Come vent with me - worst thing ever said to you while TTC/TTCAL

funny bunny

"At least you can get pregnant"

I think this is the worst one I hear. And I get it from my Dr's too, which basically makes me want to punch them both.. 

Littlar

I went to get blood draws with my 1st m/c after some light spotting and 4 1/2 weeks.  The nurse called me back with the test results and told me "well we got the results and the is no way you were ever pregnant"  I was in shock I couldn't even think and still to this day over a year later it makes me mad that I couldn't think to say anything back. If I had that moment back I would have so pulled out ummm yeah I don't think that 2 digital pregnancy tests would say positive and be 5 days late if there wasn't something going on!!

luciddreamer106

Not much has been said to be directly bc not that many ppl know about our journey. We told my sil the day we found out that our little one stopped growing. She said, "Mom and Dad are never going to have grand kids! Haha."

She's 30something, not married, and doesn't think she'll ever have her own. But WTF! I was in shock that I couldn't even respond to her. MH just said, "don't say things like that." But we never got any apology. It's been hard for me not to hold that against her since.

MrsFunk07

jenn0021:

ashleen223:

I had an 80 year old lady tell me that the reason I had an ectopic pregnancy was because I have large dogs and playing and pulling on them probably messed something up. Yeeeaaaah.

Wow.

Yikes! My face and thoughts exactly!

*POW!* *POW!* *POW!* (that's me punching for you) 

 

HayleyBaker1122

sjelwood:

MIL was insensitive too, and said: "At least you know you can get pregnant.  You have years to keep trying."   

 

 

My mom said this to me... I was like... really... you think that makes losing my baby ok? ugh!

cekelly11

all of these were "well-meaning" comments, At least you know you can get Pg. At least you have DD to focus on. You know you can have kids. There was probably something really wrong with the baby. Thank God it happened early before you got attached to it. Ugh sometimes the well meaning people are the worst

weaslewam

The worst thing that my mom said to me when I was on the phone with her SUPER PISSED that my family was all having this big "let's talk about weaslewam behind her back" thing because I was having a rough f*cking time... well I was super pissy and my mom goes:

"What are you doing to make yourself feel better?"

I was like, "Are you kidding me? I'm blogging, I'm exercising, I'm talking online to a support group, I'm going to ATTEND support group meetings, I'm seeing a counselor, what else should I be doing since I'm clearly not happy?!"

 

csspencer

funny bunny:

"At least you can get pregnant"

I think this is the worst one I hear. And I get it from my Dr's too, which basically makes me want to punch them both.. 

I've gotten that from multiple people...I've finally started saying, well yeah just "getting" pregnant really means nothing to me if I can't keep the pregnancy.

One of my good friends keeps telling me to relax and have fun, that'll get me pregnant, finally I informed her that getting pregnant really isn't the problem, it's staying pregnant.

 

TLR813

ashleen223:

funny bunny:

"At least you can get pregnant"

I think this is the worst one I hear. And I get it from my Dr's too, which basically makes me want to punch them both.. 

Ooooh, I have heard this one too! Not helpful, quit saying it jackasses!

Ugh!  I forgot how much I hate that one too!!

baby101010

Some of the worst things are as follows; ( they are probably the same things that many of  you have heard!!! )

1. At least you know you can get pregnant

2. You can always try again

3. Everything happens for a reason

4. You will have a successful pregnancy next time

5. At least you have Aiden- be happy that you have him ( Aiden is my DS) and forget about all those others and move forward

LunaBug924

Warning....baby mentioned (not mine)

 

 

 

 

 

A friend actually told me a few weeks after my m/c that I should be thankful for not having those sleepless nights in my near future. She has a 10mo old who is a handful and was being exceptionally diffucult that day. I about fell over. She apologized later on, but it still hurt.

heather52904

Ugh, these are awful. Few people know about our mc, so I haven't had to deal with many insensitive comments. When I told my mother, the first thing she said after sorry was "did you have a fall"? Um, no I am perfectly capable of going about my day to day life without spontaneously falling over. But thanks for implying it is my fault. Of course I didn't actually say any of that. She is a nurse and she then proceeded to tell me I must have had a blighted ovum and to give me a lecture on them. I did not have a blighted ovum and really didn't need her to "educate" me. I'm probably overly sensitive about it, but she just loves to try to prove how smart she is by reciting medical facts and in this case she didn't even know what she was talking about.

ufsandra85

4th pregnancy- my grandma said "do you think this one is going to last?"

buggirl72

KMW08:

martyn17:

buggirl72:

Here is mine:

Six years ago, my then H (who went through 4+ years of TTC) told me that he "knew this was wrong, but hated me because I was broken." (this is a big reason why he is now the ex-H). 

I have never told anyone this.  I will admit that after I got my BFP, I thought about this (HA! look who is not broken!) and then laying in the hospital after my placental abruption I again thought about it.  Since I have now vented it to the world, I hereby proclaim that that great assholian statement has zero power over me. 

Thank you  

Edit - remove bad link for gif.  Grrr my inability to put a picture in my post  

 

Hugs.  What an ***.   

THIS.

If you ever see him again, it's really not worth your time and effort, but you could let him know that what he said WAS wrong & that you were broken because you chose him for x-amount of years and that you had a character judgement flaw because obviously your time spent with him was the biggest mistake! 

((hugs)) and thank you! The only thing good I can say that came from that was now I can truly appreciate the great relationship that my DH and I have.  

buggirl72

ufsandra85:

4th pregnancy- my grandma said "do you think this one is going to last?"

OMG! Awful, just awful.  

eggmankate

"Guess what!? I'm pregnant!"........how do I respond to that without looking like a jerk? Sigh.

Also, "everything happens for a reason and that baby probably had some chromosomal abnormality". Yes, but I'm still just grieving that I even had to be one of the unlucky ones to even deal with this.

 "Just be patient, it will happen, I just know it!". We're going through IF so I get this a lot from people who are just trying to be optimistic. I can't stand listening to others tell me it'll happen "someday" when I want the "someday" to be now.

 "Miscarriages are so common!" If they're so common why does it seem like everyone else but me is pg?

RedPhoenix625

Oh damn, I've had lots of stupid shiit said to me.  I know I'm hypersensitive about it, but it still pisses me the eff off every time.  So I'll ditto all of your awful stories that make me hate humanity, and add:

When people offer me their kids.  Don't offer me your kids...I will take them.  No questions asked.



I should really start tape-recording my conversations with these people.  Do you think that would stand up in court?

LitlePrety

All of these are just awful!

 For me, it was this: began miscarrying on Sunday, Dr. confirmed on Tuesday,  D&C on Wednesday.  Then Saturday I get a birth announcement in the mail from DH's cousin.  It was postmarked Friday.  The whole family knew we were pregnant and MIL called to let them know what had happened.  I keep telling myself it was just an oversight but it does NOT take the sting away from opening that up. 

Kristintific

A friend from Hs who is having Tttc pulled the "at least you can get pregnant" ..... I responded with "yeah the trick is STAYING pregnant I wouldn't wish that on anyone"... I think their issue is MFI... She's ovulating (we discuss this stuff)... Her H won't get tested. he's kind of a jerk anyway unfortch. So I took it more as she didn't know what she was saying and is in a lot of pain.  It stung, but given her nature (to always put her foot in her mouth) ... I just let it roll off my back.