BF'ing in public story(omg)

Mamapoo

Everyone keeps saying that she could have covered herself and gone to sit in a corner or something away from people.

If you were to have seen this:

with her talking in the middle of the store, would you have looked twice? If you were to see that in a restaurant while she was eating, would you ask her to cover herself/baby? 

 

No.

 

So why does a woman who is choosing a different option that she feels is best for her family have to be secluded to a corner and not be able to carry out her life as she sees fit? 

amberyaknow

Wow! I thought these forums were here to express our opinions... Just because you don't agree with what some one says doesn't mean they need to keep their mouth shut. Obviously every one is going to do what ever the want because they have 50 dozen maybe this or maybe that reasons to justify their actions. I think for most of the modest ladies here its not the act of it at all, as most of us straight up said we plan on or have already breast fed, its going full frontal with complete disreguard for any one else that we have a issue with. Like I think the pic above of the lady on the plane is great, she's taking care of business without having to fully expose herself, seeeee it IS possible.

MamaKitty3

Ok, now that I have stopped laughing.  About the article.  If we were just discussing the body fluids, I would say point made.  The point is it is all natural.  Going to the bathroom makes us all healthier.  Procreating is a beautiful thing and when the seed is given, life is created.  All beautiful and natural. Also, if anyone noticed, the author of the article was very specific to write about each fact by starting her comments with "First world countries".  Well, there are quite a few third world countries that go topless because of cultural reasons and popping teat wouldn't be a second thought.  But that is a cultural thing, not wrong or right.  As a member of a first world country, I have the wherewithal to not frown on this because different strokes for different folks.  They live there, I live here.  Also by the sound of her article, she makes it sound that first world countries are better for rules that make such things illegal.  Sorry, the bushman is going to pee where he travels because that is what his people do.  He doesn't think it is wrong.  Also, I have two children which I have breastfed for nearly two years a piece.  Both intelligent and moralistic.  I breastfed in public and was discreet.  I don't want my boobs on display. What is being said was that women who pull out without disregard..in first world countries...don't make it look like the beautiful thing that BFing is.  The thing is, most wo actually do do it discreetly, cover or not.  Our society does sexualize the breast, it's why so many men flip out when they realize they have to share.  If you would like to let it all hang out when BF'ing, go ahead.  Laws are made so you will not be stopped and that is good. I am just going to cover up because I can.  I equate nosy people staring to someone coming up and touching my bump without permission.  

MouseInLux

She's not showing anything that she wouldn't be showing on a beach. I still BF DD in public sometimes and if she catches me on a non BF friendly day (normal now because of the bump) if you look you will see some of my abdomen, it's normal...deal.

lylahlove

Rynleigh:

mjr12:

Wow.  You must not be a breastfeeding mom.  

I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER seen a breastfeeding mother half-nude while feeding her child.  Lifting a shirt is not half nude.  As I understand it, that mother had her shirt on, just lifted, no?  I don't think that a nursing cover would really "cover" much of a mother without her shirt.  If someone has to look at me, really look at me to see a little bit of my belly (heaven forbid) then THEY are the one with the problem, not me.  

Here's a photo of me breastfeeding, in public, in a PLANE, during takeoff.  I just don't see how that's offensive. I'm more covered than about 80% of the population I was flying to; Las Vegas.  

 

Amusing when people who disagree with another's perspective and then resort to assuming they must not have the same experience to justify their perspective simply because they do not agree. I breastfed both of my girls, I did it in public when necessary, and I was modest, decent, and respectful about it.

Unlike you, I have seen what I can only estimate to be hundreds of women run about with their shirts all but off, breastfeeding as they go about their business, because in Oregon, it is legal for women to breastfeed where ever they happen to be (assuming they aren't trespassing or otherwise breaking the law), and many of them simply do not have any concern over walking about with their shirts around their necks. They often expose their nipples, which is illegal in all other situations not involving a feeding. Something being legal vs illegal does not automatically make something logical or correct.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me, I don't have any delusions that disrespectful people are going to wake up one day and suddenly become respectful just because others complain. But I also don't look at women who are feeding in circumstances as the one in your picture where a baby is being modestly fed in an environment where the best option for everyone is for you to feed where you are, and judge them for it or look down on them for it. Were you posting pictures of yourself with your shirt pulled up over one shoulder, your child hanging at your bosom, in the frozen food section of Walmart, I'd have very little respect for your choice to do so. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Rynleigh, I like you. I think you bring a lot to the board. However, you've stated before how you weren't able to breastfeed your daughters due to events from your childhood. Whatever the truth is, that's fine and great but you're always so negative whenever breastfeeding is discussed.

This is an open forum and you're completely entitled to your opinion, but there are so many first time, and very impressionable mamas here, and being exposed to the idea that them breastfeeding their newborns in public (which is already a hard enough feat in itself) is akin to a guy peeing in public, that's a hard judgment to move past.

If you think that my siggy pic would send the same message if my husband were standing in it, urinating, that's also fine. I just wish we could move past this ridiculous debate.

