Scared!!

RedCherry1109

I had an M/C at 4 weeks 6 days (start spotting at 4 weeks and 4 days) back in August and tomorrow is the day I started to spot in the last pregnancy. I am so scared that its going to happen again. We haven't even DTD since the 13th and I'm afraid too until we see the Doctor. I wont see the Doctor for another 4 weeks.

How do/did you get over your fears?? 

tracyfromnh

I'm so sorry you're having a scare right now.  To be honest, I have no trick to get over your fears, I'm googling stuff every day and freaking myself out.  It's just day by day, and I hope the longer I can carry this sprout, the more confident I will feel.  Hopefully the same will be with you.

RedCherry1109

tracyfromnh:

I'm so sorry you're having a scare right now.  To be honest, I have no trick to get over your fears, I'm googling stuff every day and freaking myself out.  It's just day by day, and I hope the longer I can carry this sprout, the more confident I will feel.  Hopefully the same will be with you.

Yes I google ever day too. 

uneek1323

{{hugs}}

ilenegrace

I'm sorry! I don't think you ever get over your fears you just find ways to cope. ((HUGS))

RedCherry1109

Thanks Ladies!! 

bumpuser2669861

So sorry you are feeling this way - we have pretty much all been there/are there.  All I can say is that it does get a little easier day by day.  I am just now starting to relax a bit. 

atangiblewish

You just have to remember this is a different pregnancy and live day by day. Try not to stress, I know its hard...I have my freak out moments  (see post from last night) but you just have to keep telling yourself nothing you do will change whatever is supposed to be...I'm sending you lots of warm thoughts!

KikiCohen

I don't know what advice to give you, as I'm really new to this.  I've just been taking things a little bit at a time.  Hang in there, BIM!

RedCherry1109

atangiblewish:

You just have to remember this is a different pregnancy and live day by day. Try not to stress, I know its hard...I have my freak out moments  (see post from last night) but you just have to keep telling yourself nothing you do will change whatever is supposed to be...I'm sending you lots of warm thoughts!

Thank you!

Yes they are different, last one I never felt pregnant and I could only get a faint positive and I had to wait the 3 minutes for it to show up. This pregnancy, its still dark and shows up right away.  Hoping that's a sign that everything is going to work out!!

Faith7

(((hugs)))

 

I'm in the same predicament.  I had a MC 4 weeks 6 days in March.  Yesterday was 4 weeks 6 days for me this pregnancy.  I thought everything would be okay if I got through yesterday, but today I'm just as anxious as I was yesterday.

DH is scared, too. He says he doesn't feel any joy yet--just fear and anxiety about what might happen.  He's usually the last one to worry about stuff.

Tonight I decided that I am my embryo's mother, and I am not going to be a fearful mother.  Where does the anxiety stop, if not now?  When I'm in the second trimester?  When our baby's born?  There will be all kinds of other things to worry about then.  When our child is 5?  10?  25?  When will I feel like everything's going to be okay and I can stop holding my breath?

 I don't believe it's something that I can wait to do until everything feels safe. I don't think it's ever going to feel safe. I think it's something I have to decide to do now, for my sake as much as for the sake of my child.  I refuse to live in fear, and I will not teach my child to live in fear.  Today I have my embryo.  Today I love him or her.  Today I mother him or her as much as is within my power.  Maybe s/he will die tomorrow.  Maybe s/he will die at 25 years old.  Maybe at 85.  If I'm alive, I will weep when that happens.  Until then, I'm going to enjoy what relationship we do have.  All I have is this moment, and fear will not rob me of it.

In fact, this is the decision that I made at the beginning of my last pregnancy--the one that miscarried at 4 weeks 6 days.  In the end, I was glad I had that enjoyed all 5 days that I knew I was pregnant, that I had "mothered" my embryo the best I could for those days.

But this time I had to struggle to that same decision all over again, because the fear is real and the danger isn't pretend.  And there's no way around it--only through it. 

RedCherry1109

Thanks Ladies y'all have been very helpful!! 

Albah

I really love what faith wrote. I still have my fears, it is not easy, but i try to love that little blob with each passing day. We love our family and our husbands to the fullest each and every day, we don't hold back for the fear of losing them. I try to remind myself of this every day and try to enjoy every moment. It doesn't take away the worries but then again, having a child is the end of no worries. Huge hug and i hope you find some peace; our situation is not an easy one but you will survive it taking it a day at a time!

Gregermis

I'm religious and kept praying:

"God, thank you so much that today I'm pregnant.  I pray that I"m still pregnant tomorrow and the day after".  Then tried not to get any farther ahead than that.  I still say that prayer every night and probably will until 37 wks. 

And if it makes you feel better.  DH and I haven't had sex since April and are thinking we might try once during this pg on christmas.

RedCherry1109

Gregermis:

I'm religious and kept praying:

"God, thank you so much that today I'm pregnant.  I pray that I"m still pregnant tomorrow and the day after".  Then tried not to get any farther ahead than that.  I still say that prayer every night and probably will until 37 wks. 

And if it makes you feel better.  DH and I haven't had sex since April and are thinking we might try once during this pg on christmas.

Thank you, It does make me feel a little better...LOL!!