Are email notices appropriate for out of state friends/family?

Justtee33 · October 2012

Is it appropriate to do an email Evite or some kind of "Notice of Baby Shower" via email to friends/family in different states?

A lot of friends want baby shower information so they can get a gift but I'm wondering if it's necessary to send them an actual invite. Especially since my hostess paying for everything and mailing the invites. I figured I could do an email thing for free and much easier. But is that tacky??

Justtee33 · October 2012

So it is customary to just send out of state people baby shower invites even though you know they can't be there?

jeffsjayme · October 2012

discobelle:
I wouldn't send them a "notice of a baby shower" if they aren't getting an actual invitation. That sounds really awkward.
A birth announcement in the mail after the baby is born would be appropriate.

This. It's a shower, not the actual baby.

[Deleted User] · October 2012

I don't understand why they need a 'notice of baby shower' if they want to send you a gift? If they have already told you they want to send you a gift, why can't they just send it?

Send invites to people you want to come/you think would be able to come. Don't just send out invites (or evites, cringe) because you want people to send you gifts. That's tacky.

EastCoastBride · October 2012

MrsNorry:

I don't understand why they need a 'notice of baby shower' if they want to send you a gift? If they have already told you they want to send you a gift, why can't they just send it?

Send invites to people you want to come/you think would be able to come. Don't just send out invites (or evites, cringe) because you want people to send you gifts. That's tacky.

ALl of this. I really don't understand the "we need to know when the shower is so that we can send a gift" concept.

Justtee33 · October 2012

EastCoastBride:
MrsNorry:

I don't understand why they need a 'notice of baby shower' if they want to send you a gift? If they have already told you they want to send you a gift, why can't they just send it?

Send invites to people you want to come/you think would be able to come. Don't just send out invites (or evites, cringe) because you want people to send you gifts. That's tacky.
ALl of this. I really don't understand the "we need to know when the shower is so that we can send a gift" concept.

This is exactly what it feels like people are saying! Like they want an invite or notification just to send a gift. I'm not wanting to send an invite just because I want them to send me a gift...clearly tacky! But it sounds like it's ok to just tell them individually where I'm registered if they ask, yes? No, little message or email needed? Thanks for your advice!

StarBe · October 2012

Justtee33:
EastCoastBride:
MrsNorry:

I don't understand why they need a 'notice of baby shower' if they want to send you a gift? If they have already told you they want to send you a gift, why can't they just send it?

Send invites to people you want to come/you think would be able to come. Don't just send out invites (or evites, cringe) because you want people to send you gifts. That's tacky.

ALl of this. I really don't understand the "we need to know when the shower is so that we can send a gift" concept.

This is exactly what it feels like people are saying! Like they want an invite or notification just to send a gift. I'm not wanting to send an invite just because I want them to send me a gift...clearly tacky! But it sounds like it's ok to just tell them individually where I'm registered if they ask, yes? No, little message or email needed? Thanks for your advice!

Yes, it is ok to share where you are rigistered if they ask. I would say however they ask, facebook, email, phone call, etc to use that same means to say like "I am so greatful for the offer and interest in LO. We would be happy with anything but if you want some ideas we are registered at ABC and XYZ."

jasminelorraine20 · October 2012

I don't know about a "notice of baby shower", but my hostess sent out evites for my shower that was in NY.

[Deleted User] · October 2012

Justtee33:
This is exactly what it feels like people are saying! Like they want an invite or notification just to send a gift. I'm not wanting to send an invite just because I want them to send me a gift...clearly tacky! But it sounds like it's ok to just tell them individually where I'm registered if they ask, yes? No, little message or email needed? Thanks for your advice!

Yes, it's fine to let them know where you are registered if they are asking about sending you a gift.

PrimRoseMama · October 2012

Um, no. Just send them an invitation. If I got an invitation or "notification" via email like you describe then I know I was B.listed for the shower. Tacky.

rhubarb123 · October 2012

MrsNorry:
Justtee33:

This is exactly what it feels like people are saying! Like they want an invite or notification just to send a gift. I'm not wanting to send an invite just because I want them to send me a gift...clearly tacky! But it sounds like it's ok to just tell them individually where I'm registered if they ask, yes? No, little message or email needed? Thanks for your advice!

Yes, it's fine to let them know where you are registered if they are asking about sending you a gift.

This. I would not send them a "notice of baby shower". That is as bad as actually sending an evite for the baby shower. Evites are for very informal things...adult birthday parties, dinner get-togethers, etc.

1026pumpkin · October 2012

I think anyone that lives out of town that you would reasonably expect to attend your shower (close family and friends) should get the same invitation that everyone else gets. If you're not planning to invite them and/or it's obvious they wouldn't be able to attend, don't send an invitation at all. I would not send a notice of a shower- do you notify people about other parties they aren't invited to? I would feel bad if I received something that said, hey- I want you to know about this cool party I'm having that you're not invited to- want to send a gift anyway?

If people ask you about gifts, you can refer them to your registry. After the baby is here, send out birth announcements.

ggatlanta · October 2012

1026pumpkin:
I think anyone that lives out of town that you would reasonably expect to attend your shower (close family and friends) should get the same invitation that everyone else gets. If you're not planning to invite them and/or it's obvious they wouldn't be able to attend, don't send an invitation at all. I would not send a notice of a shower- do you notify people about other parties they aren't invited to? I would feel bad if I received something that said, hey- I want you to know about this cool party I'm having that you're not invited to- want to send a gift anyway?

This.

I'll add that there is an option for out-of-towners who *would* be invited if your baby shower were geographically convenient to them. If the subject of the shower comes up, I'd say, "Oh, I just hate that you're so far away now! Of course the only reason we didn't mail you an invitation is that I know it's a long trip, but you know that if you happened to be in town we would love to have you!"

I have lots of close friends who fall into this category - mailing an invitation is too gift-grabby, but since they will hear about the party through the grapevine, I make an effort to help them feel included without an obligatory-gift request.