WWYD?

srmmm09

SOooooooo I think one of my subconscious goals in life is to throw things at my husband out of the blue. just to keep him on his toes. because I love him so much!

 Anyway. As you know, we're adopting from Uganda, and are currently on the wait list with our agency. Well, I just came across a list of waiting children from another agency in Uganda, and two of the children seem like they could be good fits for our family.

We've requested more information so that we can talk about it with a pediatrician we know who lived in Nigeria for many years. If we did adopt one of them, we could have them home in the Spring (versus having to wait 1 year + with our current agency), but we'd lose $3000. 

I should also say that this week is literally the second craziest week of our year, so we have no business making decisions right now.

So, WWYD? Would you switch gears or stay he course?

IRR

Why don't you wait until your crazy week is over and then make a rationale decision.  $3K is nothing to sneeze about, but if you are itching for a new addition to the family sooner than later then it should be considered once you are in a place to make a clear thought out decision.

raecheleblue1

It doesn't hurt to ask for more information and talk with your Dr.  That could take a couple of weeks and by then maybe things will be less hectic for you and the decision may seem clearer.  $3k may seem like a lot, but in the grand scheme of adoption it's really not a deal breaker in my mind.  

DaisyZH

Personally I wouldn't worry about the $3,000 - I know it's a lot of money but if one of these children is meant to be, then I think you would never ever regret losing that money. 

I would examine your feelings and your DH's feelings, do you want to switch course because you feel a strong urge to adopt these specific children, or is it tempting because of the shortened wait time?  I'm not sure if the children on the wait list are older or have special needs, but I would just make sure to get as much info as possible from your pediatrician so that you are really clear on what treatments/support/specialized education they would need once adopted.

FWIW if it were me I would do it because I am constantly falling in love with kids on photo listings, but just do your research, talk it through, talk to the pediatrician and follow your heart. 

AwBeth

I think the PPs have given excellent advice.  In the grand scheme of things, $3000 isn't too big of a deal if you believe this is the way to go.  

 We actually had a similar situation (although it didn't require switching agencies, it would have cost a little more and sped up our timeline), but when we found out more medical info about the child, we realized it was WAY more than we originally thought.  It was extremely difficult to say "no" at that point, but we had to do what was best for the child and our family.  So hopefully you can get more info and that will really help you make the decision.  Good luck! 

jillianmb

Switch gears.  We're adopting a waiting child too and the minute I saw his picture I went from, "I'll travel ONCE and with a program that's $25,000 or less" to "Why SURE I'll travel three times and spend $35,000!!!!" 

 Okay so at first I thought we only had to travel twice, but still.  When it's your baby, it's your baby and you will move heaven and earth.  

Praying for your and DH's wisdom and discernment! 

Blsd4given

DaisyZH:

Personally I wouldn't worry about the 3,000 I know it's a lot of moneynbsp;but if one of these children is meant to be, then I think you would never ever regret losing that money.nbsp;
I would examine your feelings and your DH's feelings, do you want to switch course because you feel a strong urge to adopt these specific children, or is it tempting because of the shortened wait time?nbsp; I'm not sure if the children on the wait list are older or have special needs, but I would just make sure to get as much info as possible from your pediatrician so that you are really clear on what treatments/support/specialized education they would need once adopted.
FWIW if it were me I would do it because I am constantly falling in love with kids on photo listings, but just do your research, talk it through, talk to the pediatrician and follow your heart.nbsp;

All of this. If it were me, I'd probably go for it. If they weren't a right fit, we'd reluctantly have to let it go. But I'd investigate further with barely a second thought.

srmmm09

Thanks, y'all! We're looking to see if it'd be possible for us to adopt her through our agency since Uganda doesn't care about stuff like that. I'm sure it's totally taboo, but our agency is amazing and we'd hate to give them up. They're a total security blanket in this crazy world of adoption.