gift for someone adopting?

chefnicole22

This is a kind out weird situation. My friend's sister has 3 kids, but no longer wants her youngest daughter, who is 11 weeks old, so now her sister(my friend) is adopting her. I want to send her something since I can't really help out bc she's a few states away, but I am unsure of what to send. I can't really afford to send her big things, and I kind of want to get something for her and the baby. Any suggestions? If I go for clothes, should I stay away from the ones that say "mom", since this situation is so odd? Also I am worried to get her anything sentimental, just in case her sister changes her mind and wants her back. Can that even happen if she is legally adopting her? Sorry for all the question!

ellekae

Thanks for stopping by!

The situation you are describing isn't actually as uncommon as you'd think. It's called kinship adoption. When you talk about this situation, instead of she "no longer wants her youngest daughter", I recommend saying she "is placing her youngest daughter for adoption with her sister." It's more positive. Just a thought.

As for what to get... If she doesn't have a registry, I'd go with the basics. Diapers, bottles, formula, plain white onesies (long sleeved or the tank top kind... the short sleeves ones are super annoying)...

If you want to spend more, ask if she has a carrier like a BabyBjorn, MobyWrap, or ErgoBaby carrier... Adopted babies need a lot of snuggle time in order to form an attachment to their new mom & dad, and carriers help with that.

As for stuff with "Mom" on it... I say go for it. When the adoption is finalized, legally, she WILL be this little girl's mother. I'm sure it will mean a lot to her for you to acknowledge that. 

And, to answer your question, once the adoption is finalized, there are very few cases in which the courts will consider giving the biological mother her rights back after she has signed them away. Once it's final, it's final. Which is good news for your friend and her new daughter.

DaisyZH

I think clothes would be cute and there are so  many choices I think you can easily avoid any that specifically say "Mommy's Little Girl" type of phrases.  Even besides the legal part of it, unless I really knew for sure that my friend was going to go by "Mom" I would avoid it just in case they decide to have her adopt but still go by " Aunt ____". 

You could also try gift cards to Target or restaurants, that's very helpful too.  You are such a good friend, good luck!!

chefnicole22

Thank you both so much for responding! And thank you for telling me how to rephrase that better. I felt bad saying it that way, but couldn't think of a better way to. Your suggestions are great

Foster1Mom

Diapers, you can never go wrong with diapers. Or, a gift card so she can pick up what she is lacking.

Dr.Loretta

Yeah, I'd go more with the idea that your friend's sister realized she can't handle raising 3 kids (I'm assuming alone?), so she chose her sister to raise her youngest daughter.

Just because she's adopting doesn't mean she won't be this little girl's mom. It just might take time for the legal stuff to go through. If you want to hold off until finalization for something more personal/sentimental, that's fine.

You may also want to consider gifts like food delivered to her home, or housecleaning, so she can spend more time bonding with the baby.