how long to CIO?

amber31288

For those that did CIO, how bad was your first night? We've been trying it for what seems like awhile, but got off track a few nights. I know consistency is key, so we started over tonight.

How long did your LO cry the first night? DD woke at 10, went to sleep after the first time I checked on her. She was crying again about 15 mins later. Let her cry 5 mins, thought she was back asleep. Crying again after 15 mins. From there, the crying hasn't stopped. That was probably around 10:45 and its midnight now. We had originally agreed with our doctor to not let her cry over a half hour straight. She gets hysterical and doesn't calm down. However, what we've been doing is just not working. I feel like she needs to put herself to sleep.

So, is over an hour completely ridiculous? When would you pull the plug? I am going in at set intervals and trying to calm her, but nothing does the trick. Was the second night just as awful?

And seriously, how do I not feel awful listening to her cry for so long? I feel horrible knowing that is how she fell asleep if she ever does. I'm crying too!

boilerup227

No good answer here but I am lying here listening to my baby cry as well. It's awful.

My DS takes a loooong time to CIO. So, I do one if two things I listen to his cries and go based on those and I don't let him go over an hour sounds awful, I know. But, if he ever gives me his cry that tells me he's really in distress, I am immediately in there. HTH and good luck. It's rough... I never thought I would be at this point.

cheese.fiend

Are you using a particular sleep training method?

We did Ferber and his method for nighttime says to keep checking on them at progressive intervals until they fall asleep...no matter how long it takes. For naps, he says no longer than an hour.

I honestly don't know if I could stand it for longer than an hour, so I totally feel for you! The longest L ever cried was 45 minutes. It got much better very quickly after our initial two nights. And, FWIW, we didn't do CIO much for wake ups in the night. We really only needed it for falling asleep initially and then naps.

Are you sure she's not wet or dirty or hungry? I'm sure you've checked! Good luck! I hope it gets better!

MollySm

We found that going in to check made it much worse, so we just let her go, and that took 30 or so minutes.

boilerup227

Same here in that check ins make it eat worse. I WISH I could check in and provide comfort but it really ramps him up.

boilerup227

We are still crying over here after an hour. Into his room I go, this is just awful... :

NatesLady1309

amber31288:

And seriously, how do I not feel awful listening to her cry for so long? I feel horrible knowing that is how she fell asleep if she ever does. I'm crying too!

This was the worst part about CIO for me, knowing how she fell asleep. But it improved so so much so quickly. It took us less than a week to be out of the thick of it. It was so worth it. We still have our tougher days, but she sleeps SO MUCH better now. FWIW, I don't think over an hour, even 2 hours is crazy. I would just do a check in at the point you feel appropriate mostly for YOUR sanity and to assure LO you truly haven't left forever.  

Jen0204

We did CIO twice.  The first time we tried for 2 nights and I lasted 20 minutes each night before pulling the plug on it.  They were just getting more and more worked up and were hysterical and it felt wrong.  We gave up, tried again a few weeks later and they cried for 2 minutes for 2 nights and that was it.  After the second night we could lay them down awake and they would roll over and go to sleep.  They still don't STTN (up once a night for a bottle), but they go down well and don't get up as much.  For naps, if they wake up after 15-20 minutes and start fussing we leave them be and they never cry for more then 5 minutes before they're out again now.

I realize that my story is anecdotal and could very well not be how it works out for others, but I'm a firm believer in trusting your gut.  Sleep is definitely extremely important and I believe that it's our job to help teach them to sleep well, but we also have to know when to sleep train.  I think knowing when they're ready for it is harder then actually doing it.  I'm not at all saying that your LO isn't ready for it, but just that if it doesn't work now don't be discouraged and just try again in a couple of weeks.

Good luck!

naturegal79

Reece never went longer than 45 min's. Which only happend once and on the first night.  It got better after that and for a week now he has been STTN for 10 hours straight. Totally worth it, you just have to be strong. I do have to agree with everyone else that going in an checking on them while they are screaming their head off is the worst thing to do. Obviously they see you and want you, then when you l leave they freak... it's like your teasing them!

joie12

Like others, checking seems to make it worse for us. Now, she will usually cry for 3-5 minutes at bedtime. Sometimes it's longer, but that's about it. The middle of the night, though, is when she seems to prefer to scream. 

Here's my mom-fail moment: one night she was screaming screaming screaming, for like 50 minutes. Finally I told H to go in and check on her (my presence makes it worse). He walked in, and said through the monitor "I know what the problem is!" Yeah, my cold had stuffed me up so much that I couldn't smell her poop.  

Jen0204

joie12:

Finally I told H to go in and check on her (my presence makes it worse).

This is an excellent point - H going in to check on them works much better then me going in.  They've been especially clingy lately, to the point where Saturday night I went and watched TV in the bedroom for an hour so that they would actually play with H because they both kept whining and climbing all over me and didn't want me playing with the other one and wouldn't have anything to do with H.  As soon as I was gone they played great and had a lot of fun with H.  On fussy nights they go down easier for him too.