When is enough enough? (regarding pumping/BF)

IBackBevo

I never was able to breastfeed due to multiple issues.  Long story short -  little one had IUGR and was in NICU and had to be on formula for weight gain and low blood sugar and never able to latch properly due to being so smal...by the time he got big enough and strong enough to latch, he was pretty much spoiled to a bottle nipple.  So I've been pumping for the past 7 weeks.

My supply was always low. I tried fenugreek and got it up some (maybe 15-16 ounces a day) but it made LO very gassy and he would throw up the milk and/or have horrible gas pains afterwards.   And I've tried pretty much everything else under the sun (no suggestions needed because I can pretty much guarantee I've tried it!)  to no avail.  I'm down to 4-5 ounces a day and having to spend hours a day to get that.  And at the rate it is going downhill I'm pretty sure it will all be dried up in another week or two unless I take the meds. Last wee I was getting about 8 ounces.  I'm to the point that I'm either going to stop and enjoy the last 2 weeks I have off before I have to return to work (which is very appealing) or take prescription medication to try to increase my supply.

But I'm really torn. I feel guilty for stopping, but I'm not crazy about getting on medication that could have side effects..or may not even work.  Also, I do think it would be nice to enjoy my last two weeks with LO without this added stress before returning to work. 

I feel torn.  Anyone else go through this?  When did you decide enough was enough?

EDIT: Let me also add that I am also having to forego taking medication I need (ADHD meds) to be able to give LO breast milk...another reason that the 4 ounces a day doesn't seem like it is worth it.

mindymaske

I also EP'ed for the first 5 weeks. I had low supply issues and LO had lots of gassy issues. It just wasn't great. At 5 weeks I decided to stop and I felt alot of guilt and regret that first week BUT since then...i don't feel guilty about it anymore and LO and I are both sooo much happier with formula. I did my best and LO got bm at first (which is most important) and now she's a happy and healthy baby, im happier because Im not hooked up to a damn pump all day and get to spend that time with LO instead

I say dry up and you'll both be happier.

downwardsunshine

My advice? Quit pumping. I was you two weeks ago, I couldn't make enough, I spent hours pumping and it made my LO a very gassy puke machine. I felt horrible guilt for even wanting to quit by after holding my LO for an hour while he cried with gas pains i said enough is enough and I switched him to Similac sensitive and he is happy as a clam and so am I. I can enjoy my baby without being tied to a pump for hours a day and basically not eating anything in an attempt to figure out what I was eating that was bothering him. 

twoitalians

Don't feel guilty!!! FF is just as nutritious as BF. A generation ago there were waaaay more babies being FF and they turned out ok, myself included. Do what makes you both happy and not stressed. At the very least you were able to give your LO breast milk for these 7 weeks or so. Some is better than none.

PonyJane

I agree with the other two posts.  It sounds like you have a lot of really good reasons for stopping pumping and you have certainly given it your best effort.  Enjoy your last weeks of leave.

Bamagirl99

I'm in the same boat...my LO is four weeks old and I just decided to quit pumping/BFing and switch her to formula. My supply is low and she never seems full after a feeding, plus she has been very gassy and fussy lately. Yesterday she didn't sleep at all even though she basically fed all day long.  I finally gave her formula in the evening and she slept for 6 hours straight (she was exhausted). I've tried pumping to get my supply up, but it's been miserable trying to nurse/pump all day long and I feel like I haven't enjoyed my maternity leave at all because I've been so stressed about trying to breastfeed. I've also had mastitis in both breasts and I've been on antibiotics twice now. My husband and I talked about it yesterday after I broke down crying again because LO was so upset and wouldn't sleep, and we agreed that it's just not working for us, so we're switching to formula and moving on.

 

danieliza1127

If I were going through all of that, I would just quit and switch to formula.  Formula fed babies are happy and healthy too and you have put in such a major effort, I think it's time to just give it up.

