MIL hosting a shower but wanting to invite people I don't know!?!

kestes946

Hi everyone,

My MIL is giving me a shower in about 3 weeks and she's been very excited about the whole thing and so am I... BUT since planning this shower she has wanted to invite people that I really don't know. She thinks that inviting people my husband knew years ago is okay and we've both mentioned a few times to her that it would be kind of awkward. I think the thing that bothers her a little is that my invite list is on the low side, and thats because I no longer live in the same town as she and some of my friends do and I only wanted to invite the friends that I still keep in contact with and are close to. 

Just today she was asking for an address of a person I hardly know and I had to tell her we aren't in contact with them! I have a feeling that when I get to my shower there will be people there that I don't know! (awkward )

Any advice on how I should handle this or what I should do differently? 

Thanks fellow board posters!  

abell77

This is a tough one because it is your shower, but your MIL throwing it for you is a gift so you can't call all the shots.  I went through a similar situation when my MIL threw a bridal shower for me.  She wanted to invite all of her friends, which I felt awkward about because none of them were invited to our wedding since it was a small affair.  In the end I just let her invite whomever she wanted to invite because I realized the shower was more about her than me.  I think she was just excited and wanted her friends to meet me, so I decided to roll with it.  Perhaps something similar is going on with your MIL, she could just be excited to be a grandma and want her friends to be a part of it.  Try to roll with it and send nice thank you notes.

2Chefs

Yeah, it;s a little awkward, but the guests with whom you've lost contact with can always decline if they feel like it's a reach; and the guests that are your MIL's are probably just excited for her to be a grandma and to meet you.  Or, if not, they can opt out too...

Your job is to have fun and be a gracious guest of honor 

SunAndRain

"MIL, I am so excited about my upcoming shower and still cannot believe my good fortune that you have offered to host the party.  I was wondering about the guest list.  How would you feel about limiting to only close friends and relatives?  I would love to be able to spend time visiting with the guests in a more intimate setting."

Always start with a compliment and show your gratitude.

Hopefully she'll agree off the bat and then any guests that don't meet the criteria to which you have both agreed won't make the final list.

If she insists, then let it go.  Not a hill to die on.

mhickey426

I think that if she asks about someone specific like that then just say that you don't speak to them anymore.  Otherwise, leave it alone.  She is throwing it and therefore paying for these people.  You gave her a list so you will know people there.  I think you need to just relax and not stress about this because it is not worth getting yourself worked up about.  If you were paying for it then I could understand you being upset about it.

1026pumpkin

If she's wanting to invite her own friends, I think you need to suck it up since she's the host.  For people nobody has seen in a long time, just tell her you're not in touch with them anymore and it would feel awkward to invite them.

As PP suggested, emphasize wanting to keep it intimate so you have time to visit with everyone. 

kestes946

Thanks everyone for the advice, tips and opinions! Many of you were pretty consistent with your response in that I should just let it go and enjoy it regardless.. I think I'll do just that

 

Thanks again! 

alyssbinder

This is a toughy because it is your shower, but because your MIL is hosting this for you I would suggest not saying anything. Those you don't know very well will be so happy to be part of your day and spend time with you! Although it sounds overwhelming having people there you don't know well, I'm sure it will be a lovely. Just spend most of your time with your family/closer friends!

tiffanyandjason2012

Yikes. Sounds like what my MIL would do. Good Luck with this