Slowly loosing it, LO No Sleep and Work

forestdancer

Sorry this is a bit long- Any advice would be great.

Friday and Saturday night- my DH and I take turns getting up for baby,

Sunday night- MY DH takes care of LO hes has off Monday

HOWEVER, he barely hears here even once when she was make loud noises right next to him. And on certain nights we have my SS who shares a room.(she has room to her self tues-friday)

 The rest of the week Monday night through Thursday night its mostly me (every now and then mother in law takes her Thurs night) My DH has to get up for work at 3:30am. (works 12 hr days)

My LO is 4 months old. She goes down around 7:30 pm and i'm lucky if she does not fuss. Last night we had a decent night she slept till 11. Wanted food , went back down but fussed, lost paci and need me to put her back on her side(she only like to side sleep in her crib- she will sleep on her back on the couch if I let her) Its me getting up every 30 mins or so to give her paci and get get to sleep so I can lay back down. Last night I eventually fed her again at 4:30-5 and she went back out around 5:20. I had to leave the house at 6:30 to bring her to my MIL and then drive to work ( I work an hour from home and mornings can take me 1 1/2 to 2/ 1/2 hours to get to work)

 

I do not know what to do to help her get better sleep, not wake up her SB when they share, I'm so exhausted and work is so busy and I have hard time function after a couple of solid hours at work. 

 My MIL says she slept from about 8pm till 4:14am for her one night( not sure how that happened) she slept in P&P. 

What am I doing wrong? Should I try sleep training? Shes not a great napper but shes a very happy girl. But I'm loosing it, I'm starting to cry at night, out of being so tired. My work is slipping as i'm getting add responsibility and having trouble focusing. I bring home the bulk of the money and the insurance plan, I can't change jobs.., i hate coffee! lol Tea does not work but I love my LO so much I feel like I failed us all.

 

 

mben1119

Your LO is a little young for sleep training. Are you positive she isn't still hungry?  DS used to wake a LOT to eat, and hey, he'd fall right back asleep for a few more hours at least. He started STTN (12 hours) on his own at 6 months.  After her main chunk of sleep, when she starts going up and down, do you think she'd sleep better in bed with you?  Or on the couch with you?  I'm of the opinion of you have to do what works for you, and

jnealet

Sounds like you're in the middle of the 4 month wakeful.  It will get better!

 That being said, my D2 is almsot 11 months old and has only slept through the night a handful of times.  It got extra bad for a few weeks and I left work more than one time for a migraine. I just needed more sleep.

Now days, I get up with D2 the first time she wakes up and feed her.  If she gets up again, I tell DH to go in there and I go back to sleep.  DH has fought me on this one a few times but I'm standing firm.

For you, I suggest either sleeping on the couch away from the baby on your day off or waking DH up and having him deal with the first couple wake ups and you can deal with it later.  Its OK for your husband to be tired at work.

forestdancer

I thought it was a little early for sleep training too but I'm so tired i'm close to trying anything.  I'm a very light sleeper and its small house so I hear here no matter what. I'm sure shes not hungry. Maybe I will try just sleeping on the couch, My back just hurts after those nights.

I had a bassinet next to my bed and she never would sleep good in that. For the first couple months she slept best in the nap nanny but she likes sleeping side best now.

 I guess I just need to start liking coffee and waking the husband up more, its just so hard for me to go back to sleep after getting up so I just figure do it. 

 

 

jnealet

forestdancer:

I thought it was a little early for sleep training too but I'm so tired i'm close to trying anything.  I'm a very light sleeper and its small house so I hear here no matter what. I'm sure shes not hungry. Maybe I will try just sleeping on the couch, My back just hurts after those nights.

I had a bassinet next to my bed and she never would sleep good in that. For the first couple months she slept best in the nap nanny but she likes sleeping side best now.

 I guess I just need to start liking coffee and waking the husband up more, its just so hard for me to go back to sleep after getting up so I just figure do it. 

 

 

 

When you're tired enough your body figures it out pretty fast. 

 Another thing - do you think you have ppa?  I had the worst time falling back asleep after lo woke up and I would worry about the strangest things all night long.  I finally talked to my ob about it and she put me on zoloft.  I slept much better afterwards.

KathrynMD

I sleep trained at 4.5 months - sucked for a few days, but then was good.

I will caveat it w/ this - my DD was waking up and was clearly tired/sleepy, not hungry. She would go back to sleep in a few minutes of rocking and w/ no bottle. But as soon as I put her down, she'd start wailing again. People on the bump/nursing websites called it "4 month wakeful" but my pediatrician didn't know what the heck that was (and she nursed 4 kids and is a pediatrician!)

