never been away from mom? — The Bump
Pre-School

never been away from mom?

My DS has really never been away from me much. He's done a couple of over nights with his grandparents, but I've never really left him with a stranger. Our local library has a pre-school story time for 3-4 year olds. The children go into a classroom with the teacher and the parents wait outside for an hour. They do line, story, art etc. I thought it would be a great way for DS to get more comfortable with being away from me. This week was our third week. The first week I had to sit with him in there the entire time. The second week I stood at the door. This week I sat with him and then kind of walked around outside. He was doing great. Then I heard the teacher saying, "It's ok, we'll find mom." DS was crying. The teacher said he was doing great until it was time to transition to the tables for art and got nervous. DS was hysterical and calling for my H. We ended up playing trains in the library after that because he didn't want to go back in.

 

Anyone with a LO that has a really hard time with this? I'm wondering if I should stop taking him to story time, or if I should keep gently pushing him to go. I could also just sit with him during the entire thing, but it's hard because I also have a 5 month old.

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Re: never been away from mom?

  • Why can't you stay in the room w/ him and just not interact?  Or just minimarlly interact?  You could try giving a reward for not going to you, but not punishing for doing it either. 

    I would just hang out in/near the room and discuss it with him ahead of time and tell him what you'll do/won't do.

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  • I would definitely continue going. He will get used to it. This is good for him! I would play it by ear according to what he'll let you do. I would sit next to him in the class as a last resort, and I'd push him to be a bit more independent each time. Hopefully if you keep going it won't take him long to be comfortable with the idea of not having you within his sight.
    S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15


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  • I would not push it. He may just not be ready. That is how my oldest was for library class, I think it had to do with me going to so many classes with him before. He had no issues with separation at preschool either... never cried!
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • imagesunnyday016:
    I would definitely continue going. He will get used to it. This is good for him! I would play it by ear according to what he'll let you do. I would sit next to him in the class as a last resort, and I'd push him to be a bit more independent each time. Hopefully if you keep going it won't take him long to be comfortable with the idea of not having you within his sight.

    I agree with this.

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  • My DS had major attachment issues. We ended up taking him to a psychologist at 3 to find out how to cope. I would keep going. The advice I still live by is set the expectation that you want and follow it. So if you want him to go and go in by himself, do that. If he comes out to you fine, but have a plan to deal with it.
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