IVF 'Abomination Baby'.....

LaineyPaney

I posted yesterday about holding my tongue....and about someone expressing their opinion that based on their religious views, a child conceived through IVF is an abomination.

Yes, I had someone say this to me. 

She further added that she believes God will make my 'crooked path straight' and that unconventional ways of conception are against God's design. 

...and of course, she was incredibly fertile. 

 

Needless to say, our friendship didn't last long. It helped that she moved.... 

 

Now it's not very nice or Christian-like, but I wanted to say, "Me and my 'abomination baby' will kick your a$$ any day of the week. You name the time & place. But, hey---now's as good a time as any!" 

Did I say that? 

No? 

I pretty much stood there with my jaw hanging open just shocked. Shocked that she had these beliefs and shocked that she would share them with me despite my asking. And I was too stunned to respond. 

 

So, that's the 411 on THAT. 

 

And now for today's horror: 

I was at the grocery store. 

Stranger: You look so beautiful pregnant. 

Me: Thank you!

Stranger: Is it a boy or a girl? 

Me: We don't know yet. We are only 10 weeks along.

Stranger: You're already THAT big and you don't know what it is yet?

 

Again....I didn't respond with some super-perfect snarky come-back. Sometimes I'm just too shocked to say anything right away!

Things I SHOULD have said: 

"So, when are YOU due?"

"You're what....23? How many kids do you have?"...and "How many baby-daddies?"

"F*&% you."

"Wow, you're how old and STILL that stupid?"

Or just start crying on command and wail, "Why would you say that to me!" 

 

People suck. 

They don't think, and they suck. 

ConstanceGoodspeed

That sucks, sorry someone said that to you.

I was an IUI baby. I would love for someone to try to tell me that my life is an abomination!

rebaann

I am so sorry that people suck so much.  {{hugs}}

fabulouspinkmady

Don't you just LOVE unsolicited advice/comments?

Regarding the "Abomination" lady... it's just sad that people have such narrow ways of thinking. It's so easy to judge having never been though IF. I guarantee that if IVF was her only option of conceiving a biological child, she'd be changing her mind pretty dang quick! Besides, it's none of her freaking business anyway, it's your body, your child, your life.

Regarding the grocery store lady, clearly a case of not thinking before speaking... or just being plain rude. You should have gone preggo crazy on her (or both of them) 

(((HUGS)))

kmc84

Wow.....just wow!! I am so sorry you had to list to that b!atch say such aweful things to you! Unreal!  As for the grocery store idiot, if there is a next time, you have full permission to go bat sh!t crazy pregnant lady on them!

lalee73

The nerve of some people will never stop amazing me!  I'm sorry that you have had to deal with this!

Blueyed228

Sadly I have heard of some churches who wont baptise IVF babies due to them being an "abomination".  And I have heard of churches asking parents how they "got" their twins to find out if they are IVF or not.

 Cant wait to cross that bridge, because I have a quick tongue and will have no problem telling a priest to go eff his mother if he ever calls my miracles a god damn abomination.

angela2004

People suck! Plain and simple.

If God did not intend us to concieve through IFV why did he give us the brains and technology to make it happen. Just saying...

 Oh and the large comment.. I've been getting those since I outed myself at work. Everyday someone tells me "How HUGE I look." Seriously??!!!

Lately it's been "So your due any day now right?" UMM..No.. another 6 weeks. "WOW that's one huge baby." Again, SERIOUSLY people??!!

I usually just smile and walk away.

 {{HUGS}}

ancp27

fabulouspinkmady:

Don't you just LOVE unsolicited advice/comments?

Regarding the "Abomination" lady... it's just sad that people have such narrow ways of thinking. It's so easy to judge having never been though IF. I guarantee that if IVF was her only option of conceiving a biological child, she'd be changing her mind pretty dang quick! Besides, it's none of her freaking business anyway, it's your body, your child, your life.

Regarding the grocery store lady, clearly a case of not thinking before speaking... or just being plain rude. You should have gone preggo crazy on her (or both of them) 

(((HUGS)))

I totally agree!  The people that say it's must not me God's will or "just adopt" have clearly never gone through something as heartbreaking as IF.

I'm lucky because my church is very open to any type of ART.  Someone at church once told me that If I had cancer, they would expect a Dr. to treat it, the same goes for IF.  If the technology is there, might as well use it.  What they said stuck with me I guess.

Mrs.AmyDylan

The abomination comment is insane. My priest and his wife have been super supportive of us and our journey. They prayed with us and for us that IVF would be our long awaited answer to prayer.

Even Michelle Dugger did not bag on IVF just stating that it was clearly not something that she has dealt with or thought much about. Had she been in that situation it would have been something to prayerfully consider. 

As for the weird comments, I think every pregnant lady gets them. I got an "is it appropriate to ask how much weight have you put on so far" comment from a middle aged man in a workout that I coach this morning. I wanted to say, "your first instinct was correct, it isn't appropriate to ask". 

Hang in there! At least you ARE pregnant! Maybe you should wear headphones in public? There are some times when I'm tempted to do that so people don't talk to me.   

lily_721

Blueyed228:

Sadly I have heard of some churches who wont baptise IVF babies due to them being an "abomination".  And I have heard of churches asking parents how they "got" their twins to find out if they are IVF or not.

 Cant wait to cross that bridge, because I have a quick tongue and will have no problem telling a priest to go eff his mother if he ever calls my miracles a god damn abomination.

I never thought of this.  We have been planning to have LO baptized at DH's family church.  I'm not Catholic but DH's mom is pretty persuasive and the family priest is super nice and very forgiving .  Wow.  I guess MIL and I are going to have to talk about this and what she thinks. 

Ms H13

Yikes, you've been getting all the crazies it seems!  I would let that tongue loose if you want to - sounds like they've earned it. 

BabyRN2006

Ugh, so sorry you've had to deal with comments like that. I've been pretty lucky so far. But the abomination thing is something I don't think I will be able to handle. One of my best friends is a pretty strict catholic and I haven't told her we did IVF. I probably never will, to be honest, because I am a wuss and I have no idea how she views IVF. I don't want to lose the friendship over this but I know I can't be friends with someone who feels my baby is an abomination. I'm sure it will come up eventually and that makes me really nervous.

Plus, the whole abomination thing doesn't make sense anyway. Jesus wasn't conceived the traditional way either and he's not considered an abomination

MelleTX

Oh hell no! I would like to think I could have come up with something snarky on demand but in truth I probably just would have stood there dumbfounded.

Hell, I am single and did IVF. I should just punch my ticket straight to hell.  Or is it ok to do IVF if you are single? SInce you know, I wasn't whoring around Dallas. : )

Actually, I am Epsicopalian and we seem to be cool with alternative families. It's like being Catholic without all the hate and judgement. (No offense to Catholics - half my family is Catholic)

Dstevens429

WOW keep me out of your area I think I would have flipped, nicely of course lol

Gregermis

unbelievable!  I can see how it would be hard to understand if you're a fertile myrtle, but have some decency and hold your tongue!  Ugh!