Keep Fighting
Okay mommy's to be I hope there is someone out there who can relate to this because I am feeling really alone in this right now.
I am 20 years old, was living in Texas at the time I got pregnant, I went a month before finding out I was pregnant, because of a small period right after I would have conceived. Once I took the test my heart stopped, how could I be pregnant the one thing I have always wanted my whole life is happening at the wrong time with the wrong person. I called the baby's sperm doner (because he doesn't deserve the title of a dad) and told him the news he took it rough and blew up on me told me how I am destroying my life, I won't be a good mom, wont be able to support a child, that I should destroy the child and better my life. But the truth is it was the baby who has saved my life. I decided right there that he was not going to be a part of my life or the baby's life ever, I wont go for child support because I don't want him to even know that the baby was kept. So I took the step and chose to do it on my own. With the support and love of my family I moved back to WA and out of the state that was leading me to my death bed, abusive relationships, drinking, drugs, gangs, I got in deep with really bad people. And I got pregnant by a million dollar lawyer who I want nothing to do with.
So I move back up here to Washington where soon after my family and friends find out I am pregnant and it was a life change for the better. I have been looking for a job ever since then with no luck, so here I am sitting in my house, alone, no job, no car, no close friends, and I have this little gift to support. Scary!! So I am always fighting depression, fighting to have energy, fighting to want to do more.. But I have been blessed with an amazing boyfriend.
Robbie is a long time friend for over 5 years we started talking again last month and we both decided to not see anyone else. We talked everyday for a few weeks a lot of the times for hours on the phone not getting enough of each other, skyping almost every night as well. Always saying sweet things like " I can't wait to marry you" and always telling me how beautiful I am, was sweeter then any man has ever been to me. The problem is he lives down in Cali about a 10 hour drive, he got a new job where he works long hours and now claims to be busy all the time, I don't get sweet texts any more only the occasional "I love you" and I feel like I am always questioning whether or not he still wants this even though when I ask he tells me yes. He knows where I am at in life and he really gets it because he has a 2 year old son so he is very supportive and loving in that way. But lately I feel like I am the only one to but in the effort, I always have to text him or call him and its always short now he doesn't express himself like he use to and I have tried to tell him communication is something I need in my relationship and he says "sorry" but nothing is changing. He says he is faithful and I want to believe him but its so hard because of the distance. I love him and more then anything want to be with this man but the distance scares me because I can't be there to meet his or my needs. My family is here in WA and all the benefits for the baby. I want him to move up here but with his job, bills, and family its not looking like it will happen any time soon. I am willing to do what it takes to be with him and I know the distance will make our relationship stronger in the end but right now I feel so alone, I try to give him space and let him know how much I want him in my life and the love I have for him. But I don't get that back very much:/ and it kills me. He has not done anything to brake the trust or done anything hurtful so I don't see myself leaving him.
Is anyone else trying to build a relationship with someone other then the baby's sperm doner? Or have some good advice about long distance relationships??
Much love mommies 
Re: Keep Fighting
I GET IT. I am 21 years old and pregnant. However my guy is the biological father of the baby. What you are describing here is what me and him were going through. He lives 9 hours away from where I am. However the only advice I can give on long distance relationships is this:
I feel like some of what I have done saved my relationship with the father. The distance is TOUGH and especially tough on the guy. We females tend to be more emotionally invested in relationships with guys. What helped me was I was ALWAYS sweet to my guy. Not too over the top, just very caring and understanding and never pushy. He would also be too "busy" for me and everything you described happened with him and I. What will REALLY save your relationship with this guy is seeing him every once in a while. You NEED to see eachother to freshen improve and strengthen your relationship. Seeing my babies father has been a turning point for the good in our relationship. I know its hard to do but try your best to arrange a visit for a weekend. If things don't go well after that then the relationship wouldnt work to begin with. I am no rookie at long distance relationships. I have had a total of 3. one that lasted 1 year and a half while seperated another for a few months (ended on good terms for good reasons) and I am currently 4 months into one almost. The only thing that ever worked for me was planned visits and the possibility of living closer. You hve to try and figure something out at some point and give him a light at the end of the tunnel. I know its hard but try to figure out something. Odds are if it were anything like my relationship he wont be enthused about your plans to be closer to him until he sees you again. You have to remind him of why he loves you. It worked wonders for me and I sooooo wish you the best. I know my advice kind of sucks but it worked for me. I want you to be as happy as I am!!! Try to work on these things. STARTING with your trip. And I wish you the best of luck
You're not working, living with family so presumably not paying bills? and pregnant by one person while pursuing a relationship with someone who lives hours away.
I do not think you have a good grasp on what is about to happen. This baby will rock your world. Get a job and leave this other guy alone for a long time, frankly you dont even have time for a relationship like that right now, your child needs to come first from the second they are born until the rest of your life.
You have a lot of growing up to do in a very short time. Good luck
I ended up with my dream guy who wasn't my first borns dad. But he was also willing to put forth that same effort that I was putting into it because he truly wanted to be with me.
It's time to move on...any guy who truly likes you WILL put effort into it. No matter how busy he is.
Everyone is entitled to their opinions. But I think if you dont want to give up DO NOT give up. Everyone told me the same things youre most likely hearing with my situation. I did not listen and to be honest I felt like I was foolish for not listening to anybody but if you still have faith in the relationship then TRY!! If i had listened to everybody else I wouldnt be happier than I have ever been. If you feel like there is still a chance try your best girl. When its time to let go you'll know. I honestly feel like it is EASY for people to tell you "just forget about him" and "focus on your baby". Which I agree one hundred percent you should DEFINITELY put your baby first. HOWEVER I have no doubt in my mind that you are putting your baby first. There is NOTHING wrong with having a relationship while youre pregnant. You are only going to get busier when you have your baby. So by all means do what you are doing. Try your hardest, put your health first and try not to stress, but do what YOU feel is right.
There were so many times I wanted to give up on my babies father, I was so hurt and scared. But if it works out like my situation, in the end he will THANK you for having so much faith in him and giving it your all. If its meant to be, he will appreciate your effort. You will NEVER know unless you try. Better to make mistakes then wonder what will happen. good luck sweet girl
Newmommiee91
Thank you so much for your kind words I would love to connect with you farther. It's really nice to have someone who understands. I have so much Love for this person and we have known each other for over 5 years so it's not like I am trying to start a whole new relationship with a random, we know each other and I do have faith in him and in this relationship. There are so many parts I look at and thank god that I have him in my life. I am slowly starting to understand his point of view even though it is hard... But I agree with you that planning on seeing each other once a month or so at least would make our bond so much stronger. I also look at it as if the first few months of the relationship is pure communication and not physical then once we are together it will make our relationship that much stronger.
To the other mom's who responded: Thank you for the time and comments. I just want to let you know My whole pregnancy thus far has been just me and baby and still is. My child will and always does come first that is why I am here and my significant other is still in Cali because we both have priorities at the moment. Like I said in the above he is not a stranger who I am trying to make this work with he is my best friend who I have developed a relationship with over the past 5-6 years. I support myself and this unborn child on my own at the moment not living off my family but I am blessed to have their support.
I am not looking for negative feedback everyone is entailed to their opinion but I ask if what you post is not to relate to me or for support I just ask you keep it politely to yourself thank you.