Open Letters

jmccall79

Dear Ian,

Mommy loves you so much and I'm so proud of you.  You finally figured out that when you're crawling, it's "you" who is making  you move and can now get yourself "unstuck".  You're growing up way too fast and that kind of makes my heart hurt a little, but at the same time I love seeing you find and do new things.  I pray every night that I can be the best mommy in the world and teach you all that you need to know and raise you to be a very respectful young man.  Even though daddy's not around much, I know he loves you too.  I'm just so glad that there are other men in your life who can be a good examples to you.  We are blessed with so many people who are supportive and love us.  I'm glad I have you, and am glad for those who love us back.

Love,

Your tear filled eyed Mommy

Dear AF,

Let me start by saying I really hate you!  You came back to visit at 8 weeks pp.  Why?  I truly have no use for you.  I'm not TTC ANY TIME SOON, so there's no reason for you to show up, ever.  You've been a pain, literally, every since.  I've had to switch BC because the one I was on was making me evil, so I know that has you thrown off a little right now.  But geez, do you really have to visit every other week?  I'd really like for you to straighten your act up!  We have a dr appt in 2 weeks.  If you don't get your act together by then, we're going to have to have a little talk with the doc about you.

Sincerely,

Your annoyed host

Lena122

Dear hypocritical H,

 It makes no sense that when you're at home with the baby while I'm at work that I'm getting a "break" but while you're at work and I'm home with the baby you're "working" and I'm apparently doing nothing. Your work is not more difficult than mine and we are both fully capable of handling our easy going baby. Either work is difficult for both of us or taking care of Munchkin is difficult for both of us. You thinking that both are difficult for you and both are a breeze for me is NOT FAIR.

Love,

Your hardworking wife

 

bikitybinx

Dear Evil Teething Monster,

Leave my baby alone.  You've bothered her long enough.  She needs a break. She's got all the time in the world to get her teeth, there is no reason to prolong it like this, almost 5 weeks already.  Just push the flipping teeth through, for chrissake.  I hate seeing her in pain.

Distressed Mama 

 

k3montel

 I have several today...

Dear PJ's new teeth,

   Please just pop through already!!!! PJ and his parents are sick of the pain you are causing him. Thanks!

signed...exhausted mommy of a teething baby

 

Dear Boob...

   Stop hurting!

Your Annoyed Owner

 

Dear DH,

    I did NOT make the mess you were referring to this morning, I wasn't even home until 8 o'clock last night. Please pay attention to what you are doing, and you will see that YOU are, in fact, the one making the mess.

    Also, please stop being so grumpy all the time! I can't handle having everyone in my house grumpy!

Wife

 

Dear Work,

     Stop making me get up so early every day. I'm tired! Also, new administrator, please stop...well everything...I am becoming more and more suspicious of you as I learn of the things you are doing.

     I will not be signing a new contract in June. I need to find a place that appreciates what an awesome teacher they have. I also need to go somewhere that is not surrounded by scandals (see above, new administrator).

Sincerely,

  Your (not so) Loyal Employee for the last five years

 

Dear AF,

   I agree with PP, stop visiting every other week. You've been back since 7 weeks pp, get over yourself, and get yourself regulated!

Annoyed you're back 

    

Sorry if I sound extra whiney today...see "Dear AF". 

lancyjo

Dear Aria,

When I'm sitting on the floor, why must you feel the need to crawl over to me, climb over me onto the couch, then attempt to skydive off of said couch? It's tiring, and frankly I'm a bit terrified at this new daredevil status of yours. I don't care if Daddy says it's cute, he's a bit of a daredevil idiot himself at times. I love you, and would like to keep you around a bit longer.

Hoping this is a (quickly passing) phase, Mommy

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Dear hubs,

You're amazing and you spoil me and every other woman on Earth should be jealous. That said, if you continue to encourage our daughter to be a daredevil like you, I'll be forced to strangle you. We don't want that, now do we?

Wife

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Throat,

Quit hurting. I hate you right now.

Annoyed, the head you're attached to.

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Feb. 12 Mommas,

We've been a little slow lately. I don't want us to turn into one of those ghost boards that has one post a month. Don't let this happen, ok? I need you guys.

