Hardest job ever!!

laraashleyt

This is truly the hardest job ever. My husband has gone back to work, and I am very overwhelmed. The twins do "okay" on our 3 hour feeding schedule in the afternoons but they don't seem to stick to it very well at night. I'm really trying to make it quiet, dark and routine, but it seems that Dexter (boy) seems to wake up and whine throughout the night. I feel like I am getting VERY little sleep which makes me really overwhelmed in the afternoon. 

Also, when they both wake up in the the afternoon at the same time and want to be fed, how is everyone doing that? It's SO hard to feed 2 at the same time. I'm propping pillows up on the couch and trying to make it work but there's got to be an easier way.  I'm just really overwhelmed right now and hoping it will get easier!!!! 

mamatotwins0812

Girl you are not alone. We've all been there and I wrote (many) similar posts just feeling like I would never make it through. I can tell you that at 3 months, I am finally starting to feel human again so it will happen I promise.

 I had/have a very whiny LO also. Quite frankly drives me nuts sometimes so I feel your pain. Sometimes I'd rather he just scream and get it over rather than whimper constantly. My guys were in the nicu so lucky for me they were used to the 3 hour routine. For me, I just set an alarm and got up every 3 hours to keep them on schedule. Don't wait for them to wake up bc it will be a nightmare for you. I was very strict to the routine and it ended up being a natural progression. 

During the day, how I mastered feeding both was by propping one of my legs/lap (I put my feet up on the ottoman) and the other in the Boppy next to me. You can also put 2 boppys in front of you but I find this is killer on the back but works. At this age they're so tiny that they dissolve into the center of the pillow. Drape a blanket over it and they sit better and it makes it more manageable.

I wish I could tell you the sleep gets better soon but it doesn't. It was/is my biggest struggle but you just have to get through this "survival" period and you'll start to feel better. You are right, it is the most difficult job ever and I don't think ever gets easier. Hang in there though bc you're not alone and this board is a great place to come for advice or when you're hanging on by a thread. Hugs.  

leapgirl8

I promise, by Valentine's Day you'll be looking back at this time and wondering how you survived, and your life will already be much easier. The constant care that 2-week-old babies require doesn't last forever. We got to about 4 months and all of the sudden it was so much better. You just have to hang on - and when you think about it, that's the only choice you have. You can do this, and just come on here and vent as much as you need. 

thetwinkies&Vivi

I try to stagger the day/afternoon feeds where it's one,then the other right after. Otherwise, I have one in my lap,and one beside me. I rest after their lunchtime feed when DD1 is napping so that helps me not feel too tired.

Both of ours have MSPI, and severe reflux (they're on a medical formula and meds) so I feel you on the fussy part.

Im only a month in and it's already easier,as we've gotten into a routine and I. Starting to pick up on their cues/likes/dislikes etc. 

Reilly626

I'm with you!!! I'm sleep deprived big time and they are 3 months old. This is a 2 person job and I miss my husband so much! It gets easier but when they both scream to eat its soooooo hard! Hang in there!

mirnb

You are right about that! But it will get better...3.5 months was the golden time for us and its only gotten better...it seems long in the moment but at almost a year in I have no idea where this year has went! Whatever happens just try to stay calm and positive as much as you can and when you can't just go to another room for a few mins and let it all out! It will get better! I liked to feed them in RnP's..they are the perfect height and it doesn't kill your back! 

emilyec1

Do you have a twin nursing pillow? If not that will help so much with the tandem feeding! I love the My Brest Friend pillow.

It IS hard but you can do this!! 

FML8608

You all are scaring me! lol. I'm glad I read this before I brought them home so I could know in advance that any overwhelmed feeling will be "normal'

laraashleyt

Thank you ladies. This board is so nice to vent and let it out. You all truly understand my current pain. I appreciate your words of encouragement! I'm hanging on..... 

futuremrs.hunt

I totally agree it is the hardest job ever!! My boys will be 3 months next week andI totally agree with PP who said it gets a little easier every day! I'm also so happy to hear other moms say it got even easier at 3 and 4 months! Sleep deprivation is awful but you will rejoice with every little bit more you get as they start sleeping longer! As PP said, I always feed mine at the same time. When I was nursing, I used a thing nursing pillow. We are formula only now tho so I use 2 Boppys, one on either side of me while sitting on the couch. Another thing that has helped me is my husband taking the "dream feed" between 10 and 11 pm. I go to bed before 10 most nights, he stays up to feed the babies and I get some pretty good sleep in until they wake up in the middle of the night. A friend who has twins suggested this and it has been a lifesaver! Hang in there time really does fly and they will be 3 months old before you know it!!

