Hi ladies! Sorry I've been MIA for the last month or so. I was in a pretty good space emotionally and feeling like I needed a little distance to focus on myself for a while. I've been participating in Carly Marie's Project Heal and, while it's been very healing and I've enjoyed having a forum to share my memories and feelings regarding baby Gary and our loss, it's bringing up some old feelings that I thought I was through with. Feelings of anger and guilt that I felt I had dealt with are back in full force. I guess it just goes to show that this pain we feel never really goes away, but rather cycles. Luckily the good times in between the hard times seems to grow and most days I function much the way I did before he passed. I think it has a lot to do with his first angelversary approaching and the dread that I feel about the month of December. I talked with DH today about it and he said that he's been having similar feelings. It's nice to know that we're somewhere on the same wavelength.
Anyway, I hope to be around more often now, both seeking and offering advice. I've missed you all and look forward to catching up. I'm sad to see so many new faces on this board. I'm so sorry that you're here on this terrible journey with us, but I hope that you find the support and comfort that I have found so often from the wonderful women on this board. Big hugs to all tonight!!