Anyone else have a 9 MO who is not a wonder baby?

Helenahhandbasket

Hi-- this is my first post here-- my DD turned 9 months on the 16th. 

Just some background- I am a first time mom, and I don't have a lot of mommy friends, so a lot of my references come from TB. 

When I read these boards, it always seems to me like my DD is way behind.  She can't crawl (can roll really fast though), just started to sit unsupported last month, babbles but doesn't say any words, and tries to feed herself (cheerios, cooked pasta) but almost never gets anything in her mouth. 

I feel like I am constantly reading about all of these amazing things that other babies her age are doing- pulling themselves up, walking, talking, waving, clapping, doing your taxes  etc

Here's my question- when should I be concerned?  Should I be concerned?  Our ped has not said he is worried about her development at all, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that she is behind.  What say you?

 

kerischrader

DS certainly likes to take his time to do stuff, He just started crawling and isn't babbling yet... he is just starting to figure out how to wave. We had him tested and they said he was right on track... he is very much an observer and studies things and people. So every child does things at their own pace. If your Dr. isn't concerned then you are good

sarenu1

If your doctor isn't concerned, you shouldn't be concerned.  But make sure you address your concerns to your doctor directly.  I find that I usually get a better answer if I bring up that I need more clarification and ask him directly what I should be looking for that could signal that there is an issue that should be looked into.

 Don't worry about crawling, not all babies crawl.  Some roll and some just go to walking.  My daughter went from army crawling to crawling pretty quickly.  Then she went from pulling herself up to walking with a scooter within a few weeks of each other.

 However, she doesn't wave to us, and she only says "mamama" when she's in distress.  She claps once in a great while.  But until last week she still had difficulties getting food to her mouth and still does have a lot of misses (she's 9 months and 2 weeks).

Helenahhandbasket

Thanks for sharing ladies.  It's not like I am terribly worried, but I can't help bu have some concern.

MH usually takes DD for her appointments (I work FT, he's in school FT so his hours are flexible) so I will have to remember to make sure he asks the ped the specific things I am worried about.

 Thanks again!

ktpaladino

I never crawled...went straight from sitting to walking. Some babies skip developmental stages. I think way too much emphasis is placed on what babies ought to be doing at a certain age these days, especially when every baby is unique. Relax and enjoy this time instead of worrying!

Tink112011

I think so much has to do with a baby's temperment and personality. My DS is very rambunctious and busy. Exhausting, quite frankly.  Never would I use the word "mellow" to describe my child.  There is another boy in his daycare that is a few months older than him, but behind him on a variety of skills.  This kid, however, is the chillest kid on the block.  LOVES snuggling and loves his naps.  You can tell that he's just not in any rush to learn how to walk - he's rather be napping   My DS is a terrible, terrible sleeper, so I'm jealous. 

 Don't worry momma.  She'll get there when she wants to!

Helenahhandbasket

Tink112011:

I think so much has to do with a baby's temperment and personality. My DS is very rambunctious and busy. Exhausting, quite frankly.  Never would I use the word "mellow" to describe my child.  There is another boy in his daycare that is a few months older than him, but behind him on a variety of skills.  This kid, however, is the chillest kid on the block.  LOVES snuggling and loves his naps.  You can tell that he's just not in any rush to learn how to walk - he's rather be napping   My DS is a terrible, terrible sleeper, so I'm jealous. 

 Don't worry momma.  She'll get there when she wants to!

Thank you!  I wouldn't necessarily call my DD mellow, but she IS an amazing sleeper so I know I am lucky when it comes to that.

mben1119

If your pedi isn't concerned, take a deep breath. Also, keep in mind that crawling isn't even a milestone, as many babies don't even do it (or, some only crawl backwards and things like that). DS is 11 months, and just started waving and hasn't clapped yet, but he walks...they do things on their own timelines. And, your LO trying to feed herself and babbling are all indications that things are fine.

aboehman1

My 3 year old nephew was not hitting milestones as fast as his peers.  He didn't walk until 16 months and was slow to begin speaking. However, looking at him now, he's right on track and doing great!  Don't worry about other babies.  I hate when people compare babies as well.  Every child is different and develops at his/her own pace.

crystaleyes39

I am in the same boat as you and have worried from day one especially since my girls are preemies. They just recently started to army crawl and they're 10 months. They still dont sit too well unassisted and not until a month ago did they start standing. They also are still on just purrees no fun solids yet because of feeding issues.  I have had both my girls tested by PTs/OTs/STs and they were not worried at all. My one daughter is working w/ a ST on feeding related problems but otherwise they are right on track. It seems like when I freak myself out about something w/in a few days they are doing it. My one daughter was saying "dada" and the other wasn't. the same day I mentioned that I was worried about that she started to say it.

