when another mom at your kids preschool is stuck up — The Bump
Pre-School

when another mom at your kids preschool is stuck up

anyone know how to deal with one of "those" moms? My son is in preschool and it always seems that whenever we are bringing our kids to school or picking them up she seems to ignore me.. I will be sitting right there and smiling and she turns the other way. Then when the other parents come in she says hey how are you.. etc.. I say hi to the other parents as well and am friendly but its just seems to be really weird tension when we are both within a few feet of each other. I spoke to her one time but then she never bothers to speak to me anymore.

Re: when another mom at your kids preschool is stuck up

  • In that situation, I generally assume the other person is just shy. I know for me it can be awkward to try to make small talk with someone that I don't know at all. But if you saw me around my friends, you wouldn't think I was shy at all.

    I guess I would just ignore it or stop making an effort.

    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • People are rude/awkward everywhere, its not really particular to preschool parents or moms. Just ignore her or make a spectacle of being friendly.
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  • Eh -- this happens from time to time.  I was a preschool mom for a total of 5 school years.  The mix of personalities was a little different each year.

    Years 1 and 2:  I met the other moms and was friendly enough with them to make small talk when we were all at pick up/drop off or at a birthday party.  If I see one of them now in the grocery store, we say hi, but we don't really keep in touch.

    Year 3: These moms just happened to be the biggest bunch of freaks I've ever met.  They were just negative, always griping about something.  A bunch of them formed a little clique.  I wanted no part of that.  I just kept a polite distance that year.

    Year 4: Best.Moms.Ever. With these moms, everyone was always welcome, everyone got to know everyone else.  We all still keep in touch, even though the kids are in 2nd and 3rd grade!  Unsurprisingly, these are some of the nicest kids I've dealt with as well.

    Year 5: Similar to the year 1 & 2 vibe, but with the bonus that I did get to know the mom of my son's BFF, and now our two families are pretty good friends.

    Just say hi to her, and don't expect much.  But don't take her reactions to you personally either. 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • imageAngela814:

    In that situation, I generally assume the other person is just shy. I know for me it can be awkward to try to make small talk with someone that I don't know at all. But if you saw me around my friends, you wouldn't think I was shy at all.

    I guess I would just ignore it or stop making an effort.

    This. I know that sometimes I can come off as a little standoffish, but it's really just shyness. Perhaps she knew the other moms already. I take DS to a lot of different activities that don't have all the same regular participants - park & rec, library storytimes, etc. and sometimes I have a little trouble warming up to some of the other moms until we see each other several times.

  • Lol you send your kid to say hi to hers.

    Today I came across one.  I am pretty infamous in the school because I have 3 kids in the school, and did last year... or because my hair is any shade of crazy, or because I drive an orange suv withorange  skull and crossbone family stickers- not sure, but I tend to put off the average person on first impression. 

    I held the door open for a mom and a kid and smiled at her and she flipped her hair and looked the other way.  My daughter, however chirped "Hi Ben, Hi Ben's Mom!" and clearly pained, she replied and nudged her child to respond and gave me a breezy look.  LOL it made my day.  But I am a little bit of a turd that way. 

    In my case, we're a co-op school and the parents all interact with your child so you have to play nice, really, but otherwise, I find someone who snubs is either painfully shy and (hopefully) unable to return a smile, or person who is never going to like me because I am not like her, she dislikes something about me I can't or don't care to change, and so it is.

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

    [IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/34fg0u1.jpg[/IMG]
  • I don't pay much attention to the parents dropping off/picking up their children at preschool.  I say hi, but if someone doesn't say hi to me, I don't really notice.  It's not a social situation, like a play date, kwim? 



  • I would try to assume she is just painfully shy. Because that's how I am. When I'm with friends you'd never guess but as soon as I'm out of my comfort zone I can barely make eye contact with people I don't know. I hate it and I hate that I make other people uncomfortable. And for the life of me can't change it.
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  • I am the grown up - I say hi and move on.  Life is too short to worry about one other parent so I don't let it bother me. 
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • imagetrying to conceive jane:
    anyone know how to deal with one of "those" moms? My son is in preschool and it always seems that whenever we are bringing our kids to school or picking them up she seems to ignore me.. I will be sitting right there and smiling and she turns the other way. Then when the other parents come in she says hey how are you.. etc.. I say hi to the other parents as well and am friendly but its just seems to be really weird tension when we are both within a few feet of each other. I spoke to her one time but then she never bothers to speak to me anymore.

    Actually this just isn't a MOM @ Pre-k it's the TEACHER. You have no idea what it's like to see my daughter walk in so happy saying hi to the teacher who gives a quick "hi A" and then saying hi to her daughter WHO NEVER RESPONDS. I'm so sick of it. The teacher is so self centered and I'm seriously considering pulling her our of this school b/c of her. She's not loving, sensitive or even nice.

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