Good news and a vent

10-4LilBuddy

I got a letter from my insurance company today and it turns out that we haven't used up all of our lifetime IF coverage yet!  Hooray!  We have enough to do one more Femara + Ovidrel + IUI cycle next month before we do an IVF in February.  So glad that I requested a full audit from them after they said we had used all our coverage!

Vent - Bkgd - I have a very good relationship with my nine year old step daughter who lives with us full time.  I also have a good relationship with my MIL.  Both have been asking for a sibling / grandchild and we have always replied that we can hope for one, but we'll just have to see (vague but hopeful).  DH doesn't want to tell his family our issues. 

So, step daughter came home from a shopping trip with my MIL this Saturday.  The kiddo did the obligatory fashion show of all her purchases.  I noticed she had a new bracelet with a charm.  I asked her to show it to me - "Big Sister".  Her mom isn't married or pregnant.  So, I asked them why she got that charm.  MIL says that it was SD's idea and she really wanted it.  Grrr.... like I need a piece of jewelry pressuring me too.  DH told his mom privately to knock it off.  She's lucky she didn't get a big ugly cry from me.  You'd think his mom would figure it out when she's been asking for almost 3 years and gets the same answer.  Sheesh.

jbelle

Congrats on getting all the IF coverage you're entitled to! (And that there's still some more!)

FWIW, I'm the daughter in a blended family. Perhaps your MIL's willingness to buy the charm for your SD, and SD's desire for it, reflects the positive feelings both of them share toward you.

I am so sorry you're going through IF issues and feeling unpleasant pressure, but just know that as a step-daughter, this brief story made me think: "aw, your step-daughter really loves you and I bet your MIL is so thankful that her granddaughter has a step-mom (who she lives with!) like you!" 

Kudos to your DH for stepping up for you!

I hope you don't end up needing any OOP IF treatments!

owlprof

I'm so glad you get another covered cycle!  We are on the same treatment page -- I'm doing Femara + Ovidrel + IUI this cycle and then moving on to IVF after that. 

I agree with pp that the story of your stepdaughter is sweet.  A weird extra kind of pressure for you, but sweet nonetheless!

robbensm

Well that is good news!  As for the vent, I know they both have the best of intentions but I can see where that would sting a bit. Hugs!

BeckyP005

That's great news!!!

 

happywifemomofone

jbelle:

Congrats on getting all the IF coverage you're entitled to! (And that there's still some more!)

FWIW, I'm the daughter in a blended family. Perhaps your MIL's willingness to buy the charm for your SD, and SD's desire for it, reflects the positive feelings both of them share toward you.

I am so sorry you're going through IF issues and feeling unpleasant pressure, but just know that as a step-daughter, this brief story made me think: "aw, your step-daughter really loves you and I bet your MIL is so thankful that her granddaughter has a step-mom (who she lives with!) like you!" 

Kudos to your DH for stepping up for you!

I hope you don't end up needing any OOP IF treatments!

This is what I would say if I could be so eloquent. 

10-4LilBuddy

Thanks ladies for reminding me what's important.  I am lucky to have a step daughter and MIL that I love and love me in return.  I think what stung and took me aback is that using a Big Sister shirt or charm was one of the ways that I imagined announcing my pregnancy.  I guess I'll just have to daydream another plan.

jbelle

10-4LilBuddy:

Thanks ladies for reminding me what's important.  I am lucky to have a step daughter and MIL that I love and love me in return.  I think what stung and took me aback is that using a Big Sister shirt or charm was one of the ways that I imagined announcing my pregnancy.  I guess I'll just have to daydream another plan.

You have every right to vent and it is definitely not okay for your MIL to pressure you (or use your SD to do so!). I hope you know that it was just awesome--as a step daughter, myself--to see such a great relationship in just a few words. I don't know you, but in those few words, it was clear: you're pretty awesome. That's all I wanted you to know.

You owe yourself a pat on the back (really, more than!) and a spectacular new baby announcement concept. I can't wait to hear about the big announcement when it comes.