 2/26/2014. Twin A is still doing great and due date is 2/26/14. 

     

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