Rynleigh

lylahlove:

Rynleigh, I like you. I think you bring a lot to the board. However, you've stated before how you weren't able to breastfeed your daughters due to events from your childhood. Whatever the truth is, that's fine and great but you're always so negative whenever breastfeeding is discussed.

This is an open forum and you're completely entitled to your opinion, but there are so many first time, and very impressionable mamas here, and being exposed to the idea that them breastfeeding their newborns in public (which is already a hard enough feat in itself) is akin to a guy peeing in public, that's a hard judgment to move past.

If you think that my siggy pic would send the same message if my husband were standing in it, urinating, that's also fine. I just wish we could move past this ridiculous debate.

I've also stated clearly that I've breastfed using shields (which are small, clear, plastic devices), because I've had to when *out without my pump* - my girls received breastmilk for the first five to six months of their lives, nearly exclusively. I am not negative about breastfeeding. I am vocal against persons who treat it like a holy sacrament that others must show respect for, while not respecting the comforts or needs of others. 

mjr12

Rynleigh:

mjr12:

Wow.  You must not be a breastfeeding mom.  

I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER seen a breastfeeding mother half-nude while feeding her child.  Lifting a shirt is not half nude.  As I understand it, that mother had her shirt on, just lifted, no?  I don't think that a nursing cover would really "cover" much of a mother without her shirt.  If someone has to look at me, really look at me to see a little bit of my belly (heaven forbid) then THEY are the one with the problem, not me.  

Here's a photo of me breastfeeding, in public, in a PLANE, during takeoff.  I just don't see how that's offensive. I'm more covered than about 80% of the population I was flying to; Las Vegas.  

 

Amusing when people who disagree with another's perspective and then resort to assuming they must not have the same experience to justify their perspective simply because they do not agree. I breastfed both of my girls, I did it in public when necessary, and I was modest, decent, and respectful about it.

Unlike you, I have seen what I can only estimate to be hundreds of women run about with their shirts all but off, breastfeeding as they go about their business, because in Oregon, it is legal for women to breastfeed where ever they happen to be (assuming they aren't trespassing or otherwise breaking the law), and many of them simply do not have any concern over walking about with their shirts around their necks. They often expose their nipples, which is illegal in all other situations not involving a feeding. Something being legal vs illegal does not automatically make something logical or correct.

I don't expect everyone to agree with me, I don't have any delusions that disrespectful people are going to wake up one day and suddenly become respectful just because others complain. But I also don't look at women who are feeding in circumstances as the one in your picture where a baby is being modestly fed in an environment where the best option for everyone is for you to feed where you are, and judge them for it or look down on them for it. Were you posting pictures of yourself with your shirt pulled up over one shoulder, your child hanging at your bosom, in the frozen food section of Walmart, I'd have very little respect for your choice to do so. Nothing more, nothing less. 

I actually edited my post.  But I do find it hard to believe that you were an exclusive breastfeeder based on your opinions.  They are boobs. Not weapons of mass destruction.  As I stated before, if YOU have a problem with breastfeeding, it is YOUR problem.  You have no idea what situation a mother is in.  Instead of being judgmental, perhaps you could simply tell a mom "Thank you for nursing in public".  Again, I also find it hard to believe that a mother is walking around topless, without a bra in a department store in order to breastfeed.  Ever.  Lifting a shirt to feed a baby is not "half nude".  If so, you must have never seen a beach or pool in the US. From the original post, it sounds like the mother had her shirt PULLED up, not off. And, you never responded to my points.   Quite frankly, I could care less about your respect for my choices, they are mine.  Just as any mother.  I adamantly disagree with your opinion, because I feel that people like you perpetuate the cultural stigma with breastfeeding.  Choosing to breastfeed is not always a walk in the park, it takes time and effort. 

wifeofadam

Rynleigh:

I am vocal against persons who treat it like a holy sacrament that others must show respect for, while not respecting the comforts or needs of others. 

I am not a lactivist by any stretch of the word.  You won't see me in nurse-ins or whipping my boob out in public, but I have had babies who wouldn't nurse with a cover.  I am discrete when I nurse, but I understand other mothers aren't so lucky or like I posted before - there are circumstances we may not be aware of that could have prevented a mother from being able to nurse discretely in any given moment.  Whatever.

And I think I am sensitive to this subject because I once sat in the August heat at a zoo in Chicago nursing my infant under a cover.  I sat in a bench back in a corner to avoid being seen.  I knew my baby probably wasn't comfortable under the cover, but I did it so the other male family members I was with wouldn't get uncomfortable.  And even then, back in a corner with a cover over me and my baby, there were two groups of people walking by that saw what I was doing and gave me either a look that said "you're not supposed to do that here" or actually said "ewww. gross!" out loud.  It was after that moment that I realized I can't make everyone happy and from now on my baby's comfort is what I am going to worry about.

What I think is interesting about your statement that I quoted above is how you're talking about the comfort or needs of others and respecting them, but assuming that the only people we need to respect are the other adults and children that may be able to view us nursing.  What about respecting the comfort or needs of the infant that needs to be fed?  It certainly isn't comfortable to have to nurse in the heat with a blanket over your head.  Nursing is a need for a baby.  I don't see how anyone else's needs trump that when I am out in public with my baby.  Keeping them fed and content is my number one priority.  If it means I need to do it while I finish up my grocery shopping, so be it.  I'm a busy mom and I don't have time to cater to everyone around me's needs.  If people have a problem with it, they can look away.

