Purchasing baby things

edaire

Hey everyone,

I'm new to this board. My fiance and I decided to start our adoption journey earlier this month. We are going through a private agency for our domestic adoption. Our wedding is next weekend (yay)! We have all of our initial paperwork turned in and approved. We have to wait to do our police and FBI background checks until after the wedding as well as sign our contracts. But everything else is done! My question is how soon is too soon to start buying baby basics, like a highchair, crib, changing table etc.? We have not had our home study yet, but I know as a social worker for child protective services we require foster parents to have at least a crib or bed (depending on the age of the child) in order for them to be approved. I expect to have all paperwork, contracts, etc completed and turned in by Christmas. I assume then we move into the "waiting" phase. When did ya'll start buying the baby basics?

KdgTeacher

We've been TTC for 2.5+ years and been done with paper and waiting for a match since May of this year.

I haven't bought a single baby thing.  I have no idea how long our wait will be, and personally don't want the stuff in the house. Nor have we moved anything out of the room that will someday (hopefully) be a nursery and our case worker said nothing of it. 

If worst comes to worst, WalMart is open 24/7 for me to grab a crib and car seat if we get a super last minute placement. 

*We are doing adoption only, not fostering

jillianmb

This is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong.  We made the decision to go ahead and start buying things for our international adoption when we finished the home study.  We did not know if our wait would be 6 months or two years, but we wanted to feel the heights of the experience, which means opening ourselves up to the depths.  That is not for everyone and you have to be honest with yourself.  I loved buying things and getting excited about our adoption!  I even had my shower before our adoption was made official in the courts- another risk, but again- I wanted the joy. :-) 

You can start shopping now or wait until the last minute- totally up to you!  GL! 

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raecheleblue1

Like other PP said, it's really up to you, as it's personal preference, unless your agency has certain requirements.  We waited a while.  I didn't want anything in my house, even after we were matched.  It wasn't until a friend bought something for us did I spring into action and now I'm buying more.  Our emom is due in a couple of weeks and we've only allowed ourselves to buy the basics...with the exception of a few too darn cute things that I couldn't pass up.  

cogbot

Everyone is different.  We have been waiting almost a year, and I haven't bought anything.   

jacksjerseygirl

I agree this is a personal decision no right or wrong answer.

With both of our children we went all out with decorating the nursery. Our son's had hand painted farm scenes and animals and our daughters is the very hungry caterpillar. Both were 'gender neural' in design.

I'm type A and wanted a plan. Everything was ready to go.

In my opinion the first weeks and months can be a blur and sometimes stressful. I can't imagine trying to design a nursery and organize at the same time. I just want to be comfortable and enjoy the bonding time.

I don't think it matters if the wait is 2 months or 2 years. It isn't a reminder of something bad but about the future.

Anyway. You don't need to do anything for infant adoption. The room could be left bare.

You mentioned things like a high chair just keep in mind that some things you won't need for a long time and if your agency does have a long wait you might want to wait on some gadgets as they come out with new products or models all the time.

Good luck!

Dr.Loretta

We bought the basics when our profile went active. We focused on the Big 4: crib, stroller, carseat, Pack n Play. That's also when we put the basics of the nursery together, and started pulling together clothes and diapers.

lizlemon2

Are you doing domestic infant adoption or adoption from foster care?  That may change some things.

 

Overall, I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.

 

 

We have been given some items and purchased some ourselves.  Having a pack and play may be good.  Can someone be on "stand-by" if last minute items are needed?

 

We are waiting on a car seat, because we don't know the size of the child and they expire.

Karen1024

I have been wandering through baby stores buying little things one at a time to help manage my anxiety waiting for our EM to give birth! It has really helped!!! We didn't buy anything until we matched so we didn't need a crib or anything to be approved. One day I'd buy bottles then 5 days later an outfit etc.. My husband and I would go shopping together for the big things one at a time... Our first match fell through so this match I mostly wander and "window shop" but it's still fun and now I've been checking out second hand stores. Knowing that any match might fall through, we made all the big stuff gender neutral.  (Yellow walls, blue glider, dark purple stroller...)  Plus, it helps me feel closer to her, starting the bonding process... We will have a baby shower after everything is official so I'm trying not to buy too much so that we will have stuff to register for!  

Good Luck! 

erinmc1

We bought everything when we had two possible adoption scenarios with immediate placements brought to us, one week apart, back in Feb.  8 months later, we're still waiting for our match.  

 In the early stages of the wait, buying things made me feel like I had a sense of control over the process.  We've been done for so long now though, that it feels a little depressing, like the nest is fully nested and there's no baby bird.  

Just try to imagine how you'll feel if you have everything except the baby.  If you believe having baby things around will make you hopeful of what's to come, go ahead and buy.  If you think it'll make you sad, wait.  Like the PP said, it's different for everyone.  

Congrats on starting your journey!