using names of any type of ex

2u2wow · October 2012

so DH has this thing that we can't use names of anyone we've dated, kissed or slept with....well due to us having a boy this is just all on me!

so...i love a name that i had totally forgotten about having hooked up with and now i'm kicking myself for saying anything! haha although now that i think about it and how he explained how weird that is i guess i'm over it...

back to the drawing board!

would you use an ex's name even if you didn't date? just a one night stand or anything close?

GWUAlum · October 2012

I wouldn't do it personally. I have an ex and love his name, but out of respect for my husband we will not be using it. I decided this way before my husband and I met, so its not an issue with us.

I think it?s all what you?re comfortable with. Personally we?ve found a name that we both love for a little boy and is nowhere close to the name of my ex. Good luck!

giraffe54 · October 2012

I agree with PP. Forcing your DH to live with a name that makes him think of you getting it on with another man (yeah, yeah, we've all done it but we don't need to talk about it with our DHs, LOL) is the greater of the two evils. It's really not a hardship in the grand scheme of life to come up with another name.

strawberrytree · October 2012

I wouldn't use the name of an ex that I had actually had a relationship with. However, when I was in uni I had a brief thing with a Gerrit. It's a Dutch name and its origins are very different, but it sounds kind of similar to my son's name, Gareth.

I also went on a date with an Evan once, and Ewan is a frontrunner if we have another boy. They're not exactly the same names, and I don't really remember what either of them looks like, so I don't think it's a big deal.

Keri Marie · October 2012

We had that rule. DH had a long list...

Sunidaze · October 2012

And this is probably why we never did come up with a boy's name.

curlylocks3 · October 2012

It would depend on the circumstances. A recent, serious ex? Probably not, but then again I'm not a big fan of those names anymore because I associate them with people I don't respect. I have names of two exes that I dated in high school and haven't seen in 10 years on our list of potential names. I'd have no problems using the names of any of my H's exes.

anvloveskme · October 2012

A guy I dated as a teem, sure, someone I had a serious relationship, no.

blu-eyedwife · October 2012

If I wasn't currently in touch with them, I don't think I'd have an issue using it, but then again, I don't like the names of any of guys I've been with. And DH doesn't like the names for any of the girls he's been with. So maybe that's why it's easy for us.

Blueyed228 · October 2012

I really like the name Giovanni for a boy. However I was in a long relationship with a guy who has that as a part of his last name so its a no go.

nunzchucks · October 2012

I feel your pain, DH dated a Kate back in college and it is a name I just love. She was a total crazy according to him so I had to nix it.

i would advise to avoid any name that has a personal negative connotation to either of you. It isn't worth it to have your DH be thinking of his or your ex your child's entire life. Is there a similar name you could use?

MelissaRae1525 · October 2012

I agree with anyone that you had a serious relationship with or slept with but anyone you've KISSED? That seems a little extreme to me. Maybe I've just kissed too many people.

jennipea382 · October 2012

For me it depends on the name and the relationship. I wouldn't use a name of someone I dated more recently for a longer period of time, but I'd consider a name of someone I briefly dated in like high school. Some of them have really common names (Matt, Mike, Josh, etc) and if I liked those names more I'd still potentially consider them. Something less common that I associate more with the ex I wouldn't use. I suppose it's a good think I don't really like any of my ex's names that much (or maybe that's why I don't like them, haha).

ETA: On the flip side, I did like a name of one of FI's exes. I mentioned it to him and he reminded me that she was the one that cheated on him and ditched him on prom night for another guy. Definitely gave up on that name, I wouldn't want him to be reminded of her.