blindsided...

PhillyGal34

I know you guys will understand so I hope you don't mind a small vent... 

 

Today I went to a friend's baby shower. I was prepared for any feelings of sadness when I saw her belly or saw her open presents wondering what the baby will look like in them since my shower wasn't quite what I expected (DS was born 3 weeks before it and in NICU) but as soon as I got there I had a slap in the face (totally unintentional... not mad or upset with anyone). The mom's SIL was there and is due in November... YAY. but she was wearing the dress I bought for my shower, which I never got to wear.  Currently it is in my box of maternity clothes with the tags on it.  It's always bothered me that I didn't get to wear that dress, I really love it, and when I was getting ready for my shower I was really sad that I wasn't going to wear it (I had already lost a large amount of my pregnancy weight so it would have looked strange. I had no belly to fill it) so I guess seeing it at a shower was just sad for me. 

 

BUT I did decide that when we have another child I am going to wear that dress for a gender reveal party or something fun.  Ideally I would like to wear it after I hit my 32nd week but I'm scared I'll go earlier and never get to wear it.  Either way, it will get worn for something next time and I will be proud to wear it!

 

Still a bit sad though :-(  

Denesdia

You made my heart ache a little for you.  I can imagine the feeling at the sight of "your" dress.  Uggh.  Baby showers are really a mine field of emotions and triggers for most of us. Bless your heart for being so positive about the whole thing.  The fantasy baby shower that got hijacked by the NICU is in my top 10 list of items that still hurt to this day.  It is the little stuff that gets ya. 

PhillyGal34

Usm no hijack. I'm sorry you have these feelings as well

I'm trying to stay positive. Today is the first day I've cried in a while. If you told me there would be tear free days 3 months ago I would've called you a liar. Now they are few and far between and I'm grateful. I know there will be tough days ahead and some I'm prepared for. Others, like this catch me off guard.

Mrs. Alice

  I'm sorry.  That's tough!

I remember just a couple weeks before I was admitted to the hospita at 24 weeks I bought a maternity dress for my shower that never happened.  I had to return it 6 weeks later and they wouldn't take it back intially because it was past the limit.  I had to tell the saleperson my story and she had sympathy on me and accepted it so I could exhange it for a nursing bra...  HUGS.

Cara03

Ugh... this is so hard. You have totally impressed me by going to a baby shower this close to your LO's delivery. Yesterday I just went to my first baby shower post DS's birth, and he's turning 3 soon! I couldn't make myself go until this point; I had avoided them all, and even so, yesterday was really tough for me and I didn't even have the outfit situation. I'm so sorry you had to see your dress there. We totally get it. FWIW...it sounds like you are doing amazingly well given your situation.

PhillyGal34

Thanks guys. It wasn't easy going but my friend was there for me and she's gone through a LOT to have this baby (her 6th round of IVF was finally successful!) so I know it meant a lot to her that I was there.  it was a small shower with just a few friends and so it wasn't as overwhelming as most showers are.  

 I wish I would have been able to return the dress... unfortunately I had already had it for over 2 months when I had him and then by the time I had the strength to attempt to return it ... well I still don't. I'm not sure I could walk into motherhood yet!  

eSynergy

I'm sorry... it's crazy how little things trigger those memories. I give you credit for going to a shower so soon after your LO was born. I still get sad when I see pictures of new moms on facebook holding their newborn babies in their hospital rooms.