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Parenting
MIL making me CRAZY!!
My DS will be a year this weekend. I have endlessly planned his perfect 1st birthday party. Me and DH both live away from our families. His family is 7 hours and mine is 2 hours away. DH's sister also lives in the same town as us. Okay wouldn't most people "assume" that DH's fam would say w/ SIL and my fam would stay w/ us- since there is no other family on my side that live here. NO- my crazy MIL just assumes she will stay w/ us and gets furious that she can't b/c my parents and grandparents will need a place to stay. Me and DH are the only ones w/ a baby, my SIL suffers from infertility and my brother is not married. She then procedes to write on my mom's facebook page that she really needs some alone time w/ "her baby" my son, and hopes that she can have some just "Him and Her" time even though there will be alot of family in town. Who does that? Seriously I feel like I'm deeling w/ my husband's 10 year old sister, not his crazy mother. My mom was very upset and called me to say that she will be keeping a low profile at the party- I am beyond pissed that my family will feel like they have to take a back seat b/c my overbearing and annoying LOUD MIL feels the need to have all the attention on her and "her baby". HE IS NOT YOUR BABY!!!!!! He is my baby and my husband's baby! Gosh- does that drive anyone else crazy? We skype w/ them at least twice a week and she constantly makes comments like "Nana wuvs you more dan anyone else on the planet". She also said " I bet you wuvs your daddy more than ANYTHING!!" My DH replied- well he loves his mama too! MIL says, honey they all do right now- it's only bc she's Breast feeding him. Let me just tell you that she cried when he was 1st born bc she couldn't give him a bottle. I was very private about BFing and would only BF infront of my DH and my mom. She would sit in the same room with me until I asked her to please leave and give me some privacy and then she would start crying. She also totally embarrassed me infront of DH's whole family when I snuck away to nurse- she announced to everyone- Oh She has to go BREAST feed him. I was getting super tired of the whole BREAST feeding issue- so I asked her if she nursed and she responded- No- she thought it was gross. GROSS???? That's the way God intended mothers to provide food for their babies you freaking idiot. DS is not walking yet and she is convinced he's not walking b/c I would not buy him a walker. Her perfect children walked early b/c they had walkers- but I won't let her buy him one so that's why he's not walking. LAST rant- she CONSTANTLY says he looks just like DH or her father. It's stupid how my baby boy will do that tiniest thing and she says "OH he got that from my father- he use to hold his pinky up when he would drink from a glass." Wow. IF I hear that he is a "MINI DH" one more flippin time I'm going to flip tables. You know what maybe he got some characteristics from my side of the family. I stay home w/ DS and she makes comments like "Your mommy won't let anyone else watch you!"... DRIVES me crazy. NO I'm not going to let my 1 year old spend a weekend 7 hours away from me.
ANYONE else in this boat... kill me now.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL making me CRAZY!!
I agree with Boston Kisses. Your hubby is already on board so see if he can help run interference a bit.
I agree. Stop engaging her and she'll have less to say. Be brief and to the point when speaking and let her know you're not going to waste your time arguing because it's your child and your home.
Let your MIL stay over one night and have her do one on one time with him first thing in the morning while you sleep in.
Oh and have wine at the party, you will need it.
tl;dr.
Sorry.
Alright alright- excuse me for the rant snd sorry for the "ramblyness"... Thanks to those who gave me good advice. TO the others out there, you're welcome for the laugh. Guess I'll think twice about being honest on this board. I was just looking for some support- guess not.
Done w/ the bump for sure.
Haha
Sorry that we're honest? What did you want us to say? I seriously think that you may be over reacting to some stuff because of the legitimate complaints. But these responses are pretty helpful and not a whole lot of snark. If you can't handle this, then The Bump is probably not for you.
You want support? Get a good bra.
Some of the things that bother you are legit. Some are ridic. Chill out a bit, and learn to use paragraphs.
You have my complete condolences.
Oh, and:
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Well, yes. It had to be said, and someone had to be brave enough to say it.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Apparently we're supposed to "kill them with kindness," but seriously that is freakin difficult sometimes!!
I think when you stay at home with your baby, it makes other family members that much more jealous of your relationship with YOUR baby. Weird. You'd think relatives would be happy that they have a wonderful daughter-in-law who loves their grandchild (her child) and does a terrific job of taking care of him!! But, no... they'd rather make things about THEM instead and ignore the fact that you are being a great mom.
I would really love to hear what an exceptional job I am doing of taking care of my son...... INSTEAD of listening to my in-laws *complain* about how they cannot watch DS! Give me a freakin break!! My kid, my responsibility. When I want someone else taking care of him I'll be happy to ask, but in the mean time be satisfied that my role as a mother means so much to me and I am being the best mom I can be.
So, my advice to you is ignore her request for "alone time" (I find that weird and unnecessary!) and just enjoy your baby's 1st Birthday! Ask her for help doing tasks to prepare for the party and hope that keeps her busy enough to keep her off your back!
Happy 1st Birthday to your DS!
HAHAHAA! LOVE THIS!
Sofamonkey makes me laugh a lot. I didn't see this the other day and am glad it was bumped back up.
First, put your big girl panties on. No one said anything to GBCB over.
I feel your pain with your MIL. I felt the same way when my children were infants. My MIL would make comments that just got under my skin~ DD was a mini-DH. She would call DD her baby, took her out of my bedroom one night, b!tched at me because I let her wear shoes, and drink whole milk. (Apparently no-nos in the 1970s). She made me cry when I was 8 months pregnant because my mother bought DD a swingset and MH asked FIL to help him put it together when they were visiting (she had mean things to say about my mother). She makes up rules at our house & for our children when she is around (she lives 9 hours away) and makes all sorts of snide comments. Because of her negativeness & rudeness, relationship is cordial when around each other but non-existant otherwise. Therefore, her relationship with my children is about the same. I feel like she made her bed...natural consequences & stuff...of course she hasn't learned. She has visited twice this year and we have been in over 4 years. I am not sure how much MH talked to his mother but when they come because of his work, I am the almost sole source of entertainment. He doesn't help or communicate with them either. Her daughter is the same way with her. I think its a lot to do with her negativeness & passive agressiveness...sad, sad, sad because I do wish my kids could have a better relationship with her but at the same time, I feel I need to protect them from her also.