Lancyjo

megahof

Dear Hubster,
Why is it that you're allowed to complain if you get less than 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but I'm expected to function without complaint on less than 4? Doesn't that seem a little unfair to you?
Love, Your Wife, Who, by the way, Doesn't Want Sex When She's Exhausted

Dear Cat 2,
I'm so, so sorry, but this weekend is it: you stink, and we must give you a bath. I can't snuggle with a stinky animal.
Air kisses, Your Person

Dear Mom of one of my Favorite Students,
Just because I love your daughter doesn't mean I love you. She works her butt off for me, but you are a pain. I hope she rebels against you one day soon.
Signed, Your Child's Piano Teacher, Not Your Doormat

Dear Almost SIL,
I am so, so sorry about your brother. I know you were close, and it breaks my heart to see you so devastated.
That said, your brother's suicide will not make me suddenly cherish my own brother, who is lucky to have you. I'm sorry, but I can't forget years of him treating me so horribly. The process is a slow one. I hope you understand.
Love, Your Almost SIL

Dear Earth,
Please slow your rotations. I need a few more hours each day to accomplish everything I need to do before Thanksgiving.
Signed, Exhausted Earthling

NatnDyl

Dear Connor,

I love you so much! I would much rather spend the day with you, but I need to get to work on time so please stop wiping snot on me when I give  you a good bye hug. Also lets work on saying "mamama" this "dadada" business is cool and all, but I'd love a shout out.

Love, Mommy

Dear DH,

I love you so much! I'd love it a bit more if you were around ever. I think I told you not to take so many classes so I'm not interested in hearing that you have too much homework.

Love, Your wife who could use a night off

 Dear Work,

I don't have time for this anymore. I have about 50 books I want to read, a sewing project, lots of plans with friends, and of course, a super cute baby I'd rather being hanging with. How about you keep paying me, but I don't work?

Signed, It can't hurt to wish

Mar5195

Dear Dad,

I don't think I'll ever fully appreciate all your truly do for my family.   That you delayed your retirement for 5 more years so that my Mom could stay home and take care of my son just blows me away.  Mom says that when you are having a bad day from work you come home, hold my son and say "He fixes everything".   I don't often get to see your interactions with my son.   But I found this photo and it melted me.  The way he is looking at you, the eye contact just show his true love for you.  And I couldn't ask for anything better.   Thank you Dad!  All my love, your Daughter

 

 

jju_stb_jju

My dearest son,
I'm so sorry for your er trip monday, seeing you in that much pain during the tests they did hurt more than anything I have ever been through. I would have gladly taken your place if it meant you weren't hurting anymore. Hearing you cry is a knife to my heart a knife that was dipped in lemon juice before being stabbed into my chest, you didn't even cry when I had you so to hear your screams was torture to a moms ears. I'm so so grateful you are feeling better now and I have my smiling happy baby back!
Love you always and forever,
Your mother

Dear dh,
Thank you for being our rock, you were strong for our son when I broke down at the hospital, you held him, rocked him, did everything the staff asked and did it without fear and hesitation. I'm so amazed by you and everything you do for us, if I haven't told you today or said it enough, I love you.
Love
Your very grateful and blessed wife

Dear annoying pregnant friend on fb,
No I don't care how many times you threw up today, nobody cares about your every kick from the baby or how much you love your dh of less than 6 months, geez shut your trap hole already. You're not the first woman to ever be pregnant, hell you're not even doing anything other than sitting at home cause you complained so much to your dh that at 11 weeks pregnant the baby hurt you too much you couldn't work so you sit at home all day understandably with time on your hands, but please nobody cares all that much, well probably except your family. You think its hard right now and you can't sleep and can't rest, wth makes you think you will be doing those things when the baby comes. Ugh sorry to be such a biotch today but I'm just not in the mood, I have more important things on my mind than answering your every text about your symptoms and if I ever had them, so in other words LEAVE ME THE F ALONE!!!!
sorry to be mean, I just hate when people are over dramatic
Signed
Your very annoyed friend

liberty95

Dear Munchkin,

You are a wonderful, adorable, perfect addition to my life and I love you more than I can say. However, you should know that you are just a little less wonderful and adorable and perfect when you wake for the day at 4 am.

Love always, your tired momma

Ps you should also know that by the time I have a cup or 3 of coffee you have fully regained your best baby status

btartaroind

Dear DH,

When I say "Wow, I am exhausted" while pregnant, I don't appreciate the "Yea, everyone is" comment back...

Love, your really tired human-growing wife.

 

Dear JB,

Why don't you sleep through the night anymore? I will pretend it is because you just want to cuddle with mommy in the middle of the night, but mommy is super tired and likes her sleep too You were doing so well for a while, those last two teeth really screwed us up!

Love, "mamamamama"

 

Dear boobs,

OUCH! Can you be a little bit nicer to me please! For heaven's sake just watching the "boob fight" on New Girl last night made me want to cry!

Love, The rest of your body.