It reminds me of other debates I am pretty passionate about - where we only consider the effect of certain things on the adults and forget that babies are people with rights too...

sararn2004

perplexed59:

osirismama:

Don't get me wrong, i have worn shirts that had to be lifted to feed my DS, BUT i did have a cover, and the cover was long enough that no one could see my tummy.  If i didn't have a cover, i always had a little blanket(recieving blankets usually) in the diaper bag that works just fine. I am all for breastfeeding, but again, if i could not cover myself in a very public place, i would not be standing and walking around drawing more attention to myself. I would be sitting somewheres, or go out to my car even.

I'm confused by this. Do you expect women at beaches to cover their belly's when they are walking around in a bikini? Watching the Olympics this summer I saw way more skin than I see in a nursing mother who is lifting up her shirt to feed her child.  

Um...these are completely different things. I am a huge advocate for modest clothing for boys and girls. I can't stand what girls wear nowadays. That being said, ripping off one's shirt in public(exageration) to feed a baby, may be natural, but probably isn't appropriate or totally necessary. I would rather see a woman feeding her baby in public than these little teeny boppers with their T and A's hanging out for the world to see. But I still think walking around with belly exposed-tshirt pulled up high with baby dangling is not exactly what I want to see.

I happened to have competed in track in college with uniforms that were butt huggers and sports bras with our college name on them. It's completely different to compare breastfeeding, whoring girls with nipples poking out of tank tops and athletes competing in sport.

wifeofadam

sararn2004:

It's completely different to compare breastfeeding, whoring girls with nipples poking out of tank tops and athletes competing in sport.

My only question to you is would you have had the same reaction if you would have seen a teenager in the store with a midriff-baring shirt?  Or if some girl coming from her track meet ran into the store in her sports bra and track pants? 

sararn2004

MexiCali:

pitterpatter129:

Neither of those things would bug me.  In fact, I'm 100% decided I'm going to try to learn how to walk and feed this LO at the same time!  I've even saved links on how to breastfeed in the Moby.  I never used a cover with DS and I fed him in public for 19 months.  I did try to keep my breasts covered, but gasp, you might have seen my stomach.   If other people want to completely rip their shirt off, I'm okay with it.  It's just a boob. 

 

Ditto, plus you admitted to having to look "real hard" to see what was going on. Why be that interested and then offended.

Um....no...if by "real hard" you mean actually looking at her instead out of my peripheral vision which is where the awkward positioning for carrying a baby was noticed. If you all could have seen what I saw you'd know that she quite possibly could have been a tad more discreet. Perhaps I don't describe it well, I'll never be accused of being an English major.  I BF for almost 2 years with my son, didn't even own a nursing cover and he never had to drink from a bottle so you better believe i NIP, but I also tried to respect other people and didn't whip everything out for the world to see. Did people sometimes get a shot when he was older and more interested in noises while my exposed boob was out there? sure, but I wasn't talking loudly and bringing attention to myself.

sararn2004

Jackigan:

Obviously this is one of those subjects where people are going to have differing opinions.  It's what makes us INDIVIDUALS.  No one is right, no one is wrong.  It's just how this particular subject makes us feel.  She said herself that she will BF in public, but she would feel more comfortable covering up or moving to a more private setting.  It was just that she has never witnessed this before and found herself a little shocked.  Because it just is to some people.  It's not something I've really seen before where I live (and I think this subject has a lot to do with where you live and how you were raised - some societies are much more relaxed than others) and if I did see a naked boob I would feel uncomfortable too.  Just like how I feel uncomfortable when I see topless ladies at some beaches when I visit Aruba. To me, its not the act of BF, its the nakedness in public for everyone to see. 

Exactly. Thank you.

sararn2004

Mamapoo:

Everyone keeps saying that she could have covered herself and gone to sit in a corner or something away from people.

If you were to have seen this:

with her talking in the middle of the store, would you have looked twice? If you were to see that in a restaurant while she was eating, would you ask her to cover herself/baby? 

 

No.

 

So why does a woman who is choosing a different option that she feels is best for her family have to be secluded to a corner and not be able to carry out her life as she sees fit? 

well, I can guarantee you if I saw this woman in the picture holding a bottle to feed her baby with her her shirt pulled up to almost her shoulder exposing her whole midriff and most of her boob...I would have taken the same double take. Oh, and speaking loudly to bring attention to herself.

sararn2004

+adamwife+:

sararn2004:

It's completely different to compare breastfeeding, whoring girls with nipples poking out of tank tops and athletes competing in sport.

My only question to you is would you have had the same reaction if you would have seen a teenager in the store with a midriff-baring shirt?  Or if some girl coming from her track meet ran into the store in her sports bra and track pants? 

Definitely. I totally hate it when women wear crap like that, whether they have nice little tight bodies or not. It's disrespectful. Plus. I would never have gone to the store without covering up my uniform. We were even embarrassed wearing our tights after practice if we had to go to the store.