Does this sound necessary or unproffesional?

blessedhope

I need an opinion from someone who is not emotionally involved so I would really like your opinions.

Monday I had an appointment with a high risk Dr. My regular OB said she sent him all my information about my history of losing my first baby during childbirth so he already had a heads up about my past history.

When I went in for the consultation with him he first told me to tell him every detail of my labor. Timing, pushing, crowning, which manuevers were used etc. I was sobbing and asked him if this was really necessary since he already had all that information sent to him from my OB. He said yes it was necessry for him to hear it from me and said to go on.

The events of losing Titus during childbirth are extremly traumatic to me. I have flash back like panic attacks and frequent nightmares. I hate that with every new Dr. I am forced to relive the details by me telling them. Why don't they just look at my records. How do they even know what I am telling them is true? I am educated on childbirth and the complications that caused us to lose him, but what if I didn't understand and was giving faulty information? Is it just me or does it unproffessional to have a patient relay past labors and complications?

I have been in a bad place emotionally sine this appointment. I feel like with every appointment like this the few steps I take forward in the grieving process I am yanked back to a worse place.

Any thoughts? Do your Dr.s rely on you to tell them about your past loses? Have you like me asked the Dr. to read your records and not make you go through the pain of telling them yourself and the Dr. not respect your wishes? Thanks for any insight

jbranden12

I have no experience because I have had the same OB since I was a teen and am staying with her for this pregnancy, but I am so sorry you had to experience this. On one hand, I appreciate when doctors want to listen to me and don't just go off of what the chart says, but I believe they should have some compassion while doing so. ((HUGS))

amidkiff

I'm shocked he asked you to give such detail and not just a basic what happened. It seems anytime I've had to go to a new Dr even if they have my info I have to give an overview. But to ask in that much detail especially after being reminded it's in your chart seems cruel. I'm sorry the high risk DR is such an a$$. ((HUGS))

tdmd09

nola78:

(((hugs)))

I had to do the same that with my MFM.  It was horrible.  I talked to DH about it afterwards (he is a physician) and he said it was necessary.  Taking a history is one of the most important things a doctor can do.  And, even though it sucks, it's good that your doctor asked you all those questions.  Sometimes what he wants to know, or wants your impression of, can't be found in the notes he's received.  For him to get the most complete picture, he has to ask you what happened, and not rely on someone else's interpretation of what happened.  

I'm sorry it was so hard for you.  More (((hugs))) 

As a nurse, I agree with the above -- it is unfortunately necessary. When we went to the genetic counselor after my second loss, the genetic counselor had all of my records (and gave me test results my OB hadn't given me yet, so I know she read them all), but she still asked me to describe, in detail, my experience with each of my losses. It was hard, and I cried the entire time, but she needed to be able to document my history, from my perspective.

There may be things that you remember that weren't documented well enough for him to act on, and the things to told him may impact the way he treats you. Getting "your side of the story" gives him a much more accurate picture of what happened and will allow him to take better care of you.

That said, I understand how hard it is to bring up and relive painful experiences, and I'm sorry you had a hard time.  

BarooGirl

I dont know, but it does sound like some medical professional PPs have some insight for you.

I am so sorry you had to retell though.

Albah

I am so sorry you had to go through this. Being a physician, i mostly rely on my patient's encounters for all the details in order to make the best assesment and decision. Medical records from colleagues is very useful but they don't always provide the complete picture. With that said, the way a physician goes about acquiring the information is of huge importance. Showing compassion and understanding is at the cornerstone and making a patient feel as comfortable as possible while giving the information creates a good relationship.

weddedwife

I would flat out ask WHY it is necessary. Maybe he's got a good explanation. Plus, there is always the side of knowing what you were feeling during everything, since you were the one giving birth.

