Zen crashed and burned

HeathernSteven

Well I posted a bit ago how I was feeling really zen. I was lookign forward to this cycle because I was giving it an all out try using teas, massages etc etc before RE in Nov.

I have been doing well actually felt really positive the last two weeks about getting KU. Don't get me wrong I am stressed, I am in the last semester of my masters trying to write a thesis and take an online class, opened my own office in July, trying to get clients and I am running a large camping weekend starting tomorrow for about 100 people including food and activities. I was doing ok, earlier this evening told DH we needed to BD tonight...

Then i checked my voicemail, got a call from the mortage company - DH & I both lost jobs in the 3 years ago, we have have been struggling, bank denied us a mortage refi or modification...well now they want us to sell the house...my zen crashed and burned, we aren't behind....yet.

But dear god, they brough everything to a screeching halt and I completely broke down, wondering if we should even be TTC, am I being selfish etc etc but I am 40 in 2 months and DH will be 45...not like we can wait till we are financially secure again...

sorry I just needed an outlet, DH is being great but right now he feels he needs to strong, and his strong is kinda saying buck up. I just needed my release....

Just venting, thanks ladies.

happywifemomofone

Sorry that your Zen crashed and burned, but nowhere does Zen = > in ability to get KU.  Sounds like you've got a TON on your plate, would recommend tying a knot and hanging on for the ride.  TTC > 35 is not easy for many, but it often gets harder as time passes.  Have you tried a housing/credit nonprofit to go to bat for you with your mortgage lender?  I would think your county housing dept could point you in the right direction.  When DH was struggling with his mortgage before we married, they were able to do infinitely more than we were able to do on our own.  Breathe...and remember, this too shall pass.

Qzees

I am sorry they were such debbie downers.  Why in the world would they suggest you sell your house if you are on time with your payments?  That does not make any sense.  In this economy & the housing market - that would just be stupid - not to mention going into the winter months - just not the time to sell a house unless you are desparate.

I say continue with TTC & if you do get KU, there is a reason for it.  Try & stay positive.  Just because that mtg co said no, does not mean that another co wont.

I did just sell my house - it was on the market & sold (papers signed) in less than 6 mths).  I did get what I paid for it (actually 4K more), but I lost all the $ I put into it, along with taking a loss because the realtors took their cut.  I was worried I was going to get hit harder than I did - so it wasn't bad in my eyes.  I figured if I had to rent a place, I would have spent the amt I lost & then some...

The buyer of my house was pre approved & then turned down by his first bank.  He ended up trying another bank & got approved and now lives in my old house   Can you contact another lender and try again?

Good luck - hope you try another lending co & they say yes...

megaboosmom

I have no advice on the financial front, but just want to throw some support your way.
I don't feel that you should stop TTC. I think you would maybe regret that in a few months or so, when things are looking up again. You don't want to feel like you wasted valuable months that you could have possibly gotten pregnant. And no, I don't think it's selfish to try even though your financial situation is shaky. It sounds like you are working hard on improving your situation, and that's all anyone can do.
I hope you find solutions and some peace of mind very soon!

robbensm

megaboosmom:

I have no advice on the financial front, but just want to throw some support your way. I don't feel that you should stop TTC. I think you would maybe regret that in a few months or so, when things are looking up again. You don't want to feel like you wasted valuable months that you could have possibly gotten pregnant. And no, I don't think it's selfish to try even though your financial situation is shaky. It sounds like you are working hard on improving your situation, and that's all anyone can do. I hope you find solutions and some peace of mind very soon!

This and hugs on the way!

HeathernSteven

ladies thank you, today was a better day Although I am not on any drugs I do think I have hormones raging and there are days things just melt. Last night was one of them....the kind that throws everything into a tail spin - I even question grad school - I have 8 weeks left. So getting KU was a big question.....

Happywife thanks for the suggestions, I truthfully had no idea there really was other options...I will look into it.

Thanks for everything - some days are harder then others, but today was a better day!