Every baby is different so just hang in there and give your LO time.  If your pediatrician isn't concerened when you address these things than dont be to worried.

MrsJordanalmond

my oldest never crawled, and didn't walk until he was almost 15 months.

my youngest has never rolled over.

as my good friend says, when they are all in kindergarten eating paste, you can't tell who walked early/late, was bf/formula fed, had a SAHM/nanny/daycare, etc. 

Chargersgrl33

Have you brought it up with your pedi?  They will be your best advocate for milestones.  And don't stress, babies do what they want when they want. 

PrimRoseMama

If your doctor is not worried then I wouldn't be either.

What I find funny is that every time I start to worry or wonder about DD she surprises me the very next day (or within the week) with something new. Babies do their own thing on their own time. Don't borrow trouble and try not to worry!

kali55

Helenahhandbasket:

Tink112011:

I think so much has to do with a baby's temperment and personality. My DS is very rambunctious and busy. Exhausting, quite frankly.  Never would I use the word "mellow" to describe my child.  There is another boy in his daycare that is a few months older than him, but behind him on a variety of skills.  This kid, however, is the chillest kid on the block.  LOVES snuggling and loves his naps.  You can tell that he's just not in any rush to learn how to walk - he's rather be napping   My DS is a terrible, terrible sleeper, so I'm jealous. 

 Don't worry momma.  She'll get there when she wants to!

Thank you!  I wouldn't necessarily call my DD mellow, but she IS an amazing sleeper so I know I am lucky when it comes to that.

I envy you!  And if you have addressed your fears with your doctor and your doctor is not concerned, I wouldn't be either.  One day, when your DD is running around and won't stop asking "why?" you will look back and wonder what you were so worried about. 

brewcitybride

I wouldn't be concerned! All babies are different. You'll see a marked difference from 12-15 months-ish. Lots of my friends had babies that didn't crawl at all, and went straight to walking. My nephew, who is the smartest kid in his class, didn't even babble until he was 16 months, and didn't say his first word until age 2!

The first year is such a huge developmental age for babies, and yes, there are developmental markers that a lot of babies might reach, but if yours doesn't, that doesn't necessarily mean there's cause for concern! You just have a baby on a different time schedul! Also, your baby sounds pretty typical for the average 9 month old!

 

lizziekparr

I feel the same way about my 9 month old and feel I'm in a similar position RE no Mama friends. My daughter is a calm baby and very smiley and happy to play on her own for 15 to 20 minutes while I catch up on chores/cook/do paperwork etc. She's not crawling but will turn on her tummy 360 so she can look round the room. If I stand her up she'll hold on and stand for ages but sometimes she'll get excited and just let go like she doesn't understand she'll fall. I have to catch her because we have wooden floors and even with a rug she'll bang herself hard.

 Sometimes I think it's my fault because I'm not showing her properly or not giving her opportunities to practice or maybe I'm not pushing her enough... but then I don't want to pressurize my baby because of what other babies can do. I wondered why she wasn't trying to pull up and started pulling her hands so she'd start trying to standing up without me standing her up. It turns out she can and wants to stand up on her own, she just hasn't worked out that she can use furniture to do this too.

Babbling is a vague word. She says papa, caca, tsssss, agua, dada and makes funny noises in various tones... is that babbling? I watch videos of other babies her age and they look so much more confident with their movements. She is getting the hang of eating, today she picked up a lentil in pincher grip and got it to her mouth, things quite often don't get to her mouth though. I'm full of doubts as to whether both she and I are doing OK. I just have to calm myself by thinking and my baby is happy and healthy and I should be grateful for that. So she's not a early developer... Einstein didn't talk until he was 4.

 

diana.filipi

Don't be concerned any time soon.  Your pedi will ask questions and let you know when, or if, you should be concerned.  They ask little questions at the checkups to make sure your LO is on track.  The range for normal is huge.  My kids have both gone pretty quickly through some of the first stages but DS has been at least 2 months behind his sister.  My best friends kids run about 4-6 months behind them for any given milestone but they are perfectly normal and our DDs are great friends and her DD has basically caught up completely by now.