My situation was different but with this pregnancy I had to retell a lot of the details to numerous Drs. Even when I first met with the nurse to confirm my pregnancy she asked all the generic questions like "number of pregnancies", "number of living children", "have you ever had a preterm birth or stillbirth" etc. All that stuff seemed like really basic stuff that would be in my chart so I don't know why they make me go through it all. And with several of the Drs this round they have wanted to know what I was experiencing leading up to N's birth, including the days prior, the hours leading up to it, etc.

As hard as it was to retell it, it has gotten easier every time and I really WANT them to know every detail I can give so I would NOT have to go through that again. If anything I could tell them was new or crucial information, I wanted them to know it. But I totally understand where you are coming from and I get why it's very hard.

So to answer your question, no I don't think it's necessarily unprofessional. Hard- yes, but perhaps necessary.

anitanation09

I think all the PP's doing a great job of explaining this. I agree also!

So im here to just give you (((Hugs!!)))

Take care, I hope your able to feel better soon.

blessedhope

PetraStonegirl:

I am extremely sorry that you have to relive it again, and what I'm about to say is going to be hard to hear. But, I mean it only to help you understand.

You HAVE to retell the story to him. He needs to hear the details from you, because you are the only one who experienced it. Yours is the most important point of view in your loss.

The blunt fact is that medical records are incomplete of sometimes critical details at best, and blatantly false in the worst of cases. Even a good medical team is only going to leave notes giving certain data points that stuck in their mind when they worked your chart. 

Just for example, I keep copies of all my medical records, because I have moved far more than usual and have a complicated medical history. In getting ready to pursue infertility treatments, I finally pulled out the surgical report from the myomectomy I had done in 2005. I was stunned to find out that the surgeon had dictated the notes to someone else's surgery under my name. The notes described a D&C-like scraping, yet the surgical video he showed me post op, as well as the surgical scars the RE found in my uterus, clearly showed the muscle wall of my uterus being resected in two places. This information has a huge impact on this pregnancy, and if the RE had just read the report and disregarded my account of things, she likely would have never found the scar tissue and septum.

Another example, just from my own medical history: I had a persistent sinus infection and treatment had failed. An abscess ruptured and drained into my lungs during the night when I was out of state. In less that 12 hours I was hospitalized for a week due to a severe lung infection. When I was discharged, they gave me copies of my records. The history clearly indicates no history of asthma (accurate), the treatment record clearly indicates treatments for the infection (accurate), yet the discharge order indicates that I was hospitalized for "asthma attack after 5 year history of asthma", and the prescriptions called to my local pharmacy were 100% wrong. They were high dose meds to treat chronic/severe asthma. 

The first case is certainly a mistake, the second case had malpractice written all over it. If my pharmacist hadn't asked me to tell him what happened, while I was waiting for him to fill the scripts, I would have landed right back in the hospital.

At any rate, as hard as it is, it is good and proper of him to ask you to retell the tale, with all the particulars. As upset as you are at the retelling, please understand that he is doing it to help you, to do everything in his power to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

(((HUGS))) 

thanks for sharing

MrsRiceARoni

nola78:

(((hugs)))

I had to do the same that with my MFM.  It was horrible.  I talked to DH about it afterwards (he is a physician) and he said it was necessary.  Taking a history is one of the most important things a doctor can do.  And, even though it sucks, it's good that your doctor asked you all those questions.  Sometimes what he wants to know, or wants your impression of, can't be found in the notes he's received.  For him to get the most complete picture, he has to ask you what happened, and not rely on someone else's interpretation of what happened.  

I'm sorry it was so hard for you.  More (((hugs))) 

I haven't had to do anything like this because I am with the same doctor for this pregnancy as I was with my last but I have given a brief discription to nurses etc and it was difficult for me but I also felt good about being able to share my story. I don't know for sure, but what nola said is about what I was thinking on the matter, but I do think the doctor could have gone about it in a better manner.

kpowers982

I got tears reading this. I am so, so deeply sorry they made you recount that experience. My heart aches for you right now.