natural birth fears

PortlandValentineBride

Not sure where to post this- but last time I had a natural birth and it was insane.  52 hours of labor, 3rd degree tear.  Strongly considering the epidural this time.  At least I have some time to mentally prepare.  Any natural birth ladies going for the epidural next time?  I don't want to post this on the natural birth board but maybe I should?  Thanks ladies  

dannie2011

The ladies on the natural birth board are pretty nice. Well they were when I was on that board.

Well normally each birth tends to go faster, your body already knows what to do. Second did you have anything that could of made your birth longer or harder. Like they kept you in bed, or pitocin tends to make contractions worse, anything like that.   Was your LO face up that also tends to slow things down and make back labour much more intense.

You could always go in with the frame of mind that you are going to see how it goes, if it gets too much have a secret word that your husband knows that means your serious. Not just complaining. Then get the epi.

PortlandValentineBride

I labored at home for 46 of those hours, didn't even have an IV (so no pitocin) and was all over the hospital- stairs, birth pool, shower.  I just hear of epidural birth stories like - I was so relax/ well rested/ present.  

Frankly, I was in another universe and when my son finally came out, I was so exhausted I couldn't even hold him.  

I never asked for an epidural before, so of course it is an option this time.  Just venting a little anxiety.  I will mosey on over to the Natural Birth board when I get up my courage. 

JavaVino910

I had an epidural, so feel free to disregard anything I say :-)

I think that if you didn't have a great labor/delivery experience the first time around there is nothing wrong with exploring your options and doing something different the second time around. If you want an epidural this time around I don't think that's anything to feel bad about. Just do whatever is going to make this pregnancy/labor/delivery less stressful.

babydoll22308

JavaVino910:

I had an epidural, so feel free to disregard anything I say :
I think that if you didn't have a great labor/delivery experience the first time around there is nothing wrong with exploring your options and doing something different the second time around. If you want an epidural this time around I don't think that's anything to feel bad about. Just do whatever is going to make this pregnancy/labor/delivery less stressful.

for myself i am pronatural, but i had a great experience. i feel like each person should choose a birth plan that will make the experience positive and exciting. you are meeting your baby and bringing a life into the world. so if your first time was a bad experience for you and you dread it, i dont think there is anything wrong with choosing a way that makes u happy and your experience a blissful one:

folkfemme

babydoll22308:

JavaVino910:

I had an epidural, so feel free to disregard anything I say : I think that if you didn't have a great labor/delivery experience the first time around there is nothing wrong with exploring your options and doing something different the second time around. If you want an epidural this time around I don't think that's anything to feel bad about. Just do whatever is going to make this pregnancy/labor/delivery less stressful.

for myself i am pronatural, but i had a great experience. i feel like each person should choose a birth plan that will make the experience positive and exciting. you are meeting your baby and bringing a life into the world. so if your first time was a bad experience for you and you dread it, i dont think there is anything wrong with choosing a way that makes u happy and your experience a blissful one:

Absolutely everything they said. Try not to stress about it, mama. Just go into labour with the plan of seeing how it goes. You don't know how long/easy your next labor will be, so just take it as it comes. If it becomes too long or too much, get the epi! And don't feel bad or beat yourself up over it. There's no shame in admitting that you need a bit of help. 

folkfemme

Double post. 

ETA: Congratulations on your pregnancy!

kaitylin

I didn't have a natural birth but ill give you my epidural experience. I ended up being induced for high BP and the whole process was nearly 50 hours. I went the first 45 or so hours without an epidural and finally at that point I was exhausted and asked for the epidural. It was amazing. I slept for a few hours and woke up and felt like I needed to push. I called the nurse in and sure enough DD was right there. I refused to even start pushing until I could put my contacts in that's how comfortable I was! and was literally texting people telling them it was almost time between pushes. I had joked with my sister that I'd text while pushing and she insisted I wouldn't be able to so I had to prove her wrong...lol

For me, after being in labor so long it was amazing to get some rest and feel energized while pushing. It only took a couple pushes and I was able to hold my own legs and everything my legs weren't so numb I couldn't move them. I felt like I got to focus on the excitement of DD being born rather than pain and so I really enjoyed the moments leading up to her birth thinking about the amazing thing that was about to happen rather than shrieking in pain. I ended up tearing so was extra happy to have the epidural.

Everyone's experience is different of course and I'm amazed at woman who do natural births but for me, part of it being a positive birth experience was being comfortable enough to really relish each second and each push and it was my favorite part of the entire pregnancy. After DD was born I had energy and sure I couldn't walk for a bit wasn't long... Maybe 30 mins but I had nowhere to go but snuggle with DD anyway.

