problems with school stuff...
lvnlife3184
member
anybody else have a BM / or custodial parent in their situation who doesn't like to cooperate with school things???
we are missing photos from SD's school picture envelope!! we only got 1 - 8X10 and we had ordered more than that. SD told me even there were more smaller photos in the envelope when she brought it home from school but she doesn't know where they are now. i'm so sick of having to email SD's teacher asking about flyers sent home and things like this. i feel dumb and hate bothering her but we don't get any information and last time, the teacher sent home a stapled packet of papers iwth lots of information about things coming up at school....well by the time we got it BM had tampered with all the papers. they all said DAD across the top but she ripped permission slips off the bottoms and wrote on them.
last spring we had a pizza fundraiser....on OUR order form we gave to BM to turn in with the money, well we saw it actually, instead of using our form she tried copying all of the information onto another form and messed it all up and pizza's were not ordered and money went missing. not sure what happened there! so this past month SD's fundraiser at school...we kept our money seperate at least and DH took it to the school himself. BM threw a fit about it saying we can't do it that way. Not sure who she thinks she is but thats pretty much the safest way to handle money...YOURSELF. instead of handing off envelopes to people who have screwed things up int he past....
anyway....thats my rant for the day. hoping BM gets a handle on her control issues and stops messing with our things. I hate putting a teacher on the spot over these things but when DH has his kids during the school week also i think he deserves to get the info as well.
(before anyone says anything about MYSELF emailing the teacher instead of DH, i have met the teacher numerous times and she has even emailed me about things so there is no problem with the communication being between her and I. DH isn't as organized and hip on the school stuff but is still obviously concerned about knowing whats going on in his childrens lives...)
Re: problems with school stuff...
thats a good idea. thanks!
At the beginning of the year, DH and I attended the orientation (meet the teacher) and BM did not. She couldn't be there. This was another event she did not make us aware of. we found out on our own luckily so that SD could go see her classroom and meet her new teacher.
We asked the teacher that evening to please send doubles home and she offered to write mom and dad on the tops of each flyer so that everybody knows theres a reason for 2 of them. well we always make sure things are sent back to BM. Even if its the only copy of something. we will just write down the info we need from it and then send it to her. All of SD's work from school goes in an extra folder for her mom to see. (being in 1st grade that can be A LOT of pages but we feel that her mom should still see everything she does in class.)
Her folders and book bag are always empty when we pick her up. never any graded papers to show her dad or any of the school newsletters or anything are in there.
Teacher hasn't sent duplicates of everything because i think she assumes some of those things....why would the mom NOT share info? she probably gets it now and sends everything home in doubles but we still never know if we are getting things...
This. Or ask if there is somewhere she could leave all handouts and you could pick them up once a week (if you live nearby). BD and I are generally decent about sharing information but when papers come home they're often forgotten about - especially if whoever got them doesn't see them as important. So I asked if DS could have 2 boxes - one for daddy, one for mommy. The teacher is already making copies of everything so she makes an extra. That way we each get everything.
ETA: I just saw your reply. I would ask for this and ask that your box or folder be kept separate since you still aren't getting things.
wow...thats pretty much crazy right there....
well i called the picture place earlier to figure out whats going on with our school photos. BM told DH earlier that she ordered the pictures she took from the envelope. (which were exactly what we were missing from our order) and then told him the company won't allow more than 1 order per student. Which is absolutely ridiculous. Of course they'll take more than 1 order. people do that all the time!
So when I call the lady at the picture place tells me, my husbands order is the ONLY order that was placed. BM didn't even place an order and she took our pictures!!!!!
How frustrating. I would be pretty pissed if that was happening here. And of course they take multiple orders! We do that every year for SS's
Things are about the same with our BM and school paperwork. Sometimes we get stuff, othertimes not at all. We just finished our fundraiser and she took both packets and went through them (to even out items sold) so we'll see how that turns out.
I would kindly tell BM to please hand over your pictures or reimburse you because you would hate to have to file a police report for theft.
You deserve your pictures - you paid for them, you ordered them. BM did not, and that's her fault.
I also agree with the PP who said that you should have two separate boxes at the school and then you pick up your stuff 1-3+ times a week, or I like the idea of taking the teacher addressed and stamped envelopes and asking her to mail stuff to you.
I do not know if this is an option but I know some teachers will scan and then email school announcements and hand outs and stuff. If not I would just ask that copies of everything be put together and left for you at the office to be picked up
She's pretty much nuts.
she's giving us our pictures at the end of this week. and if they are messed up or any are missing or anything like that i'm sure DH will have something to say.
He's a police officer....who steals from a police officer?????
A self-entitled whack-job, that's who....
Sheesh. She seems like a real peach. I'm sorry you and your husband are having such a hard time dealing with all this. I know from personal experience that schools are seeing this type of issue more and more frequently. Just know that you're not alone in this craziness.
At this point I think your husband has to just be brutally honest with the teacher and tell her what's going on. Let her know that paperwork is either not making it home or is being tampered with prior to you receiving it. No one wants to be "that" parent that rats out the other, but BM really isn't leaving you with much of a choice. Once the teacher is made aware of how bad things are, maybe she'll have an idea of how to move forward to make sure that your husband is kept in the loop. As PPS said: maybe the teacher can scan and email paperwork home, use a separate box for your husband, mail paperwork, etc.
Personally, I go to K's classroom every Monday and Friday to pick up paperwork and homework. Granted, I'm already at the school picking up my daughter but at least now we know what's going on in K's class. Her teacher sets everything aside for me to pick up, because my husband had to be "that" parent and explain that nothing is ever making it to our house. It was awkward, but she completely understood. In fact, there's been times when she's sent paperwork to my daughter's class to make sure it comes to us if it's a day I don't normally come by to get paperwork.
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conferences are coming up in a few weeks. i'm going to ask DH to mention the problems to teacher and see if she has any suggestions for us to recieve things more efficiently and i may tell him i personally think he needs to explain the picture problem and other papers being tampered with. I find it ridiculous for her to even mess with anything that says DAD real big across the top.