TTCAL Question

GavinRonansMom

I am not sure if I am just trying to focus on something other than the consistent pain but I find myself longing.to be pregnant again.
Dh and I decided to try once.we.get the go ahead. Doc said probably 2cycles.
I was just wondering if we are alone? How long did you all have to wait? Were you able to get pregnant right away?
I just want something else to think about.... :

dandywarhol

After our first loss (D&C) the Dr. said wait two cycles. We waited 3 and got pregnant right away. After the second loss (vag. delivery) the Dr. said we could get preg. as soon as we felt emotionally ready. We started TTCAL right away but it took us 6 cycles. After our 3rd loss our Dr. said wait two cycles. We waited two and are currently TTCAL. 

You pregnancy question might be better suited for PGAL as many of the women here are still dealing with their recent loss and are not PGAL.  

Heatherhah

We started TTC 3 month after my c section I am also 39 so we only have a short window and with some issues TTC we needed medical help. It took us 6 months to finally get out BFP. It helped to be distracted from my grief but honestly it is so hard being PGAL it is not for the weak. I will  warn you every BFN killed me while we were trying.

Good luck to you.

Heather

fluttergirlmoonchild79

DH and I are about to start TTCAL.  The doctor told us we could whenever we wanted but that he recommended waiting at least 6 months just from the emotional standpoint (but in his words "I won't be upset if you come in 2 weeks from now pregnant.").  DH and I talked about TTCAL within the first few days of losing Corbin.  We both decided that we were going to wait a year just so we could attempt to get a handle on our grief and we also wanted some separation and some space in between.  We didn't want to feel like we were trying to "replace" Corbin.  We ended up booking a vacation which we leave on in 10 days.  We decided that was going to be our green light.  My parents are going on the trip with us and my mom keeps saying "you can have a Made in Italy baby, that would be cool."  I'm already panicking about it.  My pregnancy was very text book and normal but knowing what happened to us and also knowing all of you and others that have experienced different situation, it just messes with my mind.  I think the most important thing is to get the go-ahead from your doctor and also make sure you and DH are on the same page.  DH and I had never planned on having kids and then we had Corbin and our mind changed immediately.  I've never wanted to be pregnant so badly. 

Wishing you peace and love

Bayberry12

I am so sorry for your loss.

It is completely normal to have feelings of wanting to be pregnant again right away.  It is something else to think about and look forward to.

After my delivery, I was told to wait 3 - 6 cycles.  Although it is important to be emotionally ready, I'm not sure I'll know when I am "ready", I don't think I'll just wake up one day and say "Ok, I'm not going to be scared if I get pregnant again"  I will always be scared, and it's going to be really hard to get through another pregnancy.  But at the same time, I am feeling stronger emotionally now (6 months later), and have more acceptance of the loss of my daughter.  I'm having feelings of wanting ANOTHER baby, not just the one I lost.  Like the other poster said, It's important know the difference and that the child we lost can not be replaced, and any new baby will be someone different.   

meli1025

I feel the exact same way as you do.  I actually have a dr. appt. today and plan to talk about this, because just after the loss he told me we would need to wait at least 6 mos. to a year.  I am longing to be pregnant again as well and would love to have something other than this pain to focus on.  I am not sure why he said 6 mos. to a year, I'm guessing so that we're emotionally ready.  But we also still have no idea why we lost Ava so I know we need to at least wait for the results of her autopsy.  I'm hoping there are some preliminary results he can share today.  Good luck and I hope we can be in our journey of TTC again soon. 

starburst0928

I haven't had my 6 week PP visit yet, but like you I am very eager to be pregnant again and have another baby. I'm not sure I'd ever be emotionally ready... The fact that our son is buried is never going to change for the rest of our lives. Having a baby ASAP isn't replacing him, it's allowing me to parent a living child. (Sounds selfish, I know). 

I completely understand your desire to be pregnant again, and it's a very normal feeling. Sometimes I wish I never was induced for labor and Bradley could still be inside me. 

OSUWifey09

In the days after losing Devon, my mind was consumed with getting pregnant again as soon as possible. But, I had an MMR shot in the hospital that required I wait 90 days, so even though my OB cleared me to try again right away, we wouldn't have been able to anyway.

Now that I'm two months out from losing him and a month away from our TTC window, I think I'll be ready for it, but I'm not sure how I'll do emotionally. I don't think I'll ever be able to say, "OK, I'm ready to be pregnant again," but my desire to give JJ and Devon another sibling outweighs my fears of something happening again. At first, I wanted to be pregnant again to replace my grief; now, I feel like I want to be pregnant again to continue living, give our boys another sibling and round our family out. We've decided to start trying again during the Christmas holiday and see how it goes. I have faith it'll happen for us, even though I know emotionally it could be challenging. As I mentioned in a previous thread, I want to seriously start counseling before our window opens in December to help me prepare mentally [and see if I'm truly ready or just kidding myself].

GavinRonansMom

Thank you everyone for your responses...I know most of you are in the same position as me....

We have a living son, and I am hoping and praying for another sibling for him...I am scared to death of being pregnant again, and I am in no way wanting to replace Noah, I will always be his mother...but I don't think I will ever be emotionally ready, so I just want to be physically ready...