AmyJoy728

It is hard but every week got a little easier until 3 months where everyone slept a little more. We never woke them up every 3 hrs and we both got up for every night feed.

I fed one in my lap and one on a boppy and as the months went the burping got easier. If you need to walk away to get your composure, do it! Hang in there.

kiwi443

sing4mysavior:

Definitely the hardest job ever!' Like other said, one day at a time...our life also got a LOT better at 4 months...I know that probably seems forever away, but you CAN do this, you ARE doing this, and you WILL survive! Do not tell yourself it shouldn't be this hard or you're not doing a good job...it's HARD! Hang in there, sweetie!

All of this!

Hang in there. I promise that you won't feel like a sleep-deprived zombie forever.

snoangel79

Are you bf-ing? If so I have no advice because I only pumped and now ff. With FF it's easy and I was doing it since my kids were home at 37w (3 weeks in NICU). If you have Boppies, you just put them on the rug with each kid in one, put a bib on, and a blanket rolled like a jelly roll under the bottle, and sit and feed them. Then burp accordingly. My kids still eat like this. It will get easier when they sleep more! I think I was a zombie for at least 2 months >:

KDR1979

The first 12 weeks are SO SO SO hard! If I knew then what I know now, I would have hired someone to be with me everyday for the first 12 weeks. DH only had 1 week off work and my mom could only come 1-2days/ week, so I was by myself most of the time. Our babies came @ 36 weeks and I fed them individually until they were about 7-8 weeks old. I would feed one and then immediately feed the other to keep them on the same schedule. At 2 months, we got 2 bouncer seats that sat them up pretty tall and then sat on a stool in front of them to feed them at the same time while they sat in bouncers. I still do bottles this way or in their high chairs. I didn't put my high chairs together  until they were 4 mos old, but they recline back and I probably could have used those sooner.

Take shifts with DH at night. I used to sleep 10pm-2am and then DH would sleep 230-630am and then go to work! For awhile...that was the only sleep we got. @ 9 weeks, the babies started to sleep 12am-5am, so we could sleep 1-5am at the same time again and then I would just do the 5am feed so DH could sleep a little more and go to work (I took an extended leave from work). The babies slept 8 hours/night when they were 11 weeks old. Nights are fairly good now ~9pm-6 or 7am, but I do get a 4am wake up a lot...but still it is WAY better than the first 10-12 weeks.

Hang in there and do what you have to do to survive!!

 

macschic

I feel ya! Going through the same thing now. In fact, I just hired a mother's helper to get me through the next month. It is too hard doing this solo! 

Ruthie04

You are not alone! We hit four weeks tomorrow and this is so hard. I'm terrified of being left alone for long periods of time and we have been so lucky to have parents that agreed to stay with us though the first six weeks. I don't know how I will feed them alone! One baby has horrible spit up issues and the other fights the bottle. Breastfeeding has been a nightmare, but I'm still torturing myself to try to make it work so we can do both formula and breast. 

This period totally sucks, but I'm trying to take comfort in what others have said. I have to believe this will all get better really soon! 

laraashleyt

snoangel79:

Are you bf-ing? If so I have no advice because I only pumped and now ff. With FF it's easy and I was doing it since my kids were home at 37w (3 weeks in NICU). If you have Boppies, you just put them on the rug with each kid in one, put a bib on, and a blanket rolled like a jelly roll under the bottle, and sit and feed them. Then burp accordingly. My kids still eat like this. It will get easier when they sleep more! I think I was a zombie for at least 2 months >:

No, I'm not bf-ing. I had a very traumatic labor and ended up not producing ANY milk. My OB and doctors think because of the trama endured, my body just decided to repair itself and didn't have enough strength the produce milk. Oddly enough I don't have any boppy's. I need to buy two this weekend. I think that would help me when I have to feed them both at once.