BillyMollyEmmy

I'll tell you what my doctor told me when I went to my LO's appt. crying because I wasn't producing and couldn't BF or pump for my daughter. I was getting 2 or 3 oz. a few times a day and it wasn't enough to do much at all with.

Anyway, he told me that there are bigger things in life to worry about... and he asked me what I wanted to remember about my first few months with LO... the exhaustion, frustration and time I spent pumping to no avail, or the smiles, the first moments and the happiness of having my LO. I quit pumping that day.

I still experienced guilt, but several weeks out, I'm so happy I listened. My baby is happier, I am happier and I'm enjoying her. (And my husband loves being able to help.)

teacherjess

I am in the same place. I have been EPing for 5 weeks after post-delivery issues screwed up Bfing but my supply is crap and has been from the start. I never pumped more than 10 oz a day and even with Fenugreek, Mother's Milk tea, water, oatmeal, etc, I am not getting any more and it is getting old. I am supplementing with Similac Sensitive and he is so much less gassy and spitty after formula and I can't figure out what I am eating that's bothering him. I am upset to even think about quitting because I swore I would stick it out this time, but not sure how much longer I can stay tethered to the pump for a measly 8-10 oz a day.

teacherjess

I will add, to make both of us feel better, my DD was 100% FF and is as smart and healthy as any child her age, if not more. It took me a long time to get over my failure to BF her but seeing her grow and develop just fine has helped.

IBackBevo

Thanks for all the supportive responses!!!  I'm really thinking more and more that I'm just going to hang up the pump shields and enjoy my last couple of weeks of maternity leave.  I think about all I could do with that time - cuddle with little one, exercise, take a walk around the neighborhood with LO in a stroller - and the stress it would take off of me and I just don't think it is worth it.  Plus, when I go back to work in a couple of weeks, it will be better for me to be on my meds.  I went the entire pregnancy off of them and I definately noticed a difference.

Hyaline

I'm a huge proponent of breastfeeding, but you know what?  THANK GOODNESS we have formula for the situations where breastfeeding isn't going to cut it.  You're not quitting because you don't feel like it anymore or you're just thinking about yourself--you aren't able to keep your supply up.  Legitimate reason.  Do what's best for your quality of life right now.

tamararachel2

I am so glad I found this post! I know that it's only been 2 and a half weeks since LO came along, but we've always had an issue with LO not getting enough to eat. I was told just to keep nursing but LO was never satisfied! My FI and I finally agreed to supplement with formula and it's just better so far, but I tried something out. Instead of latching LO on, we gave him a bottle of BM and then FF after and I pumped and at one pumping session I got a little bit more than an ounce (both breasts!) and then at another I couldn't even get a half an ounce out of both! So I'm assuming that I just can't produce enough. I'm at least going to try to pump and continue to give LO as much BM as I can for the first month but if nothing improves than it's on to FF the whole time. I'm glad other mothers are out there in the same situation! 

rarazz

I was in the same place last week, only producing 4oz a day. I tried everything including going on reglan. Finally we decided it wasn't worth the stress and I just wanted to enjoy my time with LO. 

I am also in the same boat with ADD medications, and omg I feel so much better being able to take my medication again. It has improved my daily life drastically.

Im not going to lie I still feel guilty that it didn't work out but with every day I see how happy LO is and how happy I am being able to function again and it is worth it. 

citrarose

I'm in the same boat. After he was born I felt like I was constantly BF him because he was always hungry. We had to supplement with formula since day 2 because he lost a lot of weight. I think my milk came in late also because I had an emergency c section. I tried to BF as much as I could for the first 4 weeks and it would stress me out so much. Once we started giving him more formula I was a lot happier. I went back to work after 8 weeks and I've been trying to pump and BF twice a day each but my supply is dwindling. I used to be able to produce an ounce at each feeding but now I can hardly get half an oz after not pumping for the night. I haven't pumped or BF in the last two days and I can't help but feeling guilty. I just tell myself that I've done what I could and at least he did get some milk from me.