Transitions (between activities, etc.)

GrayGhost13

Does anyone have any toddler-appropriate suggestions on how to transition from one activity to another?

It seems like some of DS' most frustrated moments come from being asked to stop doing something he wants to do and do something else. I get it, I really do; I'm not great at shifting from one activity to the next either and I loathe being interrupted, but sometimes we all have to do it.

I read "Raising Your Spirited Child" almost a year ago now, and I got some ideas from that (although I might re-read it soon). I try to warn DS what we're doing next and help him visualize the series of events we have planned. I'm not sure he really understands this, as he's not super verbal yet. I usually give him a warning or two and I've tried counting to 10 (which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't). Any other suggestions?

jcsumm0

DD is into saying bye-bye, so I try to excitedly say bye-bye to whatever we are leaving, "bye-bye, slide!  bye-bye, swings!" It sort of works.

This has backfired a bit because when you try to do something she doesn't want to do, she says, "bye-bye? buh-BYE!" in this desperate tone, like while you are changing her diaper or something.  But I guess it shows she gets the concept.

Ms5586

I know preschool teachers who have used a big sand timer (something like a 2 minute one), when the sand is done, it's time to switch.  But he might be a little young for that yet...

I like PP's buh-bye idea too.

CoffeeBeen

I second the bye-bye stuff.

We also give him little tasks to that tie into what we're doing next.  For instance, if he knows he gets to "drive the cart" then he's excited about getting into the car to go to the grocery store.  Or if he knows he's going to feed the cat, then he's excited about leaving the grocery store and going home.  I think it breaks down the concept into more manageable, fun pieces. 

RayRay007

I'm having trouble imaging what kind of transitions you mean. Like, in my mind you are telling him it's time to stop colouring because you're going to play with blocks now and you're controlling his play. I know that isn't what you mean, but it has me thinking "just let him colour!". Anyway, I guess you're talking about things like "ok time to stop playing because we need to get ready to go somewhere". Thankfully DD is pretty laid back but when I need her to stop with something I just tell her to say "see you later!" and she waves bye to it and we move on. I see that some pp's have suggested the same thing.

GrayGhost13

RayRay007:

I'm having trouble imaging what kind of transitions you mean. Like, in my mind you are telling him it's time to stop colouring because you're going to play with blocks now and you're controlling his play. I know that isn't what you mean, but it has me thinking "just let him colour!". Anyway, I guess you're talking about things like "ok time to stop playing because we need to get ready to go somewhere". Thankfully DD is pretty laid back but when I need her to stop with something I just tell her to say "see you later!" and she waves bye to it and we move on. I see that some pp's have suggested the same thing.

Yes, I'm talking more about your second example than the first. DS is home all day with DH, so most of his time and play are very unstructured, but there are times when we need to do something else.

Here are some examples I can think of ... For example, he's playing but it's time to come to the table and eat dinner. Or he's taking a bath on a day we're going somewhere on a schedule, and he needs to get out and get dressed so we can get out the door. Or (and this frustrates me the most), we're out somewhere (the park, the mall, etc.) and we stop to take a break and let him stretch his legs or allow him to stop and look at something that catches his attention, but then we need to move along and finish whatever it is we're doing and it's really hard to get him back to walking/riding/pushing the cart.

Karschingham

CoffeeBeen:

I second the bye-bye stuff.

We also give him little tasks to that tie into what we're doing next.  For instance, if he knows he gets to "drive the cart" then he's excited about getting into the car to go to the grocery store.  Or if he knows he's going to feed the cat, then he's excited about leaving the grocery store and going home.  I think it breaks down the concept into more manageable, fun pieces. 

all of this works for us.

hmp1

We started a reward chart. After an activity, like dinner, we go to the chart and he gets a star for saying please/thank you and/or using inside voice (we had a problem with screaming at the table). Same with when we are playing and have to go somewhere. We go to the chart and he gets a star for playing nice, cleaning up, and/or following directions. I also have him wash his hands which he loves to do. I say, lets clean up and then go wash your hands. He gets excited and cleans up real fast.

kcisthebombdotcom

We also have a similar problem. My DD is language delayed and on top of that has auditory processing difficulties so giving her instructions is equivalent to talking to the wall at times. We do the whole few minute warning/say goodbye to the slide/swing/etc routine we do with my son, but it generally doesn't work with her. Honestly, we still do mostly redirection at her age. She LOVES the magna doodle and I have a small travel one that she can play with in the car so I redirect her to that to move her past being upset.

kcisthebombdotcom

RayRay007:

I'm having trouble imaging what kind of transitions you mean. Like, in my mind you are telling him it's time to stop colouring because you're going to play with blocks now and you're controlling his play. I know that isn't what you mean, but it has me thinking "just let him colour!". Anyway, I guess you're talking about things like "ok time to stop playing because we need to get ready to go somewhere". Thankfully DD is pretty laid back but when I need her to stop with something I just tell her to say "see you later!" and she waves bye to it and we move on. I see that some pp's have suggested the same thing.

I know you mean well, but for language delayed kiddos who need extra help in learning to talk, they need to be able to transition between activities to get speech therapy. It's a skill they need to work on and be taught.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

Usually, we "prepare" DD for the transition a few minutes ahead of time.

I know young children like to know what's going on, so we give her a heads up on what we're going to do. For instance, I'll tell her "We're playing with blocks for a few more minutes and then we'll go have lunch". Then I tell her "One more minute and then we go do X". Or if it can be counted in "times", I use that (for instance, if we're at the playground and she's riding the slide, I tell her she can do it one last time). Then I'll say "All right, it's time to go do X".

If the next activity is not one she likes (for instance, DD does NOT like to go wash her hands before meals), we focus on the next activity coming up after that (she loves to eat) so it gives her something to look forward to/get excited about. 

We've used that approach for about a year now and it still works for us most of the time. Maybe it can help you, too. Good luck.

GrayGhost13

Thanks, everyone, for the suggestions! We'll keep trying and see what works.