Showing up unannounced

LadySnowblood

Just out of curiosity...

Do you think showing up at someone's house unannounced for a visit is rude or not?

Is there an exception made for family?

My in-laws love to be spontaneous and love to just pop by people's houses (mainly ours) without calling first. DH and I hate it and think it's rude. IL's act like we are weird and the only people who think that's rude. I just need to know if I'm crazy or not.

Smootchy

I think it depends on if you're from the south or not.

 

yes. it's rude or at least inconsiderate.

klondikebar

Rude, no exceptions.

LadySnowblood

Might I also add, that they have impeccably bad timing and show up during secksy time a lot. Not cool!

Libby1978

It's really rude.  What if I'm having sex or in my PJ's or just not in the mood to see anyone?  I wouldn't even go to my parent's house without calling first.

HElizabethDU

It would bug me, but I didn't grow up that way.  

My parents are from a tiny town, where everyone knows everyone.  In their home town people always just stopping by.  No one locks their doors, so they will even walk in if no one answers, and leave a note if they aren't home...

Thankfully my parents always call first before stopping by, I think DH would go bananas! 

jasminelorraine20

I think it's annoying when my SO's friend pops up around dinner time every night unnanounced, but he seems to think there's nothing wrong with that. I consider it more annoying than rude.

Smootchy

BostonKisses2:

That annoys me.  I don't mind if someone wants to be spontaneous, but give us a call first and at least make sure we're home and not busy with something else (or ready to walk out the door to do something else).

I agree. Spontaneous and unannouced are different. But "call before you come... Don't just pop over" was mine and DH's anthem when we got married.

 

14kgirl

It's really rude.  MIL did it once and I kind of gave her a passive-aggressive "Oh no, did you lose your cell phone?" thing.  It's common courtesy to give a heads up.  What if you just destroyed the downstairs bathroom and need to open a window, lol.

mben1119

I wouldn't let them in. My house is usually not "company clean" plus I rarely have a bra on at home.

[Deleted User]

I think it's really rude if you haven't said it was alright.  My parents stop in plenty without calling, but we've established that it's OK with us.  If my ILs tried this, I doubt I would get one word out before DH explained to them why that will NOT be happening again. 

KJmashup

Oh. I do this.

 

 

Now I'm beginning to understand why I don't have any friends. 

missymo

My neighbors (who have a daughter 2 months younger than mine), have done this twice this week.  It really sucks.  I've got to develop a strategy for not allowing it, but I haven't yet.  

LadySnowblood

LeSpoofle:

LadySnowblood:

Might I also add, that they have impeccably bad timing and show up during secksy time a lot. Not cool!

I just wouldn't answer the door.

I know! That's what I try to tell DH...

But, we recently put a stop to it. After I had the baby, we told them no more. Since they are kinda thick, they still tried to do it. Of course at first, I always was half naked and nursing 24/7 so DH would go to the door and tell them they can't come in. I'm sorry, but if I'm lounging around half dressed and nursing all the time, I'm not about to jump up and get decent because you can't call first. That put an end to it, but not without some grumbling about how weird we are and that everyone else (and by everyone else, they mean DH's gma) is ok with it.

Cbidt's girl

My inlaws also invite other people over to our house without asking us. When MIL is babysitting for me she'll invite friends and family to MY HOME to meet my kids or to HAVE DINNER. I'll arrive home from work to a dinner party for 8. She thinks DH and I are weird for being p1ssed.

bumpuser260585

My ILs used to do this all the time. DH finally told them to start calling first so they now call while sitting in our driveway.

LadySnowblood

SpitsNGiggles:

My ILs used to do this all the time. DH finally told them to start calling first so they now call while sitting in our driveway.

bahahahaha

Sorry for thinking that's funny but that sooo sounds like something my ILs would do...but they haven't done it yet. thank god.

ridesbuttons

It doesn't bother me in the least if people show up unannounced.  If we're here  (with the exception of having sex) there's nothing we can't stop doing to have a visit or entertain or whatever.  Some of our best and most fun nights have come out of nowhere, of a couple or a person just dropping by to say 'hi'.

I do it at the cottage, but it is expected and very common there.  In my neighbourhood, it's not unusual to get called in to someone's home if you're out for a walk.

I know this is an UO here, by why do people find it to be rude?  What's the big deal?

 

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

Overall, I think it's rude.

The exception would be if say a neighbor dropped by for a few minutes.

 

KatelynEA90

Rude, 95% of the time.

There's very few people that wouldn't bother me if they did that. One being my best friend. She can deal with a messy house and me looking a mess. I would probably make her watch the kids while I took a shower or something.

 

ASmallWonder

I think it's horrible.  I have done it exactly 1 time and that was when we drove to my IL's to surprise them about our first BFP  But their house is always company ready so I know they don't care.  My house?  My house needs to be bombed for company so I'd hate drop ins.

mammersoh

Yes it's rude. My grandparents annoy everyone with doing this, so when I had my youngest I told them to at least give me a phone call in case the baby was sleeping. Now they call...when they are pulling into my neighborhood. Every. Single. Time. I guess they think the time that it takes to drive around the block is enough notice. 

LoCarb

Extremely rude; especially in the day of technology

Wufroggy79

I never think it is a good idea to just show up, family or not.

mejane123

95% rude.  If it's an emergency, or a neighbor wanting a cup of sugar or something, fine.  Family coming by to chat and hang out?  No.  

DH's family is like this.  When we first moved in together, FIL would plan family gatherings (him, MIL, aunt, uncle, grandmom) at our house without consulting us first, which would mean they would expect lunch cooked (no sandwiches) by me.  Uh, no.  Fortunately DH told him NO to that the second time he pulled it (the first time we had no idea, ILs showed up w/aunt and uncle to tour the new house).  He seems to have gotten the picture since that talk.  He forgets every now and then, though.  

And ditto what someone mentioned about growing up in the south.  My grandmom was from the south, and she loved having people drop by to hang out.  Granted that probably also had to do with her being from a different time where phones were a luxury.    

kaydee77

DH is ALWAYS dropping by people's houses unannounced.  One of his friends is single and always in his garage drinking beer, so that's no biggie.  But as for other people, I tell him he should at least call first!! It drives me nuts when we are driving around and he says "let's stop by so-and-so's house"....It's kind of embarrassing for me, because I personally don't like unannounced company so I sort of cringe when we just randomly pull into someone's driveway!!

LoveBeingAWife33008

rude!

LadyXaverian

Where I grew up, it was the norm, and it wasn't considered rude at all.

Where I live now, it is considered rude to show up and expect to visit. I've had a friend or family member stop by on their way through the neighborhood to drop something off, but never with the expectation to hang out.

p1nklemonade

rude, no matter who it is.