So I survived

Heatherhah

I know a lot of the new mommies don't know me so well. So I will give a little side story.

Last year we lost our 2nd DD at 38 wks 4 days with no explaination on 9/30/11. It has been a tough year.

I am currently pregnant with my rainbow baby and scared to freaking death. Well yesterday I had to go to the hospital to get a steroid shot to help with this DD's lungs and had to return to the same hospital where we discovered our DD was dead. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do besides live without my DD for over one year now.

I just kind of was posting this to tell you that tirggers may come and go and this one came and went I survived I cried ugly tears and got through it. I am not sure how but I did. I have to go back today to get my second shot and DH is going this time my Sister went yesterday with me thank goodness. Triggers suck but this one was roguh but I made it and so will all of you when things come up like this.

Huge hugs ladies!!

Heather

fluttergirlmoonchild79

So, so proud of you for making it through - ugly or otherwise!  I'm just now getting ready to start the TTCAL journey and I'm already freaking out.  I can only imagine where you are.  I'm glad you had someone to go with you yesterday and today.  {{HUGS}}

karebear57

((Hugs)) I'm so happy you made it through yesterday. I hope today goes just as well.

jess123456

So proud of you, Heather. That must have been incredibly difficult. The thought of stepping back into the office where our lives came crashing down scares me so much. I know that it took you a lot of courage and again I am really proud of you!

starburst0928

Ugh, that does not sound like fun. I have to drive past the hospital where Bradley was born sleeping EVERY DAY. 

I'm glad you survived. Are you giving birth there?  

Heatherhah

Starburst-- yes I will be delivering there. I didn't really think i would have to go there before hand the day of my schedules c section was going to be our first day back but it didn't work out that way.

jbranden12

((hugs)). I understand. My OB's office is in the hospital so I am there all the time. Every time I go I have to walk through the sliding doors where they wheeled me out without Patricia. I still request not to use the ultrasound room where we found out Patricia was dead. I figure it can't hurt to be a little superstitious. In that room, we've only heard bad news.

OSUWifey09

What a huge step for you - I'm glad that you made it through. The hospital that delivered Devon is in my hometown, and I hardly ever drive by there. But, I went back two weeks after the loss to deliver a thank you arrangement to the nurses. I made it through without crying, but I broke down in the elevator on my way out. It felt good to go there and get through it, but it hurt to be there at the same time.

mcarter127

That must have been so hard! Definitely make sure you tell the nurse to put you in a different room if you ever have to go and stay for any period of time. We always tried to write a little note on the patients chart so we wouldn't mistakenly put them back in the same place that something traumatic had happened before.
I have to go back to my MFM's office tomorrow and I am already so anxious about it. It's definitely going to be rough going in there knowing everyone else is pregnant.
Good luck with your 2nd shot today, I hope it's a little less painful than yesterday.

Gabgaps

This helps me a lot. I have to go back to my doctor's office and I am DYING. Last time I was there I saw my son's heart stop right before my eyes. I am really struggling and reading this makes me think maybe I can do it. Thanks for sharing. You are a strong woman!

starburst0928

I guess it's good practice for you. I was going to suggest not to be in the same room you were last time, but that's been covered. 

This time around, you'll have a much more positive outcome when you deliver! It'll probably be one with mixed emotions, but I'm excited to hear all about it when it happens!  

weddedwife

Glad you got through it. I knew you would! My OB's office is at the hospital where I delivered; I would shake and cry for months every time I went back there. I'd start panicking the second I even drove into the parking lot. It has slowly gotten better.

I've had 3 L and D visits already w this pg. I was a sobbing wreck the first 2 times. Each time I asked to not be placed in the room where I labored with my son but honestly just being there was awful enough. After my emergency cerclage was placed I had to go to the recovery room; it was where we held our son for the first time after he was born and died. I almost didn't recognize it at first then it dawned on me where I was.

All of these things were super traumatic, and surreal in a way, but I survived.

Big hugs Heather, hopefully today will be a little bit easier than yesterday.

Kris721

I will also be delivering at the same hospital where I had Logan.  I am very anxious about it.  

cmenasco

So proud of you!  It has been a little while since I have had a Trigger, but I know they are lurking out there.  Good luck with the rest of this pregnancy and I can't wait to hear and see pictures of your new little one!  Enjoy it as much as you can, even though I know you are worried.  I have faith that this one will go well ;-)

Heatherhah

Thank you so much ladies you are all awesome!!

philfemgal

Glad you survived.  It really sucks going back to the same place.

We have done two ultrasounds in the fetal diagnostic center where we found out our first twin died and right down the hall from labor and delivery.  We also had one surprise trip to L&D triage when I had bleeding.  That was scary as hell.  But we survived too.

I will be delivering in the same place so in a way I almost think it was better that we went back there (though I would have preferred less scary circumstances) before the labor itself.  Now we have left L&D once after losing Alice with an empty uterus/empty arms and we left once with a baby still inside me and doing fine.  I hope the memory of the latter will help us with not freaking out too badly for the actually delivery (hoping, of course, that we make it to that point in the pregnancy).

GavinRonansMom

I am So glad that you made it through. This board.is filled with amazingly Strong women!