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Adoption
New/Intro
Hi,
My husband and I have tried for almost 2 years now to get pregnant. I had a shocking(never had 1 symptom) diagnosis of stage 4 endo/cysts last spring. I just went through IVF and found out last week it failed. I am in between deciding if we are doing IVF again. Not actually deciding, but if it can fit in before Jan 1st then we will do it because my insurance covers it. If not, we can not do it because I student teach Jan-March and will not have the insurance I have now. We have been in contact with an adoption agency that does domestic infant adoptions for a few months now. I just contacted them at the end of last week about setting up a meeting which we did for the 29th. I then read that the adoption credit is going away for 2013, so I emailed them back now that we would not be able to afford adoption.
How does everyone afford adoption on here? It would be around 20-30,000 in my area. I am also thinking about doing foster to adopt here in IL because then it would not cost money like doing a traditional adoption through an agency. Any advice would be great!
7/18/12-1st RE appointment CD2 blood work taken. Told to move straight to IVF. Starting BC pills and FSH injections plus Lupron. Hopefully doing ET in September
Off BCP March 2011
Started TTC July 2011
7 months TTC with no luck an then....
Diagnosed 2/24/12 with 2 Ovarian Cysts.
3/22/12-Lap to remove cysts, look for endo, and see if tubes are clear.
3/22/12-Diagnosed with Severe Endo(tubes are clear).
4/4/12-Post op OBGYN appointment. Told chances of conceiving naturally are very low, but told conceiving in the next few months is our best chance due to being cleaned out during Lap. Referred to a RE.
RE said IVF is our only chance to get pregnant. Told only a 20% chance even with two put in.
9/5-Lupron
9/20 Stims(Menopur & Follistim)
9/30 Trigger time
10/2 ER
10/3 fert report-out of 7 eggs retrieved only 2 fertilized. Hello "Thing 1 and Thing 2!" Kinda sad there is none to freeze. Because only 2 we will have 2DT to get them back into a natural envionment
10/4 ET. Found out that only 1 divided. We love you "Thing 2." Thing 1 is now snuggled inside me and we are praying it will be our take home baby!
**Did not even make it to my beta, the day before on 10/16/12 I got my F'in period** Such a stab in the heart.
Nov 2012-Moving onto domestic newborn adoption! Can't wait for my take home baby. We will try IVF again after 1-2 years of a clear head. Need a break from infertility treatments/issues for my mental sanity!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New/Intro
Thanks,
I am not able to get private mail. My account never has worked like that. When I click on check private messages on the left of the page, it takes me to a mailbox on The Nest for some reason and I never have messages there.
Welcome.
The credit *might* go away. There's a bill up for a vote sometime after the election. Or it will go away, and a new bill will be introduced. The fact that it's up in the air is what is making a lot of people nervous.
Does your company or your DH's company have an adoption reimbursement program? That may be something to look into.
We sold a rental property that allowed us to make the "big" fee payment for DD's adoption. But there are a LOT of options. Some people get second jobs, or take out loans, or apply for grants, or hold fundraisers, or start an Etsy store, or a combination of the above. Some find agencies that work on a sliding scale based on income, and some pursue adoption with law firms or independently, cutting down on costs but increasing the legwork on their end to facilitate a match.
I wouldn't encourage foster/adopt if your only reason is to cut costs. Foster/adopt isn't for everyone, and IMO you should make sure you're 100% comfortable with the ramifications of the foster/adopt process.
I'm also curious, since I've heard it before. How would the adoption tax credit (which you don't get until after you finalize) help with affording adoption on the front end?
We were thinking about getting a loan from our credit union and I think if we were able to show them that we would be getting a huge chunk of the money back(guaranteed), they would be more likely to give us the loan. I am just finishing up grad school so with that loan, my husband's school loan, our 2 car loans, and our mortgage, I just don't see getting approved for a loan for 20,000 dollars.
Hmm, basically I know that IL adoptions should be on the lower side that you stated vs higher side if you look to go through a lawyer vs. some agencies, but I wasn't sure where in IL you lived.
Can you actually adopt through a lawyer? Like they are the one that finds a birth mother for you? Or do you mean just using a private lawyer. This is a website I found for an adoption lawyer in my area. Would I contact her directly about adopting? I didn't know this was a possibility.
https://www.iladoptionattorney.com/
Yes you can. Depends on how you set up the atty relationship and what their policies are. Some will charge you to advertise through them or you can advertise on your own. I would speak to someone to get some options on how it works in your state. Chicago lawyers may be more expensive then others. Ours is located in Southern IL.
Hi, and welcome. Reading your posts, it sounds like it might be helpful to you to learn a little more about the different types of adoption, and what each entails. There are many different ways to adopt, they each have their own process, and different fee schedules and costs. I'm a firm believer that there's an adoption process that's right for each family that seriously wishes to adopt.
Books like Adoption for Dummies or The Complete Idiot's Guide To Adoption (which I used) are a great place to get started. They provide lots of basic information on adoption, the different types, the processes, and how to research an agency. Other good books are The Complete Adoption Book and You CAN Adopt. Any of these will help you decide which type of adoption best ?fits? your family.
You may also wish to check out the FAQ's at the top of this board. There's a ton of information in there that would likely help you in this early research-phase to point you in the direction that works best for you.
The adoption credit is up in the air, which is frustrating I know. People do a lot of different things to pay for adoption, some fundraise, accept loans from family or friends, get a personal loan from a bank, borrow from retirement, work a second job, cut expenses and save up, etc. A word of caution about using credit cards, two agencies we looked at when we were interested in domestic adoption actually had higher fees if you were using credit. Some agencies also charge on a sliding scale depending on income.
If you are interested in doing foster-to-adopt then definately do lots of research, I think it's a wonderful path for a lot of people but it's a lot different then domestic infant adoption. PP had great suggestions for books to start out with, it can really help to educate about the different paths to adoption.
To be blunt, with that kind of debt load, now may not be the time to adopt. Depending on your age, I might encourage you to go into serious debt-payment mode for 3-5 years, then revisit the adoption option.