If your LO is just waking up b/c she's missing her paci and/or needs to change positions, you might give her 5-10 minutes before you go in and see if she can figure it out herself. (It'll suck and she's cry, but really if you can let her cry for a few minutes a couple nights and everyone gets better sleep - for her and you too - it might be worth it.) I would take a day off and sleep and get your head on straight and then think about what you want to do.

TheNewMrsCfont

I have a 5.5 month old and I was exactly where you are a couple of weeks/month ago.  I thought that my ds was hungry so I got up with him most times (I ebf).  I was so tired, had a headache all the time and most definitely had anxiety issues.  I ultimately changed my routine so that I could go to bed as soon as possible after he fell asleep (I put my older son to bed at 8, so I would go to sleep then) and tried to get as much extra sleep on the weekends as I could.  I pretty much had no life for 6ish weeks and kept my schedule as bare bones as possible, but I'm happy to say that the last week he is back to sttn.  During that time 2 teeth broke through, so some of it was teething.  You will get through this!

chels0120

We started sleep training from the get go (Baby Wise) which I know can be controversial but it worked REALLY well for us and DS. He is an AWESOME sleeper and rarely ever gets sick (which I partially attribute to the fact that he has always slept so well). Personally I would try a good night routine and sleep training because you guys are going to be insanely burnt out if you don't change something.

Margaret Lemon

Well I am not much use as my baby still does not STTN.  My schedule is a little more flexible than yours, so I sometimes try to relax during the day if I don't have a lunch appointment with a client

But, if you don't like coffee, try the Starbucks very berry refresher. It has the caffeine And is very low calorie. They also have a take home version. I never drank coffee before becoming a mom. 

If you are sure that the baby is not hungry maybe you should take the advice of PPs to sleep train. After you train your baby, can you come to our house and train mine? 

cindybaf

I'm a light sleeper and I wear earplugs, I can totally still hear LO when she's crying but I don't wake up for the occasional fuss. She's 95th percentile for weight so I know she's getting enough to eat, and has been sleeping through the night since 9 weeks. Do you swaddle your baby still? I recommend swaddling, but I also would recommend putting LO down for the night a little later than 7:30pm. I usually feed LO at 7:30, 8:30, and right before 10pm (this is called cluster feeding, we EBF), then put her down for the night. It's helped her sleep for a longer stretch too. Good luck, it's hard!

mrsseguin

I wouldn't go get her when she fusses or wants her paci or wants to be turned on her side.  I would only go get her when she's screaming.  When we had DS, we got him whenever he made a peep, he's a terrible sleeper and he's almost 4.  With DD, we let her fuss, cry a bit and would only get her when she was really crying.  She goes down without a peep, for naps and bed.  It's amazing.  It is so hard in the beginning...that's one of the main reasons DH and I go back and forth on having a 3rd.  The sleep deprivation is SO hard.  It does get easier.  Hang in there.

forestdancer

Margaret Lemon:

Well I am not much use as my baby still does not STTN.  My schedule is a little more flexible than yours, so I sometimes try to relax during the day if I don't have a lunch appointment with a client

But, if you don't like coffee, try the Starbucks very berry refresher. It has the caffeine And is very low calorie. They also have a take home version. I never drank coffee before becoming a mom. 

If you are sure that the baby is not hungry maybe you should take the advice of PPs to sleep train. After you train your baby, can you come to our house and train mine? 

 

If I do it, i'll let you know LOL

forestdancer

Thanks everyone. She did a little better last night. I have off a couple days next week so I was debating sleep training, since I will be home and can better handle it.

 I do not want to rush in there every time I try to let her fuss, but after so long i'm so tired I want to do anything to get back to sleep myself. 

 On the nights my stepson is with us, I want to make sure he gets sleep for school so I rush in there more.

 Do you think that If I slept with her in the P&P in the living room a couple days then the rest in the crib it will confuse her?

 

asyph107

Let me preface this by saying my DS2 still does not sleep through the night, but we do not run in there for every peep. He still is hungry in the night and we don't plan on phasing that out until he is 1 if need be.

1- I would say choose a place for you LO to sleep, you can't expect them to fall asleep everywhere. They need a place that is consistent so they know that is where they sleep. (just like us)

2- it sounds like this is a hungry 4 month phase. Just make sure she is getting lots to eat when she wants and it should go away but if not thats fine.

3- Forget giving the paci again, or moving to the side, let her learn to soothe herself without those if they are only going to interupt her and your sleep.

Good Luck!!

FancyFrenchie

When LO wouldn't stop waking up at night, and since we were BFing, we ended up bed-sharing and BFing throughout the night and everyone got a lot more sleep!

skibunny59

My DD is 7 months and still doesn't STTN.  She starts out in her crib in her bedroom but usually ends up in our bed about halfway through the night.  Honestly, I sleep so much better when I just bring her back into bed with me.

mexicolombiana

Sounds pretty normal to me.  Life sucks with a baby at night.  It gets better.