Mrs Nice

I was told to wait 3 cycles to heal physically. It was a long three months. I felt so empty, and the phantom kicks I felt didn't help any. I was so very fortunate to get pregnant again on the first try.

*funny side story* My SIL had a Fantasia Party. (like a Tupperware party or Pampered Chef Party, but with sex toys and such, for those of you who may not know what a Fantasia party is) It was a lot of fun and a really good time out with the girls. Zachary was conceived that night! Hehehe.... 

GavinRonansMom

I can't believe how many different responses we have gotten about how long to wait...I guess some if it is in relation to what type of issues we each individually have had...but over all I guess I am still surprised.

Mommy2dandm

GavinRonansMom:

 

We have a living son, and I am hoping and praying for another sibling for him...I am scared to death of being pregnant again, and I am in no way wanting to replace Noah, I will always be his mother...but I don't think I will ever be emotionally ready, so I just want to be physically ready...

I feel the exact same way. I have an nineteen month old and I always wanted her to have a sibling close together. And I want a baby to hold badly. But I am terrified Drew would think I was trying to replace him. I am not far out from my loss, so I hope that feeling goes away with time. 

 

weddedwife

I understand the desire to be pg again like NOW. It was on my mind constantly after losing our son. Our Dr. told us to wait "a few" cycles. We started trying on my 3rd cycle, got pg on my 4th.

I also wanted my kids to be close together in age. But I was still nursing DD at 18 months, when we were ready to try for #2, and I hadn't gotten AF yet. She weaned herself at 21 months and I was pg w/ Nathaniel 2 cycles later. So now if (FX) everything goes well, she will be 3.5 when this LO comes. Not what I had planned but I have learned that so much in life can't be.

Scrantonluv

Since mine was a full term stillbirth, delivered vaginally, no complications, I was advised my one Ob to wait six months to a year. Another said three months was fine. I got pregnant again five months after the delivery, and my uterine lining and everything looks fine so far on ultrasound. Definitely stay on your prenatal vitamins in the mean time.

I was obsessed with getting pregnant again right away, partly because of my more advanced age and feeling like I would run out of time if we didn't try again soon. Partly because I was Sooo ready to be a parent. It's a personal choice. As long as you do the grieving pArt and don't assume another pregnancy will cover the loss as if you COULD forget!, getting pregnant again soon might be a reasonable choice for you. It was for us, but everyone's different.

I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs.

meli1025

GavinRonansMom:

I can't believe how many different responses we have gotten about how long to wait...I guess some if it is in relation to what type of issues we each individually have had...but over all I guess I am still surprised.

 

I went to my doctor appointment yesterday and asked him the reasoning behind the 6 month wait and he told me it was more about being emotionally ready.  I told him that I feel like I will be ready much sooner and he said that was fine, but to give myself 2-3 cycles before trying again.  I felt like I had something to hold on to briefly, a glimmer of hope.  I am afraid that subconsciously I'm looking to replace Ava, so I know I need to work through that before we start trying again.  I also really want ds to have a sibling close in age.  Every time I think about how close I was to giving him that I lose it.   

GavinRonansMom

meli1025:

GavinRonansMom:

I can't believe how many different responses we have gotten about how long to wait...I guess some if it is in relation to what type of issues we each individually have had...but over all I guess I am still surprised.

 

I went to my doctor appointment yesterday and asked him the reasoning behind the 6 month wait and he told me it was more about being emotionally ready.  I told him that I feel like I will be ready much sooner and he said that was fine, but to give myself 2-3 cycles before trying again.  I felt like I had something to hold on to briefly, a glimmer of hope.  I am afraid that subconsciously I'm looking to replace Ava, so I know I need to work through that before we start trying again.  I also really want ds to have a sibling close in age.  Every time I think about how close I was to giving him that I lose it.   

My appt was also yesterday. The doctor said 2 cycles still. She actually said we could try after one if we really wanted but she is doing a blood draw on the 14th of Nov to rule out clotting to help "ease" our minds (I guess she doesn't think it is that, but wants to cover all bases) and I can't be pregnant for the draw as it screws up the results I guess. I am hoping and praying for my cycles to return to "normal" since I have always been amazingly regular, even after the birth of our living son (whom I EBF). 

Good Luck to you! I hope we are both getting BFP soon!

buggirl72

Our doctor cleared us to start right away if that is what we want. Because of my age (40) waiting six months to a year really is not a good option. While all parts of this are scary I am absolutely dreading the BFNs. 

GavinRonansMom

buggirl72:

Our doctor cleared us to start right away if that is what we want. Because of my age (40) waiting six months to a year really is not a good option. While all parts of this are scary I am absolutely dreading the BFNs. 

hopefully you won't have to see any BFN...I literally cannot wait for my period...if it takes longer to come back than expected (meaning more than 4 or 5 weeks) we can just try after the first. Our big thing with needing to wait is because I can't be pregnant for that blood test....a test that I don't think we need, or will tell us anything, but one that will hopefully just put our minds at ease more..

 Good luck to us both!