I will definitely get one again if I have another so that I can really enjoy the pushing experience!

bestmaid6

I had a 32 hour, natural labor and birth and I've had the same thoughts, too. I try to remind myself about how great I felt after delivery and home alert and healthy DS was. I was exhausted when labor was over, but I felt great shortly after. I was to go to the bathroom on my own, take a nice hot shower and had a relatively easy recovery. Not saying it was because of the natural labor, but I figure it had something to do with it.

So I guess my advice is remind yourself of all of the positive aspects of your first labor and concentrate on them, rather than the negative. 

OpheliaChem

I haven't posted on the boards in forever! But I wanted to share my two cents. I ended up getting a epi even though that wasn't my birth plan. In fact, every aspect of my plan fell apart. DD's heart rate decelerated so I was hooked to a monitor, not allowed to get up for any reason. I was in a decent amount of pain but not at my threshold. However, I had a bilobed placenta, which means the placenta was in two pieces connected by a little bit of tissue. The docs feared that if both pieces of placenta didn't come out, they would have to use gen anesth to get the other piece. With an epi, they could just do a D & C to get the other piece. So I caved and got the epi. I was in labor for 24 hours total and I had to push for FIVE HOURS because DD was actually looking sideways on the way out. Her head was right there for all five hours but she was stuck behind my pelvis and because of the epi, I could barely feel the pressure of the contractions so I couldn't push right. I had a 3rd degree tear too. So yeah, no pain for me but I hated that experience with an epi. Next time around, I'm hoping to use a birth center and I am definitely (as long as its a normal birth) using a midwife.

JuneBug0611

It's totally understandable you're not looking forward to another NB given your first experience, and I agree with the others that the epi isn't the end of the world...

That being said I had a really positive NB experience and so I am a general proponent of NB.  Presumably you are too, or you wouldn't have gone through all that the first time!  So just remember that each birth is different and the last one is no guarantee that this one will be equally bad.  They do generally get shorter each time.

My sister had 2 NBs and then had an epidural with the third after she reached 7cm dilation.  She said that she had enjoyed the experience of natural birth twice but was just too tired with the 3rd, so she got to the point where the chance of the epidural leading to other interventions was minimal to none, and then got the epidural.  so that's an option too.  You could tell yourself you will try to make it to X before getting the epidural, and see if when the time comes you are up for it.  If not, there's no shame.  IMO there are good reasons to try to avoid the epidural, but like I said, it's not the end of the world if you get it, and you will still have your healthy baby at the end of the day! 

Joyfullnoise

I had a natural birth at the hospital the first time w/ a 3rd degree tear. We will try to go natural again and are thinking homebirth this time around.

I think that I can be in a more relaxed less frantic, exhausted place this time [in our house!] and that might help me from tearing so badly, I hope. The tearing is what I really fear.

I also hear that 2nd babies very often have shorter labors?

If you feel like the possibility of an epi can help you through this and have a healthy baby, do it. My sister set herself a goal that she would make it to at least 12 hours of labor or a 7 before she got an epi, which she did, but for her, this was the right way to go and help her feel like she did what she set out to, but not pressured to try to hang-on to something she wasn't mentally committed to doing. 

PortlandValentineBride

Thank you for all the sweet responses.  Last time, I was more afraid of the epidural, and while I am scared to tear I think my actual birth experience is causing a bit of trauma.  Of course it will be a -see how it goes- experience.  Again, it is just something I am focusing on right now since I just got my positive test.  Time will tell of course but your responses have helped.

kimbo1216

Maybe just go in with an open mind.  Don't feel pressure to do either one.  That was my plan, and although I did end up getting an epidural, I waited as long as I could.  I'm going to do the same with the next one.  We'll see what happens.

MammaBear81

babydoll22308:

JavaVino910:

.

for myself i am pronatural, but i had a great experience. i feel like each person should choose a birth plan that will make the experience positive and exciting. you are meeting your baby and bringing a life into the world. so if your first time was a bad experience for you and you dread it, i dont think there is anything wrong with choosing a way that makes u happy and your experience a blissful one:

All of this... I went natural for all of mine, but again I had good experiences.  I'd say look into your options and go in with an open mind.  If this labor goes faster, and you don't feel you need the epi, then go natural again, if you see it progressing into long hours, making you exhausted, then get the epi. and relax.  No matter what you do, the important part is that you have a good experience. GL